I often sit and wonder what an hour of alone time would feel like. I don’t mean the occasional trip to the grocery store by myself alone time, I mean the loony bin, padded-cell, solitary-confinement kind of alone time that I imagine must be out there (without of course having to actually go certifiably insane or committing a hideous crime). I haven’t had this kind of time in 21 years, that’s right TWENTY-ONE years. I have been the mother to a small child (at least one of them) for that many years, and will be for another 6-7 at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother, and a wife, but is it too much to ask that I get the desperately needed solitude that I so richly deserve, that time that I should just be vegetating, relaxing, doing nothing at all, nothing for anyone? Is an hour too much to ask? Apparently so!
I put my all into everything I do, always have. When I worked, I gave it 110% as they say, then I came home and gave that same 110% to my family. Now that I stay at home, I give all 220% to my family and home. As you can imagine, this doesn’t leave much time for me. There is always laundry to do, a mess to clean up, a meal to make, a boo-boo to heal, hair to brush, poop to change, trash to take out, crayon to clean off the walls, discipline to instill, a husband that needs love after a long day of work, carpet to vacuum, floors to sweep, hearts that need mending, finances that need attention, advice to give, crafts to make, homework to do, of course this list goes on and on and on, but you get the idea. Oh I do get to take a shower daily (generally with one or the other of the little ones either in the shower with me or standing on the toilet singing). I do put my makeup on daily because it makes me feel human, but again, there is always a little one standing right by playing with all of my stuff and asking me questions all the while. I do get to curl my hair daily, but generally have to run around retrieving my brush because again, some little creature has run in and swiped it from me. It’s OK because this is my job, this is what I do, this is who I am, but still, an hour, just one, is that too much?
Well, as I sit here at 11:27 pm, attempting to write this and make some sense of my own thoughts, all the while with a two-year-old that refuses to quit singing long enough to go to sleep, a four-year-old that just defies all sense of rules and regulations, and a husband that has a cold for Christmas so he has to sleep in the recliner so he can breathe, I realize that this idea is just a pipe dream. It will never happen. Actually, I’m sure solitude is overrated. I may never know, just like how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, but a girl can dream, can’t she? Can’t help but wonder every once in a while if certifiable might just be an option….at least for an hour!
Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.
Hey y'all! I'm Christy and I'm glad you could stop by. Have a seat, grab a drink or a straight jacket, and join me as I share heart-healthy recipes, stories and life lessons about my insanely large family, and whatever else pops into my hot mess of a mind! Read More…