Hate Begets Hate: Let’s Stop the Cycle Now

Hate begets hate, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

hate begets hate

I’m about to step out of my comfort zone. I don’t “do” politics. I don’t discuss ugly things. It’s about time I discuss both of those things, and so I shall. I have opinions that I keep to myself, because I should. While I watch the world around me shatter, I keep my mouth shut. Because I should. But I have six children, and I really should not keep my mouth shut anymore because their future depends on me. On my opinions. On my actions. And so tonight, I step out of my comfort zone, and I speak my mind.

Anger is the route of all evil. Not guns. Not bombs. Not the angry acts of terrorists. Anger. External and internal anger will destroy this world. It has destroyed our parent’s past, and it will destroy our children’s future. Unless we put an end to it today! TODAY!!!

Anger begets anger. Violence begets violence.

By sensationalizing extremists and bigots daily, especially with the power of social media, we promote future catastrophic events. WE, as a society with the power of social media, have made bombers who target babies, bigots with guns who target certain races or people of different sexual orientations from our own, into heroes. HEROES. You, we, have made them heroes to other angry people with similarly insane minds think that they can be heroes too. We sensationalize them, the insane. We promote a future of insanity.

Stop it.

Stop posting about it. Stop talking about it. Never forget. Never stop thinking of ways to stop these extremists, but stop making the others think that if they do the same, they’ll be just as “famous” as their predecessors.

Stop.

Maybe you’re the problem. Fame is what they seek. They are haters. Hatred in carnate. You’ve made them stars. You’ve made the “others” think they can be famous too!

Not to make light of the current situation in this country, and others, but can’t we make unicorns famous? Can’t we promote the presence of mythical creatures that fart rainbows for a change? Ignore the hatred, not the loss of life of course, but not make the rapists, the judges that make poor rulings, the bastards that blow up churches, and the bastards that kill our brothers just for hanging out in a bar, heroes?

It takes a village, people. Our country should converge and be the village that fixes this fucked up world that we live in. Love over hate.

Love over hate.

Stop propagating their hatred. Stop forming future killers by making their predecessors heroes. STOP talking about them. Instead, let’s talk about how beautiful their victims were. Let’s put the asshats in the shadows by not acknowledging them at all. If we act like they don’t exist, maybe they’ll stop existing?

It’s not the guns. It’s not the bombs. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bomb or a gun act on its own. It’s the haters that need to go. Let’s make them go away.

My heart is heavy. I’m sorry for the loss of life, so many lives, over the past 2o or so years. I want it to stop. Can you please stop making these people feel like heroes on social media? The things you say today might be creating the monsters of tomorrow. You have nobel intentions, I know, but have you thought about the future you might be creating with your reaction to their hatred?

Anger begets anger, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Life Lessons Learned from a Family Reunion at My House

Family. It’s complicated, especially when you grow up. Everyone moves on. Life goes on. You call each other. You text. You share Facebook space. You love and amuse each other…from a distance. But you don’t share your “space”. There’s a reason for that. You each create your own space, and it’s a beautiful thing. You all have your own rules, again beautiful. But what happens when you try to blend that family back together for an extended visit? CHAOS! That’s what. We, my family, did just that last week and let me share the “life lessons” I learned from this family reunion at my house.

Galveston Family Visit July 2015

Disclosure: This might piss off some family members, but you know what? They can’t deny truth and I hope they laugh along with me on this one. There was fun, lots of fun, but there was chaos and I learned a lot from Galvestongeddon 2015. 

If you’re planning a family reunion AT YOUR HOUSE any time soon, I urge you to read this list first. Because, for real, it might be rough on you and I think you should know. Like for real, y’all, this visit got cray-cray. Although it was awesome to see everyone, I’m rethinking agreeing to this AT MY HOUSE. So, without further ado…here’s my top 10 learnings from this visit…AT MY HOUSE:

If you're planning a family visit at your house, you need to read this top 10 list first.

