My Baby Girl Is Broken and I Can’t Fix Her Alone

learning disabilities, parenting, discipline

A while back I made a bold stand and explained that my baby girl was different. She’s a societal square peg being shoved into a round hole. I stand by that. She doesn’t fit any mold and I celebrate her uniqueness and I support her no matter what. She’s my baby. That’s my job. I love her unconditionally, and I always will. But lately, she’s been trying that unconditional love theory. She’s been trying it for 6 years in fact and I’m beginning to think that I can’t tackle these issues alone.

She’s a bright girl. She was in the GT (gifted and talented) program at school until earlier this year when I pulled her and moved her to a different school. She’s no dummy. At. All. She’s intelligent, beautiful, and she amazes me every day. But she’s broken and I’m afraid I can’t fix her alone.

I have to be honest with you because honesty is important to me. At times, she’s just bad. She doesn’t mean to be. I know she doesn’t. But she pitches fits (like frightening fits), she talks back, she’s always right, she’s mean to her brother and I (think bully here), and she steals. The stealing is what has me concerned about her broken state because now she’s endangering herself and it scares me. She’s been stealing from our house ever since she learned this “trade” from her half sister 2 years ago when she lived with us. She steals little trinkets, unimportant stuff, but she also steals food.

She’s not hungry. She gets breakfast at home before school, sometimes she eats a second breakfast at school, then a snack and lunch I pack for her at school, a snack when she gets home, then dinner. She’s not hungry, yet she steals food. I buy snack cakes and fruit snacks weekly to put in their lunches. One sweet snack per day. That’s what they get. But the other night, my baby girl ate a whole pack of oatmeal creme pies while we slept, at 2:00 am I would guess. She’s eaten B’s Atkins Bars. She’s downed whole boxes of fruit snacks. I’m worried what she will steal and eat next.

When you ask her what, WHY, she just looks at you and rolls her eyes, and says nothing. She knows it’s wrong, but she continues to do it. What’s next? What will she steal that will hurt her? A mother’s worst fear. And so I’ve moved on to the next phase. I don’t want to, will not, shove her in that round hole, but I will protect her no matter what.

We went to the counselor at school, that was a bust. I talked to a counselor that was recommended by the school. That didn’t go well in my head. They recommended the “m” word until we can break through. Medication. I’ve thought about it a lot. I don’t want to medicate her, but I don’t want her to hurt herself sometime while I’m in the bathroom trying to pee, while I’m outside with the dog, while I try to sleep my 4 hours per night. I want her safe. So I’m considering the “m” word and although B doesn’t want it, he said he won’t fight. That’s his baby girl, he wants her safe, he acknowledges the problems.

I ran this by my closest friends the other day and one of them said something that hit home. “She’s sick and you’re taking her to the doctor to get better. Don’t worry about what type of sick or type of doctor.” And she was right. My baby is broken and she needs to get well.

I’m not talking about any kind of spectrum here. She’s not on any spectrum. She’s brilliant when she puts her mind to it, but she’s sick and she needs to get well. Wish us well. Pray for us if that’s what you do. Know that I know that medication is NOT the answer to everything. Know that I KNOW that my square peg should be allowed to be different. But know that I KNOW that my square peg has hit a road block and she’s endangering herself. KNOW that my only intention is trying to figure out how to fix my baby so that she can be the healthy square peg she was meant to be. And know that I KNOW she, we, will get through this phase and I still think (KNOW) she will make a difference in this world.

She’s amazing, she’s beautiful, she’s different, and right now…she’s broken. We’ll fix this. I know we’ll fix this.

Encourage Your Daughter to Read and Succeed with Go! Go! Sports Girls

Just so we’re clear, I did receive product from Go! Go! Sports Girls to facilitate this post, but all opinions, ideas, and photos are entirely my own and I’m a firm believer in the message behind this product.

presents for girls, dolls, books, empowering daughters

Let’s just put this out there, I’m a girl, I have four girls of my own, and I know that girls are “pretty”. We’re supposed to be “pretty”. That’s all, right? Not in this house. Sure, pretty is a word we use, but we don’t base our existence on the fact that we’re pretty. Pretty isn’t the be all, end all of anything. Girls are strong. Girls are smart. Girls can and should be successful in life. But often that message is lost with our young girls because of the messaging out there these days. Even the toys just tell our daughters that pretty is enough. It’s not and that’s where Go! Go! Sports Girls come in.

