Dudes…I’m Not THAT Mom! But It’s Not My Fault…NickMom Says So!

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This #MotherFunny tale is an attempt at me trying to make myself feel better, as a Mom, as part of a compensated post by Collective Bias® through their Social Fabric® Community. Thanks to Nickelodeon’s NickMom, I’m able to purge my Mom Guilt here and have a good laugh at the expense of myself. Hope you’ll join me.
THAT Mom. You know the type. She’s got her crap together and it shows through her kids. The kids are always dressed in coordinating outfits for school or play. Their hair is brushed. They’re always happy. They absolutely adore each other…all.the.time. And they are SO well behaved. 

It’s obviously because Mom’s got it all together. Obviously. She’s dressed to the nines when she shows up to drop them off at school. Her hair and makeup are done. She’s wearing heels for goodness sake. These well-bathed, well-groomed, well-mannered children who have already eaten a full home cooked breakfast are a direct reflection on her parenting skills. 

At a glance, and in pictures, I often look like THAT Mom. But dudes…I am totally NOT that Mom.
Yea, this is the real deal. My kids hate for their clothes to match. They fuss constantly. One whines all the time, the other is just mean as a snake a little difficult and sassy. And this might be a reflection on my parenting (or it could be totally them and I’m going with that).

It’s obviously because Mom’s got it all together. Obviously. I mean, I’m dressed in shorts and a tank top (the ones I wore to bed) when I show up to drop Bug off at school. My hair’s pulled back in a pony tail and I slap some eyeliner and mascara on. I even wear flip flops for goodness sake. Bubby sports his jammies. And my well-bathed (most of the time) Bug allows me to rake a brush through brush her hair and put it up every morning and slap a bow on there (OK, not really a bow…one of those headbands with a bow glued to it…that totally counts). They generally get a sit down breakfast first, but more often than not, I’m grabbing my coffee and handing them a fruit bar and juice drink as we run out the door. Hey, Bug makes it to school on time, she’s presentable, and she learns. Give that to me alright?

Then the day goes on. I work from home and I work a LOT. I take breaks to play with Bubby. I put lunch on the table, then work. I tidy up around the house, more work. Sometimes I even shower. Then more work and off to pick up Bug. It’s a charmed life. For the record, we’re always usually more presentable on the second trip to the school for the day. Come home, cook up a fabulous meal, work, laundry, work, homework, work, clean up the kitchen, work, bathe the kids (most of the time), work, put the babies in bed (seriously…that generally means the couch), tuck B in bed, then back to work. All the while throughout the day, I’m getting text messages or phone calls from the older kids asking me what to do about this or that. Again, it’s a charmed life. 

What does this say about me as a parent? About my life skills in general? Well I found out the other night while I was actually taking a break from work and decided to visit The NickMom Website because sometimes you just have to laugh about your life, at yourself, about being a Mom, and no one can make you laugh harder at yourself than another Mom. I looked through the site and found myself relaxing, and laughing, and realizing it’s OK to not be that Mom. Then I stumbled across this and realized what kind of Mom I really am.
That’s seriously funny stuff because I know someone in every single pair of those shoes, and it’s totally true. But me? Where do I fit in? I’m none of those. 
You see, I have a flip flop obsession. This is honestly only about 1/3 of my collection, maybe less. Why do I have this obsession? Because 1) I’m lazy, I’ve been tying children’s shoes for them for 24 years now, I’m not tying my own; 2) I hate shoes; 3) Apparently if the above chart is right, I’m even worse than the “thong sandal mom”. I’m the bottom of the barrel. OK, I like to look at it as low maintenance. I have a hectic life. I’m the Mom of 6 kids from the ages of 24 down to 4. I deserve to indulge on the simple things in life. All Moms do. 
So what did I learn from all of this and what do I want you to take away? I don’t have to be THAT Mom and neither do you. Our kids are OK, even if they have messy hair from time to time and their clothes don’t match. They eat, they bathe, they know we love them. Why do we have to be perfect? I don’t even like soccer. Why would I want to be that Mom? Geez. Let’s agree to take a break every day, at least once, after the kids go to bed. Kick back, put on your favorite shoes, grab your beverage of choice (seriously, if the 2 match, you’ll be amazed at how accomplished you feel), and tune into NickMom for a good laugh. 

You can also follow NickMom on Twitter and like them on Facebook for even more laughs, or snorts in my case. You’re a Mom, you work hard, you deserve a break. Let these #MotherFunny Moms make YOU snort for a change!
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About Christy

Christy Gossett, managing editor of SoFabFood and creator of the healthy living blog, Insanity Is Not An Option, is a WAHM of 6 kids ranging in age from 26 to 7. She enjoys sharing her heart-healthy, low sodium recipes to help others with dietary restrictions enjoy a flavorful life while maintaining a healthy diet.

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  1. flip flops are my shoe of choice too. and when it gets cold out I opt or slippers…even outside the house YUP

  2. Oh…so many flip flops. I swear, I’m working on weening myself off.

  3. Melissa Lawler says:

    Hey, I have the same polish on my toes! Those perfect moms… They are miserable. They appear perfect on the outside so they can fool the world.

  4. clgossett says:

    I agree. I was a lot like that with the older kids and I’ve relaxed a lot with the babies and it’s a much happier existence.

  5. clgossett says:

    I will never and if you do, we can no longer be friends. 😉

  6. clgossett says:

    Well luckily, it doesn’t get that cold here in Galveston for very long during the year so I don’t have to resort to that (often).

  7. bigguysmama says:

    I’m not now, nor will I ever be “that” mom! You know those moms are faking it, just in their own way. As for my shoes, I would prefer to never wear them and I’m now living in a more flip flop friendly state, BUT my shoes are just as ADD as me. I actually just saw NickMom last night when my boys were going to bed. Pretty funny!

  8. None of us has to be “that” mom! I’m surely not! Love your flip flop collection. And I totally noticed the flip flop candle too 😉 I’m a flip flop kind of girl in the summertime and I hate shoes too! Oh, and socks btw :p

  9. clgossett says:

    We have matching flip flops too. I made sure of that! And who would want to be THAT mom anyway, right?

  10. Haha, love it! Yes, we totally will be! Hopefully we’ll meet one day soon!

  11. Hah! I spend my ENTIRE summer in flip flops! I only put on real shoes to work out or when the weather gets too cold for my toes! My outfit to take my son to school in the am sounds an awful lot like yours! In the winter I change over to sweatpants and a sweatshirt, with a pair of boots here in Ohio:-)

  12. clgossett says:

    OK, so ha! I’m learning that THAT mom is the freak, not me. YAY for mommies everywhere that don’t feel like putting on a show and would rather just raise their kids. 🙂

  13. Summer Len Davis says:

    OH Christy. I wish I had your flip flop collection. Can you share? If you give me 4 flops, I could melt them together to make a pair just big enough for my boats. Er . . . feet. I have one pair of flip flops. They’re tan Rainbows. They cost $55. I basically spent my entire flip flop budget on one pair. But they go with everything! It’s really good to know that I’m not the only imperfect parent out there. Thanks for being such a great role model *snort*

    OH yeah – #client

  14. clgossett says:

    OK, so the majority of my pairs of flops cost like $3 a set. That makes me a wise shopper. Which makes me wise in general. Give me this. I need a bone (or another pair of flops) these days. Glad to be a role model, even in a “snort” kind of way. 😉

  15. Summer Len Davis says:

    I need to check out the $3 sort of flip flops. Maybe I could glitter or bejewel them up or something? And I agree, you do need a bone. GO get on that.

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