As a mom, there are certain things in life, the inevitable things, that we cannot prevent for some unknown reason, and yet they drive us insane. Following is a list of those amazingly inevitable things that drive ME insane!
#1 I talk on the phone very infrequently. But it does not matter if I get on the phone once a day, once a week, or once a month. The minute I put that thing to my ear and begin to open my mouth, no matter how well-behaved my children might have been until this instant, they begin to attack me with a litany of questions and demands. They are hungry, they are tired, they want a toy, they begin to fight, they want, they want, they want, they want. And then the moment I realize I’ve lost control, I immediately politely excuse myself from the conversation, hang up the phone, and suddenly all of their wants, fears, fights, and demands cease. Coincidence? I think not. Drives me insane!
#2 I have a shower curtain. I like shower curtains. Shower doors are hard to clean, they are a pain. If the shower curtain gets dirty, you go to Walmart and for a mere $2.00, you can replace it and it’s all new and clean again. I like new and clean! But why is it that it lays so nice and pretty during my entire shower until the very moment I decide to shave my legs? I make sure to place my leg carefully against the wall, the opposite wall from the curtain, and yet, the moment I place my leg in shave position, the shower curtain has an obsessive compulsion to blow itself right onto my leg, my whole body as a matter of fact. The thing gets possessed. No matter how I place my leg or body, it takes me over, suffocating my very being. Coincidence? I think not. Drives me insane!
#3 My kids can be perfect angels all day long. They clean up their messes, they don’t fight, they don’t cry, they don’t whine, they do nothing wrong. The minute my husband walks in the door, they act like raging lunatics making him believe that I have lost all control and this is the way my entire day goes. Thus he believes that I am not doing my job and he is the only one that can gain control over these wild hellions. Coincidence? I think not. Drives me insane!
#4 My kids don’t cuss (much). Really they don’t! But the minute we go out, the minute we are around church going folk, and God forbid, the minute we get around my in-laws, my 4-year-old always pulls out the F-bomb! Coincidence? I think not. Drives me insane!
#5 My children, without exception….If I tell then don’t, they do. If I tell them do, they don’t. Why is that really? Coincidence? I think not. Drives me insane!
I’m sure y’all have items you can add to this list. If you do, please feel free. I would welcome anything….anything….surely I can’t be alone!
Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.
Hey y'all! I'm Christy and I'm glad you could stop by. Have a seat, grab a drink or a straight jacket, and join me as I share heart-healthy recipes, stories and life lessons about my insanely large family, and whatever else pops into my hot mess of a mind! Read More…