doll and book set bright

Dream Big Toy Company™ created Go! Go! Sports Girls™ as a fun and educational way to promote self-appreciation and the benefits of daily exercise, healthy eating and sleeping habits, self-esteem, and overall healthy life-skills for girls ages 3-12. Go! Go! Sports Girls™ are age and size appropriate. They do not encourage an older or overly mature image. The image is innocent with a subtle yet strong message – appreciate and be true to yourself! The dolls are currently available at retailers nationwide as well as through their online store.

collect all 6 bright

Since my Bug loves to swim, obviously we chose Swimming Suzi and Bug loves the story and the message. It empowers her to use her love of swimming to succeed in life. Yes, I said succeed in life. The books share how your daughter can use her love of swimming, or sports in general, to find strengths in themselves that they can take with them into adulthood to help them succeed. Pretty cool, right? So if your daughter loves soccer, gymnastics, dance, running, cheerleading, or obviously swimming, they’ve got a gift set for you too! There hasn’t been a better toy to empower girls since my older girls were little (in my humble opinion) than this fun doll and book gift set.

bug reading to suzi bright

I listened to Bug read to Suzi earlier and I was impressed with her love of reading, the progress she’s made in the reading arena, and the message this book, this product, had to offer. If you want to encourage your daughters to read, to succeed in life, this is definitely a product you’ll want to check out. It’s Bug approved and that should mean something since my hot mess of a holy-jean-wearing baby doesn’t approve of much.

Dear Society, Kylee is NEVER Going to Fit in Your Round Hole and It’s OK!

difficult child, parenting, advanced child, school difficulties

Dear school teachers, dear school admins, dear society, I get it. She drives me crazy too. But Kylee, my Bug, is never going to fit in your round holes. Don’t force her to conform. She can’t. Although it pains me, I won’t make her. She’s not built like everyone else and that’s what makes her unique. She’s clever, she’s cunning, but she’s not cut from the same cloth that you are. Don’t make her think that she’s anything less because she’s different. She’s not less. She’s different.

Don’t get me wrong, when she’s awake, when she’s making me doubt my parenting skills, I get frustrated too. But then I step back and really look at her. I look deeply into those big blue, knowing, defiant eyes, and I see the spark. When I watch her peacefully sleep, I see her “normal”. And it’s in those moments that I know that my square peg is anything but less. She’s more. More than you’ll ever know because you don’t give her a chance. Give her rote activities and she won’t do well. Challenge her creative side and you’ll surely see her shine. No, she’ll never fit your round hole, but her square peg of a self might just make a difference in this world if you’ll just let her never-easy-to-deal-with self shine. Let my baby shine. Let her be the difficult little thing that she is now because there is amazement in those defiant eyes. They defy the world because the world doesn’t accept the square pegs. Many a square peg has created light, the telephone, and flight. Embrace the square pegs.

Stop worrying about your state’s scores and start worrying about our children. For the first 3 years of her school career, she was in advanced classes. I pulled her. She started to struggle. You know why she struggled? Because she was bored with your state standards. She was bored with your lessons. She was bored with your tests. She was tired of being a square peg that was being shoved into your round holes. I grew tired of it too.

I get it. You’re doing your job. You’re very kind. You want my daughter to conform, to be round. But if you sit down and talk to her, I mean really talk, you’ll understand that you’re making a grievous error. She’s difficult, I know, and I apologize for that. I do mandate that she conforms on a behavioral basis and you’ve all confirmed that she does. But I will not force her to conform just for the sake of testing. I embrace her square personality and I defy you to shove her in your round hole.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say, with this ridiculously long rant, is that although she frustrates me too, I “get” her. I once was that square peg being shoved in that round hole. I didn’t fit. I probably never will. In fact, I don’t want to. I love my rough, square edges, and I love hers. Leave her alone. Let her be different. Different is good. Different is not less. Different is more. She’s more than you acknowledge. She’s more. She’ll always be more. Different. Be frustrated, be annoyed, be angry even, it’s OK. But remember that “different” leads to great things. She’ll be great if we just foster her right to be different. She’s not hurting you, don’t hurt her. Don’t shove her in that round hole. Just don’t.