Dear Comcast: Oh How I Hate You…Let Me Count the Ways

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Yes, now you have my account number. That’s more than Comcast has apparently. I have to verify it at least a ga-zillion times for each phone call I make, with every transfer…and I’m annoyed. They ask my name, my address, my account number, my social security number, my first born (OK, not really that but I did tell them her name on my last phone call). I’m tired of Comcast and I refuse to keep this to myself any longer. 

This customer service is second to ALL. They suck so hard it’s ridiculous. I press 1 for English and I get everything but. Seriously I cannot understand these people. And after at least a half an hour on the phone with someone that tells me they can “prowide” me with the right information, I get elevated. 

To what you might ask? I ask myself the same thing. To someone with a 5th grade education that can’t seem to understand simple logic and doesn’t know the first thing about customer service. 

Here’s the deal. We moved. You transfer service, you bill me, all is right in the world. NOT WITH COMCAST! Here’s how it really goes with them. We move. I call to transfer service. Pretty simple no?

NOPE. I pay my January bill from the last address in February. Seems right I suppose. I’m told my February bill will be normal. Bill comes in double the normal bill. I’m willing to pay it and look online. I have a zero balance. Hmmm…something’s amiss. I call. I’m told that I don’t owe a bill for February because of the transfer and my March bill will be higher but not ridiculously so. Prepay, post pay, it will all work out and my bill will be about normal plus $50 or so. Cool! Got it!

My balance online is still ZERO to this minute. But today I got my paper bill. $397. A past due balance of $131.03. Past due? Seriously? How can you past due on zero? And charge me a fee at that?

Well, apparently you can do whatever you want if you’re Comcast. And so they did. And they stand behind it in fact. 

Four separate phone calls today (Necessary because the fist one didn’t understand me, apparently I speak English and she does not. Second hung up on me because I truly believe he had no clue. Third, I hung up on because I couldn’t understand a word he said. Fourth because this moron went too far and now I’m blasting Comcast because of it.).

Here’s how it played out. I got billed in February, after paying my January bill in full on 02/15 according to the moron. Odd. I checked online and my balance was ZERO. Curiouser and curiouser. I called. No Mrs. Gossett, you owe nothing this month. It has to do with the transfer and prorating and the like. You’ll receive a bill in March that will be higher than normal. Pay that. 

Ummmm…OK.

Fast forward to this morning. I was paying bills. Seemed odd that I still haven’t been billed by Comcast. I check. Balance is ZERO. Check the mail this evening and I have a hefty bill of $397 and $131.03 of that is past due so I have to pay a late fee of $10. NICE!

WTF? And the calls commence. Apparently, I’m a deadbeat that doesn’t pay my bills and even though they have a payment received on 2/15/13 for January, I haven’t paid my bill for January, February, and March. I’m confused. But the dude was sure to assure me that my confusion could be waived as long as I paid the late fee. I don’t know his name because he refused to tell me. Seriously by law, he had to tell me. I’m pretty certain he didn’t know his own name. He wasn’t very bright. He couldn’t “prowide” me with the information I needed. He just knew I needed to pay the $297 since I haven’t paid them since February. 

He told me I didn’t understand logic. Logically, my bill is roughly $140 a month. I paid in November, December, January, and February according to the moron. So how is my bill now $397 (not really divisible by the $140 thing right?) with $131.03 late resulting in a late fee? I’m not sure either. I need to think past the real logic and use Comcast logic. 

Comcast logic = Customer paid bill + Comcast told customer a lie = We charge customer (that pays our bills) a late fee and tell them to take it up the rear or move on. 

Customer service FAIL! And the last words he said to me? You’re still confused. You bet your ass I am! I’m confused that any one of you has a job with the unemployment rate the way it is. 

If you doubt my honest, unsolicited review of Comcast, Google BBB reports on this company. Pitiful. How can they not shut this monopoly down? I thought that monopolies went all illegal in the 80’s and stuff. 

Comcast…I hate you. And I’m not alone. You need to die a slow hard death. And the longer it takes you, the higher the late fees we’ll charge you. Customer guarantee!
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About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 26 to 7. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. I am so sorry you went through this! That is true customer service fail! How could they tell you that you didn’t understand logic and that you are confused! I am fuming for you!

