When Your Baby Girl Turns 11…Let Her Shine!

This little girl of mine, I’m gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it’s a big deal. I’m just trying to figure out where the time went. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

There’s no real reason for writing this post, I guess. Maybe it’s just for me. Maybe it’s for my Bug some day. I don’t know, but I’m drawn to write it. Bump SEO, bump pageviews, forget about who even reads it at all. This is about my youngest baby girl and I. You see, it’s a bumpy road with her and I. It always has been. I wanted her more than life itself when I conceived her, yet as the years go by, I’ve wondered what in the HECK I was thinking when I made the conscious decision to have another child when I did. All in all, I wouldn’t change a thing, in fact. Today, this baby girl turns 11 years old and I’m just happy (more times than not) to just let her shine and call her mine.

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

See, my baby girl hit the streets running, figuratively (OK it would have been literally if she could have run then, but let’s go with figuratively here) on September 14, 2006. She was the youngest of five children and the apple of all of our eyes (except baby girl number three, she was not entirely sold). She was THE princess from day one and I worshipped her. Literally. She was perfect in every way. Still is in her own right!

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

Once this “baby” found her way into the world…watch out. She owned it; and us. Sassy, frustrating, the very bane of my existence at times, the biggest talker you’ve ever met, and just so much of a handful at times, I wonder how I make it from day to day. But I see her beauty (even on her bad days) on the outside, but more importantly from within. She might be a hot mess at times, but she’ll do big things some day…mark my words!

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

Kylee can be difficult, dramatic, and sassy at times. So difficult. So dramatic. SO SASSY. Sometimes (oh who am I kidding, a lot of the time) she makes me want to pull my hair out. Heck, I think she pulls my hair out when I sleep!

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

She’s silly and adventurous!

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

And she’s (almost) always fun. Almost. But above all else…she’s 11 today and that’s all that matters to her. Did you know that officially, without question, she can go up to all of the chain restaurant buffets by herself…without me…to get her own food now? The signs all say so and she was quick to remind me this morning. I see a lot of buffets in our future (and a lot of Airborne in mine so I can handle the buffets since I still have to walk Bubby up there!).

All in all…Bug might drive me insane. I might spend a whole lot of time in the school office for her. She may be my biggest challenge in life…for real. The very bane of my existence? Perhaps. But that smile. The sheer joy and love she feels and exudes when she’s feeling her best? It’s amazingly infectious and I love it!

This little girl of mine, I'm gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it's a big deal. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

You see, when Bug smiles…when she really, really smiles and means it…to say she lights up a room is a gross understatement. It’s a complete and total illumination. An amazing aura like nothing you’ve experienced. It’s nothing short of magical! My unicorn (the one with the black horn most days) turns 11 today. I love her. I’m proud of her. She drives me crazy, but I just can’t wait to watch her change the world!

If you see this nugget today, wish her a happy 11th birthday. She’s pretty impressive with her drive-her-mom-crazy, talks-too-much, lives-on-the-edge, she’ll-do-amazing-things self. She deserves a happy birthday! Although she drives me nuts, I’ve resigned to let her shine…this little Bug of mine.

Happy birthday, baby girl! I love you more than the sky is blue. This life? It’s tough, but you’ve got this. You’ll rule it in fact! All my love forever and always (yes, even when we fight), Mommy!

The Birthday Jinx: On This Day In History

On this day in history, April 19th, a lot of horrific events have happened over the years. Events no one wants to associate with celebration, certainly not this birthday jinx. Tragic events. If you share a birthday with this historically jinxed day, do you celebrate, or hide and hope that nothing else bad happens?

The Birthday Jinx #ThisIs49

Fact, today is my birthday. I’ve been somewhat in hiding all day trying to avoid the birthday jinx. This has nothing (OK, almost nothing) to do with my age. I don’t want the birthday jinx to hit again. On this day in history, April 19th, a lot of horrific stuff has happens and I’d like to skip that this year. So, I’m skipping my birthday and I hope everyone can respect that in light of all of the bad shit that happens in the world these days.

Dramatic?

Not really. Let’s review.

