She Said the C Word..Thankfully There Was a NO Before It!

There are words we don’t use in this house. Most of them are four letters. You know the ones. Unfortunately, I slip on occasion and B slips…well…more than that. So if you walk in to my house, you might walk in to an “F” bomb here or there (seriously B has issues). I’m an “S” dropper. It’s a bodily function, it’s really not that bad. We try though, or at least I do. I stop him all.the.time and I often substitute my craving for the superlatives. Son of a biscuit eater is common place around here. Holy moly guacamole? Pretty much the norm! But where am I going with this? Well you see, although the 4 letter words are taboo, there is one word that is not ALLOWED to be mentioned here. It’s not a 4 letter word because it’s way more powerful than that. It has 6 letters and it starts with a C. You don’t dare SAY it and you totally avoid thinking it. 
That word is hurtful. It tears lives apart and it won’t come in to this house…ever! If you don’t say it, it won’t enter. That’s my rule! It’s my house and I’m allowed to make the rules. But it entered my house this week. The word only thankfully. The thought had been there but no one dare speak it.
If you’ve followed along at all, you likely know what Bubby has gone through over the past year. I don’t share it here often but if you’re a FB junkie and we’re friends, you know. A year ago, on September 13, 2011, Bubby woke up and he couldn’t walk. Like for real couldn’t walk. We were at Chuck E. Cheese and the baby tried to crawl to the rides. Yea, he really couldn’t walk. After a worthless ER trip, we were assured that these were growing pains (my ass…that’s a 3 letter word…I can use it). Xrays and sent home with Tylenol. We were refused a referral. Everything was fine (another 4 letter word). But it wasn’t. He limped heavily for the next 9 days. He didn’t complain. He did nothing unusual. He just walked like a peg legged pirate and went on about his business, falling here and there. But these were growing pains. 
We were underinsured and broke. I didn’t know what to do (and I used a LOT of 4 letter words while calling around). But no one wanted to help. And it subsided, after 10 days, and I hoped for the best but always feared the worst. 
I work online. Of course I’ve Googled this often. Check it out. Google “causes of toddler limping”. You’ll see it and you’ll know where this is going. I had hoped that last year was a one time event. Surely he had hit his leg or hip, or he was faking it like they said (I still call bull shit on that one, no 2 year old can remember to fake something for 10 days, no matter how smart they are). And the year was uneventful with regards to Bubby’s limp. I had been wrong and I was never so glad to be wrong in my life. 
Then Monday, it presented itself again as I told you yesterday. I wasn’t going to F bomb take it anymore! This is my baby, there’s something wrong, and someone was going to listen dang it! I bet I called 15 doctor’s offices. I bet I talked to 12 rude receptionists and I bet I talked to 2 people who didn’t know what in the heck they were doing. Then call 15 worked out. A nice independent practice that stayed on the phone and listened to the year long history. They wanted to see him! This was not right and these were not growing pains. Exactly!
And so we made the pilgrimage. I tuned off from social and Bubby and I headed for our visit to this new doctor. Would he listen? He did! To all of it. To the fact that my son should always be able to walk. That he doesn’t “pee” right and that this limp is just.not.normal. So he did a host of physical tests. He saw the problems and he validated my concerns. He assured me that Bubby did not have any physical issues. There was nothing wrong with his bones nor his muscles. And so I asked, “What are you leaning towards?”. His diagnosis was simple…”limp”. But he explained that a limp can mean many things. It presents itself from many different causes and we have to figure out what the cause was. Anything from kidney, to thyroid, to “other things”. I knew what “other things” meant. But I didn’t ask. I just dutifully took my beautiful son to the lab at the hospital and watched the needles penetrate his skin and draw blood while he repeatedly said in a calm but teary voice “I want them to take that out of there now Mommy”. I cried with him while reassuring him that all was fine and we would go home soon.
We left, went to “McDonald’s Happy Meal” as promised and came home and picked Bug up from school. It was awkward here. B came home and I ran through the day’s events. As always, he remained quiet and didn’t express much emotion. He doesn’t allow it. 
I worked and I waited. Then around 4:30 pm, as B napped and the babies played, I got a call. It was the doctor’s office. I breathed, gained my composure, answered, and waited for the best. The very pleasant nurse said the blood test results were in and much to my surprise, she continued in a way that I did not expect. 
“Zachary’s blood tests came back normal, his levels are all great, and there are no signs of Cancer”. She’d said it out loud. The C word. I wanted to wash her mouth out with soap and I wanted to kiss her. They were looking for the one thing that I feared most. And she said the word. It was almost cleansing. For the record, his thyroid levels are good so that’s out the window too. We’re leaning toward kidney now because the family history is so strong. But we are leaning away from the C word. We have moved past the C word completely. 
There were 10 minutes today, when we got home, that I just sat in the floor and held my baby and cried. He thought it was because I was upset about his needle like he was. He’ll never know differently. I cried because I love him that much, I cried because I am so blessed to have his beautiful soul in my life, and to be quite honest, I cried because they broached the C word and I was afraid I would lose him. I’m thankful for today’s results. I’m hopeful that we’ll figure out what the problem is. But most of all, I’m thankful to have him in my life and that we don’t have to use the C word, or think it, anymore!
About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. Oh Christy! I am sorry your family is going through this, but am so thankful for you that it is not the “C” word! Hopefully they will be able to determine what is wrong and help Bubby! Big ((((HUGS)))) to you!

