O.M.G…..I Will NEVER Do This Again!

Well, it’s been two weeks and I never thought I would last this long as a brunette, but I made a pact with myself that if I did the crime, I would do the time.  I’ve done my time.  It’s been HORRIBLE.  Daily, Bubby walks up to me, rubs my head, and says “No, Mommy, No”.  My husband comes home and says “You are so pretty it doesn’t matter what you do, but I really prefer you as a blond”.  Bug continues to tell me she likes my dark hair, and of course we all know she is plotting her quest for dominance over me, so of course she would encourage me to be substandard.  I have been called “Ma’am” over the past two weeks more times than I care to mention, and if I had my guess, some of the “Ma’am” callers were even older than me.  I don’t wear my hair down, EVER, not even one day!  It’s so heavy on my face, I have to get it off, like the plague.  No, this has NOT been a good thing!

So here I sit, at 11:00 pm, 40 minutes into my venture back to blondness.  I am in the orange phase now and it’s not pretty (prettier than the DARK brown that has been plaguing me for two weeks, but not pretty).  I started with that atrocious dark brown, put the bleach on and quickly turned a lovely shade of (ick) red just as the box (and all of my online reading) said I would.  Then orange, and I don’t mean a brassy kind of color, I mean PUMPKIN orange.  I’ve moved beyond the gourd phase now and am at somewhat of an orange/pinkish hue.  Although I do love pink, I’m hoping we move beyond this and turn a little more blond.  Apparently YELLOW is next.  I do NOT look good in yellow!  90 minutes max, that’s what it says, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed! 

Why oh why did I do this to myself?  I’ve been wondering for two weeks, and now I’m wondering even more.  All of this to go back to my natural hue (without the gray).  Such a moron!  Nope, I will never do this again!  NEVER!  I’m glad I tried, I’ve always wanted to so I’m glad I got it out of the way.  Now I know.  I am a blond.  Not only by appearances am I a blond, everything about me is a blond (you know what, go ahead with the jokes, I don’t even care, I’m weak at this point, I have no retort).  I haven’t been myself lately and I am looking forward to being ME again!  

The funniest (funny in an odd sort of way) thing about all of this is that I am a reader by nature.  I read everything.  I read anything I can get my hands on.  And yet I realized today while I was reading the best way to undo my horrible act, that I had not read anything about my dumb ass decision two weeks ago.  You see, while sifting through all of the information about how to “change back”, I found an article somewhere entitled “The Best Hair Color For You”.  I should have bookmarked it so that I could pass on the exact information and ward off any harm you may be intending on doing to your own hair, but alas, I did not.  In a nutshell, the article said that nature knows best and although some people look good in any hair color, most do not.  If you were born blond (or brunette, or red headed) and remained that way throughout your childhood, chances are that is the best color for you and you should maintain that as an adult.  Really?  It’s that simple huh?  Well, slap me silly and call me Blondie (or pinky as the case may be at the moment).  Note to self:  Do NOT color your hair (or make any other major decisions) on a whim…you will probably regret them later!

Now if you’ll excuse me, my head is itching from all of these chemicals and I believe I am getting dizzy from the fumes.  Must.step.outside.for.air!  20 more minutes until rinse time.  Wish me luck!  Stay tuned….hopefully there will be a happy ending to my tale of woe and Goldilocks will be just that in the morning rather than Orangilocks or worse yet, Baldy-No-Lock! 

About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. I have always wanted to go blonde but it Miami, being a brunette is an advantage – in a sea of blondes, I stand out! LOL