  • April 19, 1775 – It was the Shot Heard Round the World and that didn’t really work out well. War, in my humble opinion, never does. (BUT, that was a long time ago; it was a one time thing, and I wasn’t alive. It has no bearing on present day life. Right? WRONG.)
  • April 19, 1993 – The FBI’s siege on the Waco Compound leaves 76 dead. I was at work, getting ready to celebrate.
  • April 19, 1995 – The Oklahoma City Bombing kills 168 people, including children. Way too many children. I was sitting at a tanning salon waiting to get my tan on before heading out to celebrate.
  • April 20, 1999 (OK, it’s too close not to mention) – A mass shooting at Columbine High School leaves 15 dead. I was hung over from celebrating the night before.

So, here’s the thing. Other than the first one (come’on, I’m not that old), I’ve lived through these events. On my birthday. I’m not trying to make this, the mass loss of life, about me. All I’m trying to say is that maybe if we skip this day, my annual day of celebration, nothing bad will happen. Let’s skip today. Let’s skip the violence and ugliness in the world. At least for one day; let’s make today that day so that we can possibly break the chain. It’s a bad day in history that I don’t care to celebrate.

So, I removed my birthday from Facebook. I removed it from my calendar. We aren’t celebrating. Instead, we’ll remember the many loses of life that happened, horrifically and needlessly, on this day in history, and we’ll celebrate the lives they lived instead.

Not your typical “Happy Birthday to Me” post, but this is not your typical day in history. Today, let’s celebrate being the change and do something about this fearful world we live in for our children’s sakes, shall we?

Anniversaries, Love, and Realizations…I’m Where I’m Supposed to Be.

anniversary flowers with text
Do you remember the minute you fell in love? The minute you knew HE was the one? I do. It was one day in 2003. I’d been in “love” before. But it wasn’t real love. It didn’t have staying power. It was fleeting and those relationships didn’t last. Not even the one that produced 2 beautiful children. It wasn’t “real”.

I met B in 2002 and it was meant to be a fling. He was 11 years my junior. He had his kids, I had mine. We just wanted a companion that didn’t want anything lasting. Just a break from reality. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. He wasn’t supposed to tell me that. I felt it then, but I didn’t admit it. That’s not what we were about.

But I remember the day I admitted it freely and willingly like it was yesterday. Something in the way the sun shone on him, something in the way his eyes twinkled, something in the way he made me rethink love. It was that day that I felt a forever love, a love that would withstand the troubles and trials in life, the love that would withstand the test of time. No matter what.

That “no matter what” has been truly tested over the past 12 years. He’s tested it way more than I have. But the day I decided to truly “love” him, I decided that this time, I’d learn true love, understanding, and the hardest part of all, forgiveness. Because this man? He was worth it.

anniversary flowers bright

And he is. Despite our troubles, this man is the man I want (NEED) to spend the rest of my life with. We just recently celebrated 11 years of marriage, but I see it more as celebrating 11 years of staying power. Marriage, relationships, are rough. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is either lying to you, or lying to themselves. There are always problems when you decide to spend the rest of your life with just one person. Always. But when you decide to love, accept, and occasionally forgive? That’s when you can find true happiness. It’s work!

anniversary flowers overhead
Sometimes, when you find the “one”, there’s occasional pain. But when you actually do find the “ONE”, there’s always so much more pleasure than pain so it’s totally worth it. It’s worth the “work” involved in making a real relationship, in fostering that forever love. Nothing is easy in life. NOTHING. If you have staying power, if you find the ONE, stick it out. Work on it. Continue to work on it each and every day. Don’t ever forget why you fell in love. Don’t ever forget the moment that brought you to this point. Don’t ever forget to tell the one you love how much you love and appreciate them. Just keep working.

Happiness is possible and I’ve found happiness through the occasional trials and tribulations. I’ve also found that all of this “work” is totally worthwhile. I love being in love and I love the life I’m living. It’s not all work so I’m happy to put in the time to enjoy the roses on any given Tuesday, the unspoken “looks”, and the memories we’re making while we constantly “work” on us.

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. And quite honestly, “The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me.”.