It’s 10:00 am, 5 hours till take off and things are NOT going well. Let’s start with the fact that my oldest daughter “gets” me, bless her little heart, she “is” me! So last night she offered to pick up the boy child and his sister this morning and bring them back to her apartment today to take one more bump out of my otherwise rocky road. B called the boy child who informed him that his sister is not at home so this will not work with their schedule. I know, you are shocked as was I. So we go back to the original broken plan of having to meet them Thursday morning before going to my mom’s house. At this point, I’m handling this all quite well, Bud Light and Marlboro seem to be my only friends though.
I believe I mentioned that Bubby has had an over-active bowel problem over the past few days and has developed a rash. Well, wonder of all wonders, I wake up with the same problem, not the rash of course but I have the shits (enough with trying to put this politely). Oh and to add to this complication, I have a spasm in my back. I’m beginning to think this all might be a little stress-induced, but not certain. It’s OK though, I’ve got this. I have Amodium and Goody Powders, it’s all good!
I text B to see what time his “lunch” is at work today so I know when he might get home and I can be ready so we can leave. I know this too will shock you, but until today, he has neglected to obtain this little important tidbit of information. So the lunch is from 11:00 until 1:00 (2 whole hours…but he has to stay for it or he won’t get paid for the whole day, and God knows we need the whole day’s pay). This puts him home at about 2:00 pm putting us in Georgia somewhere around 3:00 or 4:00 am their time. Yes, this is going well, right according to plan! Then shortly after this blow, he calls to tell me that the waste-of-air had called him to “warn” him that the boy child and the in-laws have jumped on the crazy train so we might want to be prepared. Really? I didn’t know they had ever gotten off the ride. Thanks for the information lady, now go waste someone else’s air! Oh but she did say that the boy child had lied to her and there was absolutely no reason baby girl couldn’t have picked them up this morning. OK, so now I’m just getting pissed. On to packing.
First step of course was to go clean out the car. As you might imagine, B is somewhat of a slob and although he does wash my car regularly, he is also prone to leave candy wrappers, tools, cups, drink bottles, etc. just lying around in there. But I managed to get all that out, and unload all of the toys that were in there without my wheelbarrow, now I’m ready to start loading. No I’m not, what’s that I smell, Bubby just shat again? Yes, oh yes, this is going exactly according to plan!
I’m sure it will all be OK. I’m certain that I will get packed and ready in time. I’m positive that we will make it there safely. I am not quite as optimistic that I will be able to maintain my cool and I am really working on trying to maintain my cool. I tried to ask for advice from 17 but apparently he isn’t speaking to any one of us anymore, except of course the goat, they are tight. None of us can quite make out what they are saying, but it does NOT sound pleasant. We are all afraid, very afraid!
Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.
Hey y'all! I'm Christy and I'm glad you could stop by. Have a seat, grab a drink or a straight jacket, and join me as I share heart-healthy recipes, stories and life lessons about my insanely large family, and whatever else pops into my hot mess of a mind! Read More…