And I Shall Call Him Professor Poopy-Pants Bottle-Boy and Be Content!

In my house, I don’t officially win many fights.  It’s not that I can’t win them because I can (I can be a real bitch when I want to be).  I just don’t like to fight.  I don’t like turmoil.  I don’t like for others to be unhappy.
And so I shut my mouth, I bend over backwards, and I accommodate because NO ONE that I love should be unhappy EVER!
So that brings us to the “problem” at hand.  
My Bubby, now 3 (granted he’s a very young 3, but he is still 3), still wears a diaper and takes a bottle more than I care to admit.  This kid is NOT dumb by any means.  He is not delayed in any way (other than a few speech issues).  As a matter of fact, he is quite advanced.  He can count, knows all of his colors, can recognize all of his letters, and remembers things that even a camera could not.  
So why is he still in diapers?  Why does he still take that bottle on occasion (occasion…HA…who am I kidding, at least 3…again with the HA…8 times a day)?  Because his Mom is a pushover that doesn’t like turmoil (stop pointing, I know who his Mom is)!
It’s not that I haven’t tried.  I have.  I promise.  I’ve taken him off the bottle (for a whole day one time).  I even bought him a Cars 2 potty seat to go on the big boy potty (he loves that by the way, I highly  recommend that you buy one, they make great steering wheels for running around the house, handles and all)!  But he’s not buying into any of it, and here’s where HIS smarts and MY pushoveritude (shut up…yes that’s a word) come in to play!
A typical conversation regarding the potty goes something like this (again, please be kind and keep in mind that this is the youngest of 6…MY BABY…and I don’t want him to be sad):
“Mommy, I just did a big GIANT poop in my BUTT!”
“Lay down Bubby, let me change you.” (Retrieves all necessary supplies including diaper, 2 wipes, plastic baggy, and gas mask.)
“My big GIANT poop stink bad bad bad Mommy!”
“Yes it does my love, don’t you want to start going in the big boy potty?”
“No Mommy, I not big boy, I baby…I YOU baby Mommy!”
“Yes, love, you are MY baby and you will always be my baby, even if you go in the big boy potty.  And I will be proud of you!  And I will love you no matter what!”
“Mommy I don’t don’t don’t want to be big boy, I Bubby…I YOUR baby!” (and it continues)….”I don’t don’t don’t…I a baby…YOUR baby!  You love me?  I love you too Mommy!  I don’t don’t don’t want big boy potty!”
“OK Bubby, you are my baby, now just go play and don’t cry!”
Mommy: 0  Bubby: I lost count but he’s WINNING!
Same thing with the bottle, only that usually involves “I tired”, or “Ky-ee scared me”, or “I want lay down”, or….well you get his angle!  It’s maddening, it’s sickening, and the fact that I’m a pushover is not going to change any time soon (seriously, ask my big girls…they’ll tell you…it’s sad).  
So here’s how I look at it!  I’m not going to change (think old dog, new tricks…yea that never works).  He IS technically my baby!  At some point all 6 of my children took a bottle AND they wore diapers.  They all stopped, and he will too.  I don’t honestly think he’ll be showing up for Kindergarten like this (fingers crossed…send sparkles).  And I know first hand that children grow up too fast.  
My oldest is “grown” and my second is close behind!  It’s OK for us Moms to cling on to our babies for a little while.  And it’s OK that he’s smarter than me for reminding me of this fact on a daily (hourly) basis.  
So for now, I shall just resign as the best mom on the planet (like I ever freakin had THAT title) and we shall call him Professor Poopy-Pants Bottle-Boy until HE is ready to be a big boy, and I will be content.  He is my love, and he IS my baby!  And he’s only 3.  All things in good time!
So my salute to you Professor Poopy Pants!  You’ve won yet another round!  And your Mommy will always be a pushover…you’re a lucky, lucky boy (ask your big sisters, they’ll tell you)!  But I swear, if you think you’re going to your prom wearing a diaper and toting a bottle, you’re going to be one pissed off little mister.  By then, I’ll (probably) put my foot down!
About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. This is a very cute story! Your wee one is a very thoughtful little boy!

  2. No worries! He will eventually go big potty!

  3. Heidi Craig says:

    He can’t stay in diapers forever 🙂 He’ll learn eventually. Cute story.

  4. Most parents are pushovers at some point.. But when the kids really get annoying, they better watch out.. Haha. Dropping by from meaningful monday.

  5. My son Justin had his bottle when he laid down and watched TV at night. Or for that matter went to bed, but usually I remember him drinking while watching Movies at the age of three. He was a little toughy though.. When someone came over he took the bottle and hid it under his pillow, he did not want anyone to know.. He stopped on his own shortly after. Great memories!

  6. The diapers BTW were being torn off before the age of two for all three kids, they were crazy to get into big boy pants!