Sparkle Nails…Apparently I’m a Red Neck…Who Knew?

Those are my sparkle nails!  I’m diggin’ them but I’m confused as to why I’m the ONLY one that didn’t know this process existed.  Why am I shocked?  I’m always the last to know but boy…OH…boy did I make a fool out of myself my family last week. Bless their little hearts, hope no one ties us all together for their sakes. 😉  Anyway, back to ME!

We were getting ready to go out of town, nay…out of state, for my daughter’s high school graduation.  I had to get all dolled up for the event.  I rarely get out.  So it was time for a nail upgrade.  I’ve been getting them “done” lately because I’m fancy like that.  But little did I know that I could have sparkle nails.  No not just the paint…the actual acrylic.  No polish necessary.  Again, who knew?  Well, apparently everyone but ME!

I showed everyone in the salon my sparkle nails…they knew.  I walked out of the salon and over to the Valero to pump some gas.  I spouted out to everyone I saw and showed them my sparkle nails and explained the process…they knew.  I walked over to the tanning salon, stopping along the way to show everyone my sparkle nails…THEY KNEW.  

I got to the tanning salon and once again made an attempt to impress.  “Look at my sparkle nails.”  They liked them.  They really, really liked them.  OK, now we were getting somewhere.  So I explained how this was done.  This was NOT polish I said, this was the acrylic I exclaimed, this would not wear off in a couple of days I proclaimed.  Guess what?  They knew!  The one young lady that giggles at me often said “Seriously?  Have you lived in the hills or on an island for the past 10 years or something?”.  
Why yes, yes I have as a matter of fact.  Lived in the back woods of Georgia (on a hill mind you) for 10 years and then moved to an island where I lived for the past 2 years.  And then it dawned on me.  I’m a redneck.  A full-blown hillbilly redneck!  I like to fancy myself an intelligent being, and quite honestly I’m a pretty sharp tack, but when it comes to the ways of the world (apparently including sparkle nails) I’m a total Jeff Foxworthy joke.  Who knew?
When I got back to Georgia, I tried to impress with my sparkle nails.  Surely my girls wouldn’t know about this fabulous process.  Surely since I raised them, they must be as naive as their momma.  Surely I was mistaken.  They loved that my nails sparkled.  They loved that I was happy.  They love me but they weren’t surprised.  They KNEW too!  For the record though, I was wearing my sparkle shorts and they were both quite impressed with them.  

So apparently I’m a redneck.  Apparently I’m behind the times somewhat.  Apparently I’m always the last to know.  But you know what?  I’ve got sparkle nails!  I’ve got sparkle shorts!  And my redneck personality sparkles and makes those around me laugh on a daily basis.  I’ll continue to make a fool of myself and I’ll continue to be me. I like my sparkly redneck life!  Living in the dark surrounded by sparkles has its perks!

Sparkle on,

About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. @MimiBakerMN says:

    bwahahaha that’s hysterical. Ok, confession, I knew you could get your nails designed, but had no clue the nail actually CAME with the sparkle. I don’t dabble in that stuff cuz I can’t afford it and I have dude hands. =)

  2. If it makes you feel any better, the last time I got a pedicure the guy asked me if it was my first time. All I could think of was, “What am I doing that makes me look like such a rube!”

  3. clgossett says:

    See, now if that were me, I would be wondering if my feet really looked THAT bad! 😉

  4. clgossett says:

    Mimi – I have man hands too. The sparkles kind of mask that. Try it!

  5. Ah, well, yeah…there was the moment when he took the cheese grater to my feet that also gave me pause. 😉

  6. I had no idea it was possible. I never get acrylic nails of any kind, so it is a total surprise to me. Now you can say you have impressed someone. 😉

  7. clgossett says:

    LMAO…I don’t know if that is good for me or bad for you?!?!

  8. adecheine says:

    Yes mam I knew this 🙂 Now lets talk about the tanning salon, you use one in your neck of the woods LOL 🙂 I need to get my nails done so bad!!

  9. clgossett says:

    YOU KNEW TOO? Wow! Just wow. And yes, I have to supplement my tanning with the bed since I’m stuck inside so much during the week. Got a lot of the “real” stuff this weekend though. 🙂