  1. My granddaughter is the absolute cutest, funniest, and smartest granddaughter on the entire planet. (Don’t argue with me on that. It won’t go well…for YOU).
  2. Adult siblings, especially 3 strong-headed women, should not spend extended periods of time in the exact same space (think eat, sleep, breathe, and shit people). This is a huge issue if that space happens to be the nit-picky cleaner (nit-picky really sounds better than OCD, no?) of the family’s home.
  3. My babies get along incredibly well with each other when there are other children around, basically because they don’t even speak to one another.
  4. Four kids in one house for 6 days that rarely get to see each other are extremely loud. Sound barriers were broken. I’m sure my fine is in the mail.
  5. Toilet bowl lids should always be closed and toilet paper should always be loaded to the holder flap up. I seriously didn’t realize this was a life lesson, but apparently it is. (For the record, I think this one was my very own daughter…that I raised in my house…with my rules. I fail.)
  6. Both of my older daughters have grown into incredible young women and I’m very proud of both of them despite what some of the haters might say (the haters are not in my family for the record and would never be allowed…IN MY HOUSE).
  7. Celebrating your 12th wedding anniversary during a long visit from your extended family will not go well and you might even end up in a spat. Seriously, don’t let this one happen to you.
  8. Having a bunch of grown women in my house all at one time is kind of like a mini-conference and it’s a sure bet I’ll lose my voice within 2 days. Hello, Kermit.
  9. Family visits and picky eaters I learned the true difference between picky eaters and weird eaters. My family has both. Picky eaters are easier to please than weird eaters. Bubby loves peanut butter. He loves jelly. He will not eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Madi loves sea urchins (shrimp), but will not eat a sandwich. The end.
  10. Above all, I do love my family, all of them, but for future reference, I know that it’s better to rent hotel rooms for all, separately,  in the event that we ever all get together in the same place at the same time again.

I hope you giggled, at least a little bit, at the tale of our fun family reunion (agony) while reading this. I’m sure my sisters hate me right now, but that’s OK. We’re family. That’s what families do. We’ll fuss, we’ll forgive, we’ll share our space again…from a distance. We’re grown and it’s our right to be as dysfunctional as we’d like to be. For the record, this trip was not my plan. Like, I wasn’t involved in the initial planning at all. Y’all can blame B and my sister’s husband (who didn’t show up at all, he’s a brilliant man for that) for this trip. Thanks, guys. Love and kisses for that. You totally rock, you really do (please feel free to insert a sarcastic tone here). Life is sort of back to normal, and normal is good. I’m wishing the same for my sisters. It’s all good. Really, it’s all good. Despite the problems and fights (really, adult sibling fights are way nastier than childhood sibling fights), it was really good to see my entire family again.

A Day in the Life of a WAHM: The Night I Lost My Shit!

The Life of a SAHM: The Night I Lost My Shit #momlife

Being a work at home mom has its perks. Like a lot of perks. I can work in my jammies, I often do. I can set my own schedule to an extent. But it’s not all sunshine and lollipops and last night, I kind of lost my shit. OK, I totally lost my shit. Like all the shits I had totally went out the window. I stopped giving shits and it might have been past time. Let me back up and explain yesterday, every day in fact, so that you can understand how my days go. Strap yourself in because you’re about to live the day in the life of a WORK at home mom.

I wake up between 5:30 and 6:00 am. I get breakfast for the babies, take out their vitamins, pour their drinks, and take their lunches out of the frig that I prepared the night before. I pour a cup of coffee (hello!) and take the dog out to potty. I wake the babies up by 6:15 am with a “good morning, it’s going to be a great day!”, and sit them down for breakfast. There’s typically a fight that I ignore. I hold my shit and encourage them to finish their breakfast, get dressed, go brush their teeth, brush their hair, grab their book bags, get out the door. This should be a 30 minute routine since everything is laid out for them. It’s typically no less than 45 minutes. Oh well. Into the car we go at 7:00 am, 15-20 minute drive to school.

7:15 am…I drop them off with a kiss goodbye, a hug, and a, “Bug, be good, you can do this!” and a “Bubby, be a good boy and learn something new you can teach mommy”. 20 minutes back home if traffic agrees.