  2. OH MY! I so want to reach out and hug you!!!! I hope you can feel this virtual hug!!! It’s a big one! You are such a wonderful mommy! You are his biggest advocate and WILL get the answers that you both need! I promise to pray each day until you get an answer. Thank heavens for no C word! I am certain you are on the right track with this doctor! the answer will come soon, even if YOU have to figure it out yourself. Moms usually know the best! Keep researching and keep fighting! Sending one more BIG HUG!!!

  3. clgossett says:

    Thanks Heather! I felt it and it is much appreciated. Today is a good day. We’re smiling a lot more and playing a little harder. We all have scares as parents. I’m a worrier by nature so this one has just been a little tougher than the ones in the past. I appreciate your support.

  4. clgossett says:

    Thanks Jules! It’s all good, we have it all under control now that the dreaded word it out of the way.

  5. I feel as if I should say something, but, with you and I, there is no real need. I could just give you that look…. that silent support and you knowing how deeply I feel. I love you, you and your family…. <>

  6. Wow, Christy, I don’t have words. I wish I could hug you and cry with you and celebrate with you!! CELEBRATE <-- not there's a "C" word for ya! Love and hugs and smiles!! <3

  7. Oh, Christy! deep breath! I am so thankful this is out of the scene. Prayers for you, and your family!

  8. Melissa Rheinlander says:

    Oh my goodness!! Sending lots of sparkles and hugs!! So happy to hear that it is not the C word!!! Will be keeping Bubby in my thoughts!!

  9. Oh Christy! I’m so happy to hear it isn’t the “c” word. I share your joy and relief. No child should have to go through that awfulness and thankfully it isn’t yours!

  10. thecreativeprincess says:

    I am SO happy it is NOT the “C” word! We don’t like that word around here either. HUGE hugs to you and your precious family Christy. I am so glad you found a dr that would actually take the time and listen, so many do NOT do that now. I will keep you and Bubby in my prayers. <3

  11. Glad to hear that. I’ll be honest – I had no idea what the “C” word was. Not a clue. But you explained it, and the answer is awesome.

  12. clgossett says:

    The answer is awesome, but unfortunately we still don’t have an answer. 🙁 Although that answer is sufficient for now.

  13. clgossett says:

    Thanks Brandi! You are such a good friend!

  14. clgossett says:

    Agreed on all counts! Thanks for the support Alicia.

  15. clgossett says:

    Keep sending him sparkles. We need to figure out what’s causing these spells. They keep learning toward kidneys but blood tests showed nothing there. Still hunting the culprit!

  16. clgossett says:

    Yup, breathing and hugging a LOT these days.

  17. clgossett says:

    I know you’re always there to support me and my family! Love you!!

  18. I have goosebumps like you wouldn’t believe. I’m like Monique. I had no idea what the “c” word was until you reminded us about last year. Then I was like, “oh yah, that ‘c’ word”! I’m SO absolutely ecstatic that you got that call! Keep us updated on his status! <3

  19. Oh, Sparkly britches! (((HUGS)))) I know that cry. I’m so glad you are with a physician who is really listening and validating, most of all, acting. More (((HUGS)))!

  20. clgossett says:

    Thanks for the support Terri! You’ve been so quiet lately and I MISS YOU!

  21. clgossett says:

    Will do and thanks for stopping by and showing your support. I still get goosebumps and a sick feeling when I think of that call. That word. I guess it had to be said.

  22. I’ve been trying to come up with words that were fitting here and all I can do is pray a prayer of gratitude that it isn’t the C word. You are the sparkliest , strongest mama I know online and you amaze me.