  2. Comcast are IDIOTS!!!! They decided to up our bill and “prorate” it because our special ended in the middle of a billing cycle. Oh and did I mention they didn’t realize it had ended until a month later so they WENT BACK and charged us…we ended up with a $400 bill from them (for cable and internet only!) Needless to say we told them to shut us off and I refuse to pay the bill. My credit already sucks so I’m letting it go.

  3. Comcast claims we disconnected service back in October when all we did was tell them to change the modem we’re using to ours and we’d send them theirs back. We’ve had FREE internet since then haha! I tried calling to rectify the situation but they told me since the account wasn’t in my name (it’s in my husband’s and he was at work) that I couldn’t do anything. Their loss haha!

  4. They did the same thing to us and I hate them too. They have the worst customer service and they lie constantly.

  5. I never thought I was alone in my growing, sometimes red-hot and furious, frustration with Comcast and I see that I am not mistaken. If I were able, I would have strangled my Comcast tower many, many moons ago! My very best wishes for another option for you soon – a provider who actually delivers and whose accounting system is as smart as a 5th grader 😉

  6. It’s so sad, I laughed all the way through your rant – appropriate and pretty tempered under the circumstances. We bought a home in Park City and I tried to “work” with Comcast. The number of wasted hours on the phone with ultimately NO RESULT finally prompted me to cancel it all with them. I, of course, had to return the equipment to their local store which was closed the first two times I went there even though their posted hours indicated they should’ve been open.

    I switch to Dish. Slightly better, at first. BUT, my bundle with Internet means they use an outside vendor to do the Internet for them. From DAY ONE, it is inconsistent. Indiscriminately the line/internet goes dead. I unplug the modem, plug it back in, and usually it then works. Not OKAY.

    Calls and calls later and after a new modem is sent that still does the same thing, they tell me it MUST be the wiring in my home. I KNOW it’s not but I agree to HIRE an electrician to check the lines. The electrician comes and my lines are JUST FINE.

    I’ve arranged for another Internet provider that is specifically just that – an Internet provider – to set me up this coming week. Then, I will call Dish and find out how I’m to return their two modems and CANCEL the Internet part of my service.

    I dread that call and the B.S. that they’ll tell me, the excuses they’ll give, and the extra charges I’ll have to fight and the PainInTheA** I’ll probably have to go through to return their modems. Stay tuned – I plan a big column on this. The last time I did one – with Time Warner – I got a call the day it was published from their head office. I spoke with an English-speaking college-educated adult. They fixed my problem and told me that they just found a new lower rate for my services. What a lovely coincidence?

    Time-Warner has been perfect ever since. Is this the ONLY way we can get respectable customer service? And, what about those who don’t have a large enough “platform” to get their attention? You know the answer…they’re screwed!

  7. Comcast definitely needs to stop outsourcing their customer service to India.

  8. You inspired me to write my version of this Tech Hell with both Comcast AND Dish:

    http://www.brucesallan.com/2013/03/16/social-media-social-good-why-cant-dish-and-the-others-work-like-a-toaster/#more-14035

  9. Totally agree. Loved your post. Hate Comcast and their “bi-lingual”, sorry, NON-lingual employees. FAIL Big Time!

  10. clgossett says:

    Glad I’m not alone. Thanks!

  11. clgossett says:

    And every other country. Oh my…I only understood one of the 4 people I talked to this time and he only spoke asshole.

  12. clgossett says:

    So ridiculous Bruce! I just hopped over and read your post. Funny stuff. Of course I commented and will share.

  13. clgossett says:

    Thanks for the well wishes. The hunt begins tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed and send sparkles.

  14. clgossett says:

    And they say that every other customer, besides me, is 100% satisfied. Odd isn’t it?

  15. clgossett says:

    This. Is. Awesome! 🙂

  16. clgossett says:

    I do believe it’s standard practice for them. They are a very unethical company and I hate that I’ve supported them for so many years because there aren’t a lot of options in my area.

  17. clgossett says:

    Oh, my friend, surely you are as confused as I am. The customer is always wrong…according to Comcast.

  18. Your welcome! Love your site and daily posts! 🙂

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