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Hi, my name is Christy and I am a Facebook Junkie! Seriously, I spend way too much time on FB and I believe I need an intervention. My addiction has grown over the past couple of years since I left the “real world work force” and became a stay-at-home mom. I mean how can you blame me? There are other ADULTS on this lovely social networking site. They speak in full sentences for the most part, they amuse me, and they keep me informed about happenings that are outside of my little bubble. On Facebook, I am not only allowed to expose my narcissism, I am actually encouraged to expose it. It’s a beautiful thing. BUT with that said, there are some major issues I have with my daily addiction and I feel compelled to share some of them with you here. If you are guilty of any of these personality disorders, I wish I could say I’m sorry for pointing them out, but I’m not. Maybe you could take this as a “lesson” rather than a Top 10 List!
#10 The Negative Poster. Seriously, are things really that bad in your life that you feel compelled to post at least 10 negative thoughts per day? We do NOT feel sorry for you, there is NOTHING wrong with you. The only thought we have when we read your daily posts is “Do I ‘defriend’ or just ‘hide’ you?”. Get over yourself, your busy life (because of course YOU are the only one that has one of those), seek counseling if the depression worsens, and just shut up for God’s sake….WE DON’T CARE!
#9 The Game Poster. Ok, you like to play games, we get that. Most of us do play them on FB, BUT we do not find it necessary to post our every action for all to see! Stop that! It’s freaking annoying!
#8 The Word Misuser/Misspeller. I understand FB allows for limited characters, hence abbreviations, the use of numbers for words, and the accepted misspelled substitutions in order to fit your clever thought or story into your status. I am ok with that and am guilty of that. NOT the problem….the problem is the people that need to get off of FB and go back to grammar school. It is NOT “a quite place”, it’s quiet dammit! Their, they’re and there….three different words…three different uses….learn them! Same goes for to, too, and two…if you don’t know the difference, use that number substitution thing for that one, you’ll look savvy instead of stupid! Then there are just the blatant misspellers. If you are so far off on a word that people can’t even figure out what you are trying to say, look it up or do NOT use it. Annoying!
#7 The Colloquialism Overuser. JUST SAYIN…..Nuff Said!
#6 The Kid-Hating Parent. You gave birth to them, you chose to keep them, you chose to stay home with them, you chose to put them in sporting events which do require time and money which you knew in advance. STOP bitching about them. Be proud of them, post funny stories about the crazy things they do (we LOVE those), post about their accomplishments….OR do what your mother told you to do if you had nothing nice to say! If I have to read one more “I love my kids BUT….”, or “I can’t believe I have to drive little Suzie to practice again…”, or “You aren’t going to believe what my stupid kid did…”, I think I am going to reach right through my computer and slap the snot out of you! These offenders tend to go hand in hand with the Negative Posters.
#5 The “Repost This” Poster. This one might really tick some people off, but I don’t care. You really need to find your own stuff to talk about. I personally don’t want to read the same status like 50 times nor do I want to be the 51st poster of said post. And most of the stuff that you ask me to repost is really not that intriguing anyway. For example, if you have a great son and it’s Son’s Week (seriously though how many times can that week actually be official every year?), how about post something fantastic about your own son, something personal that we’d all love to read? Like that idea?…USE IT!
#4 The Over-Liker. Although I am probably guilty of “liking” too many posts and/or comments myself, some people just aren’t too thoughtful about their use of this button. For example, if someone posts “My dog and companion of many years, Toto, died this morning and went to Heaven”, do NOT “like” that….it’s rude people!
#3 The Fisher. In my opinion, probably one of the most annoying of all and this one requires an example:
Ima Noying says “UGH SOME PEOPLE”
Friend 1: “What’s wrong sweetie?”
Friend 2: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Friend 3: “Are you ok?”
Ima: “CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT ON HERE, I’LL TEXT YOU”
Then why oh why did you post it on FB in the first place? If I want to tell someone something private or if I want to text something to them, know what I do? I text them! A little bold I know, but it works!
#2 The Capitalizer. Do these people even understand what this means? Do they know computer etiquette? Are they really yelling all of the time? Are they yelling at me? Do they not know how to use their shift key? I mean, what’s the problem here? I’ve noticed that Fishers are generally Capitalizers as well. Correlation?…Drama Queen!
#1 The Stalker. These people post NOTHING…EVER. It’s really, really strange. They just jump from friend page to friend page “liking” this and “liking” that. No comments, no words whatsoever but they appear everywhere. They have like one picture on their profile and almost no information at all. And yet we all have a “friend” like this that we somehow allow to remain there! Freaky!
There really are so many others that I could outline (poke fun at) but I swore when I began this exercise that I would keep my list to 10. Now with all of this said, I do believe that my FB friend list will probably shrink considerably once this has been read. Oh well! I really do spend too much time on there anyway quite honestly! So which personality type are you?