Green Juice Detox…It’s Not Easy Being Green

If you follow along at all on Instagram and/or Facebook, you know that the above photo represents what I’ve been eating for the past 4 days. Thanks to some bunny’s constant influence on my life, I decided to start a 10-day green juice detox. Most people undertake this in the hopes of losing weight. Me? I just realized that I have a lot of gunk in my trunk, and my eye, and my liver, and my gallbladder. Pretty much my whole body is a toxin. Most of us have this same issue but just “deal with it”. I decided the heartburn, the stye, and other issues were a sign that I needed to cleanse. And a good shower just doesn’t take care of your inside. And so I embarked on this journey with hesitation. Don’t get me wrong. I’m no dummy. I let my friend, Amy, start two days ahead of me and when she wasn’t dead after day 2, I knew I would be OK.
Day 1: I went out and bought a juicer and a bunch of spinach, kale, apples, and ginger. I cut everything up, juiced it to remove all of the unnecessary stuff, and drank my first glass. Things I learned on day 1:
  1. Green juice does NOT taste nearly as nasty as it looks.
  2. A little ginger goes a long way.
  3. Juicing is hard work and very time-consuming.
  4. It takes a lot of spinach to get a dime-sized drop of juice.
I feel like I had a leg up on most because I’m already a vegetarian and I don’t eat much anyway.  I could do this!
Day 2: This was a ROUGH day for me. Well, it started out fine. I wasn’t hungry. I’d grown accustomed to the juice, and I had come to realize that I needed to drink 4 glasses of this a day. But at about 4:30pm, while I was juicing my final cup for the day, I got dizzy. I mean swaying dizzy. My heart was palpitating. I felt like I was going to puke. Lessons from day 2:
  1. Juice in bulk. It takes the same amount of time no matter how much you do and you have to clean the juicer every time so make a full day’s worth of juice at once.
  2. Don’t wait too long to drink your next cup of green juice.
  3. Nothing but green juice 4 times per day makes me pee every half hour on the half hour.
Day 3 went rather well. I’d done some more research so I knew I needed to gather additional veggies for my juice. I was trying to heal this dreaded stye, build my immune system, and shed a little belly fat. I was full with my new concoction and my eye swelling had diminished by the end of the day.
Green Juice Detox
Author: 
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 10 oz
 
Ingredients
  • 1 Large Pear
  • 4 Brussels Sprouts
  • 2 Pineapple Stalks
  • 1 Carrot
  • 1 Quarter-Sized Slice of Ginger
  • 1 Packed Cup of Spinach
  • 1 Packed Cup of Kale
Instructions
  1. Cut all fruits and vegetables so that they fit into your juicer.
  2. Juice all of the ingredients into your juicer's cup.
  3. Drink up and enjoy the health benefits.
Day 3 learnings:
  1. Added brussels sprouts because they are said to have natural antibodies and help to promote the growth of new white blood cells that fight infection (think 3 month old stye here). Brussesl sprouts do not taste good in green juice.
  2. Added the carrot for the beta carotene. Carrot juice is NASTY!
  3. Pineapple really negates the taste of all of the above. I don’t particularly like pineapples or their juice but in this case, they are my BFFs.
  4. Green juice makes your shit green.
  5. I don’t usually eat junk food and I’m never really hungry. All of a sudden I want potato chips and hos hos…all the time!

 

So I’m on day 4 now and I’ve been doing good. My stye is reduced to a little bump on my outer eyelid that I anticipate will be gone by the end of the week (which means *squee* my permanent eyeliner is back on). My stomach is flat which is pretty impressive for a 40-something mother of 4 large children, all by c-section. My heartburn is ridiculously manageable. But there has been a bad side effect for me.

Remember when I said that most people do this in the hopes of losing weight? Well, that was never my intention because I don’t need to lose weight. I figured it wouldn’t happen because I already don’t eat much and the whole vegan living thing. BUT today I put on my size 0 skinny jeans and I needed a belt. If I walked without the belt, they fell down. UT OH! I don’t own a scale so I’m not sure of the weight loss. But I slipped and I ate a salad. In my defense, I used spinach instead of lettuce and had all kinds of green veggies on it. No croutons and all that mess. Just salad. But I feel guilty and fat. I’ll have one more power green juice tonight and go back to my detox as usual tomorrow.
Bottoms up! Six more days to go! As a side note, I should admit right now, my plan is to stay on the detox as it is intended for the rest of the duration of this 10-day adventure. But if my pants fall off again, I’ll have to eat another salad. I’m thinking that very thin people might need to do this in more moderation. There isn’t much in our bodies to pull from. I’m going to up it to 5-6 glasses of green juice starting tomorrow and fingers crossed, that will do it. I really do feel like it’s cleansing my system and the stye is finally going away. That’s something right?! Stay tuned for updates. I’ll be sure to come back and whine share my progress again before it’s all over!
About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 27 to 8. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. So many thoughts. First of all…do you want to jump off a bridge? It’ll be fun! (That joke will NEVER get old.)
    Secondly, I want pineapple juice in mine so bad but I’m trying to resist the urge to up my fruit content.
    Thirdly, the idea of size 0 pants falling off an adult woman doesn’t even compute. Seriously. Does not computer.
    Fourthly, drinking vegan green juice out of a steakhouse glass makes me giggle.

  2. clgossett says:

    I’ve been waiting on the side of the bridge for you, but you haven’t shown up. I can’t jump without you.
    I had to add the pineapple. HAD to. After I added the brussel sprouts, there was no other option.
    But I ate a salad……
    Me too…me too. I have to make myself giggle through this whole thing. I found that incredibly fitting.

  3. My wife does these a few times a year, usually when there’s fresh produce available since you need so much of it. I’ve done them with her a few times. The longest i’ve done is 7 days. She usually does almost 2 weeks. I’ve never felt better in my life than I did after juicing for a week. But at first I got a little sick. Some people get violently sick, puking, fever, etc. I guess it’s because the toxins in your body that are trapped in your liver and fat are suddenly in your blood stream again before they get purged. It makes you sick. After the first time I juiced the color started to return to my hair, which is almost completely gray. I guess that’s common. Sounded crazy to me, but it happened. Also, apparently people with cancer have gone into complete remission from juicing. I had a hard time with it. I really like to eat. But I definitely can see where it will get the shit out of your system and make you healthy.

  4. clgossett says:

    That’s good to hear Dave. My plan is to do this once a quarter from here on out. Provided I don’t die this time that is. Kidding. The stye healing has me sold and my skin feels amazing. I had never heard about the hair though. Very interesting.

  5. Bwahahaha…I just realized I said Does not computer instead of does not compute. I’m kale drunk.

  6. clgossett says:

    It’s OK. I’m spinach drunk. The salad put me over the edge. Speaking of edges…or ledges…it’s windy here on the bridge.

  7. I *almost* wish I could talk myself into this…I’m afraid I might need 27 glasses per day though. 🙁

  8. clgossett says:

    You could do it. It’s all in your mind and you’ve been sticking with the other program. The detox could help jump start the new healthier you that you’ve been striving to achieve.

  9. Melissa Rheinlander says:

    I love that you let Amy start a few days before you just to make sure it didn’t kill you 😉

  10. thecreativeprincess says:

    I agree with Christy, you can totally do it! I am getting ready to start, want to start with me?

  11. clgossett says:

    Yes…it’s so much easier with a buddy. Even a virtual buddy! 🙂

  12. clgossett says:

    Bwahahaha…she didn’t die. She was like my lab rat! 😉

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