That guy over there in the red hat. The one with my Bubby. I love him for many reasons but I have “favorite” moments that get me through the rough spots and love that they keep on coming (the favorites of course, not the rough spots).
And yes, we have “rough” spots. All couples do. If anyone tells you they have a perfect marriage, they are either lying to you or to themselves!
Marriage is rough! Life is tough! But being able to hang on to the good stuff and holding on to what really matters? Now that’s the important stuff! We’ve maintained the balance!
My husband is not always (rarely) eloquent. He doesn’t always do or say the right things. But every once in awhile, he throws in something that sticks with me forever and I cherish those moments!
My photographic mind has these cherished moments embedded. And although there are actually quite a few of these etched memories, 3 stand out and carry me through the “rough” spots!
I met this man over 9 years ago (and married him a little over 8 years ago) and together we have 6 children (2 mine, 2 his, 2 ours). It’s been a wild ride! When we first got together, I was a VERY independent single mom. I would not receive help from anyone! I had this and the girls and I were just fine! He offered, I always refused!
But he and “his” kids were spending a lot of time at our house, and I was cooking for them a lot! That’s what I do. I love to take care of people, especially those that I love! But the grocery bill was climbing so after MANY offers, I took him up on it and “let” him pay for the groceries! He was elated! He had wanted to help. He felt like he was taking advantage of me. He wasn’t since I wasn’t allowing his help, but that’s how he felt, so I gave in.
Somehow, he and I got a day to ourselves! My girls were with friends, and his kids were with their mother (cough cough…yes, that’s what we’ll call her). So we headed to Walmart for some grocery shopping!
I did my usual budget shopping, asking him along the way if he wanted this or that. He kept saying “Whatever you want baby”. So I just did the usual shop. I really wanted him to participate but he didn’t. I finally just asked what he wanted and wasn’t going to take another no answer as an answer. I noticed him grinning as he pushed the buggy. Why wouldn’t he answer me? UGH men! Then he said it!
#1: “I’m just here to push the buggy and sign the check!”. Yes he was proud and I had to smile! Matter of fact, that was 9 years ago and it still makes me smile! It was a good day and I went home and cooked us all dinner with the groceries HE purchased!
Then, a few months later, we caught another alone moment (wish we could find one or two of these more often), and we were sitting in the field on my property in Georgia. It was raining but we didn’t care!
Please understand that I had convinced myself that I would never marry again (2-time loser was enough for me) and he knew this! But sitting there, in the rain, with this man I had grown to love with all of my heart, he dropped the bomb! And the bomb was eloquent (whether you think so or not).
#2: “Will you change your name just one more time? I promise, it’ll never happen again!” And this was the proposal that changed my life!
There have been countless “moments” since then that I could share with you, but just recently, he hit another all timer for me and this is the last (of many I hope) that sticks with me and makes me smile on a daily basis.
We’ve been hit by this damned recession. It’s been rough, but we pay the bills, we have a roof over our heads, and the kids are fed. That’s what matters.
He gets depressed that he can’t do more for us. He works hard, very hard. I appreciate it very much! So much so that since I haven’t worked (ha ha…outside of the home that is) in the past 2 years, I was feeling guilty for the pressure I was putting on him! I have skills, I am very good in my field. I could get a job. It wouldn’t be easy in this economy and I’d have to leave the babies. But I could get a job!
I broached the subject again one night. I don’t want to leave the babies and he knows that. But I brought it up and he knew I was serious.
Understand that I do EVERYTHING for this man and this family. I cook every day. I do all of the laundry. I do all of the cleaning. I pay all of the bills (with his money of course). You name it, I do it! It’s my “job” now. He shouldn’t have to do a thing while he’s here. He supports us so I should do the rest. NOT because he expects it, but because I WANT to!
So after dinner as I’m cleaning up the kitchen after cooking for my family, while I’m preparing his lunch for the next day, he walks into the kitchen, gives me a huge hug and kiss and drops the next one.
#3: “You can’t go back to work baby! Who will take care of me?”.
Yes, I’m sure he likes the servitude (LOL…it’s NOT that bad) but he doesn’t want me to go back to work because he wants to take care of us!
I love this man! I’m thankful everyday to have him in my life! I love that he calls my daughters his own. He doesn’t do any of this because he has to, he does it all because that’s who he is! He’s a good man and I love him!
We’ll keep making it through the “rough spots” and some day soon, everything will be fine again on the economic front! But I don’t put much stock in that part.
As they say, “money can’t buy you love” and that’s true! True love is all about “the moments” and if you find that, cherish it and hold on to it!
Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.
Hey y'all! I'm Christy and I'm glad you could stop by. Have a seat, grab a drink or a straight jacket, and join me as I share heart-healthy recipes, stories and life lessons about my insanely large family, and whatever else pops into my hot mess of a mind! Read More…