Let me start by saying, I’m not digging Christmas this year and that is so atypical for me. I’ve barely decorated the apartment (as in…just the tree that took me forever to put up due to lack of motivation). The Elf is out but I think he’s an angry elf because I don’t do anything fun with him. He just moves from place to place nightly for the benefit of the babies.
There are no snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. No lights other than the tree. No village displays. No festive candle holders. No countdown calendar. It’s 3 days before Christmas and it isn’t beginning to look a lot like Christmas at all.
We’re having some issues with a couple of the kids (no one is sick or anything, just crazy behavior) which is causing undue stress on my marriage because we don’t always see eye to eye on how to deal with those issues. Plus, I still want to click my pink sparkly heels 3 times and be back on my island home again. I’m tired of the Stepford World and of the drama. And last night I snapped.
Well, I snapped my sparkle nails if you want to get technical. I feared I had become one of these Stepford Wives and that we were becoming a Stepford family. So I snapped the sparkles off of my fingers (man, that’s a lot of work) and then cut them down. And they’re ugly. And I’m sad about that, and about my lack of holiday spirit. I’m feeling all Grinch-ish and this does not please me.
I’m sure Christmas morning will be fine. The kids got great presents and there is sure to be laughter in my lightless and snowflakeless house, but I can’t help but feel like a sparkleless Grinch at this point.
Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you? Why have you gone away? Where is the laughter You used to bring me? Why can’t I hear music play? My world is changing, I’m rearranging, Does that mean Christmas changes too ?
Oh my sparkles, I hope this is temporary. At least one of the big girls is coming the day after Christmas so that will make me smile. I’m hoping #1 stops flaking out and joins her. I’m hoping I can find happiness in the babies’ smiles on Christmas morning when they wake up to see the many gifts that Santa will deliver. I hope the Drama Queen will “bother” to thank me for unlimited internet at her fingertips. That’s a lot of hope. I’m hoping it all comes true.
The holiday blues suck so hard. This really is a pissy pants post and I’m sorry. Thanks for indulging me if you’ve stomached my whining this long.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I hope all of your holiday wishes come true!
Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 26 to 7. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.
Hey y'all! I'm Christy and I'm glad you could stop by. Have a seat, grab a drink or a straight jacket, and join me as I share heart-healthy recipes, stories and life lessons about my insanely large family, and whatever else pops into my hot mess of a mind! Read More…