WAHM log, daily, 7:35 am…I’m home. Time for bon bons, alone time, and Jerry Springer. OK, so I really do turn the channel on for Jerry Springer’s hot mess of a show that will come on at 8:00 am, but not to watch, just because I need the white noise. I’m used to arguing. Apparently I can’t work without it. Plus, what’s a bon bon for real?

7:55 am, clean up the mess from the night before, sit down, schedule up socials, write down my to do list for a day of work…oh wait…I forgot…I need to run upstairs and brush my teeth and hair, I might have meetings today! Plus…hygiene!

8:00 am…sit down at my computer and really get to work. Real work, people. I have a job. People don’t realize that because I don’t PREACH, but I work ALL DAY LONG for money. I have meetings (yes, from home), I have deadlines, I have people working for me (shut up…I laugh at that too). I manage a product, a new launch, there’s stress. Oh, and while I work my 8 hours at my real job (I might work more than that), I’m also dealing with calls from school nurses and teachers, paying bills, filing taxes (OK, I’m behind on that), cleaning up the house, doing laundry (no folding required), balancing checkbooks, making shopping lists, figuring out what’s for dinner, and occasionally I get to delve into this silly blog of mine. From home…until 3:00 pm (sans shower and food I might add…who has time for that?).

3:00 pm…I close down the computer, walk the dog, set the alarm, and head out the door for the 20-minute drive to pick the babies up from school. Yesterday, I got a call from the school nurse on the way that helped me on my lose-my-shit journey for the evening. Pick them up, typically head to the grocery store for staples, then home.

4:00 pm…more work. Remember, full time job? Yea, that. Emails have been coming in while I was gone, tasks haven’t been completed. I work my “real” job while I prepare dinner, help with homework that refuses to get done (Bug..do it!), get out uniforms for the next day (that I dig from the unfolded pile of laundry I did that day), prepare lunches for the next day, and listen to spoiled children argue about what they will and won’t eat, what Wii or whatever games they do/don’t want to play, and TELL me what they like/don’t like for dinner. All the while, I work, I clean up messes, I cook, I lay out clothes, I prepare lunches, and I accommodate.

Every day. Every night. Accommodate. Quietly accommodate while B works outside of the home and teaches school twice a week. Just me and my bon bon schedule. I hold my shit.

This time? Bug refused to do her homework…again. Bubby had no interest in what we were eating. In fact, he demanded I heat up the deep fryer to cook him his favorite chicken nuggets despite the fact that there was a full meal cooked. Bug snuck in the frig and stole some cherries. I looked around, still having work to do, lunches to fix, clothes to lay out, and they had crap everywhere. No one to help me.

6:00 pm…nothing felt right. Work wasn’t done, homework (Bug’s only) wasn’t done, clothes weren’t laid out, dinner wasn’t eaten, lunches weren’t made. It was a hot mess in here and I’d had it.

7:00 pm…I LOST MY SHIT. I took all of the toys, the clothes they’d thrown in the floor, the books from homework not done…I threw it all in the middle of the floor and I told them to get their stuff together. Get it cleaned up, including the attitudes, or get it gone.

7:02 pm…man, it got quiet in here.

7:05 – 8:30 pm…I got a lot of work done. A LOT.

9:00 pm…cleaned up, bed time, calm. But, I’d lost my shit. All but that is the typical life of a WAHM.

9:15 pm…back in the kitchen for dinner clean up, lunch prep, breakfast prep, lay out the clothes, and a double check of what I forgot to do for work today. Another hour or 2, I might regain my shit. I’ll get caught back up and I’ll be ready to face 5:30 am where it starts all over again.

12:00 am – 2:00 am – Sometime between this window, I usually give up and go to sleep.

5:30 am…Oh, you know.

Anyway, the life of a WAHM has awesome benefits. I totally love my life. I love my family, my husband, my kids, my job. Typically everything is awesome. But before you think we sit around and eat bon bons and do nothing all day? STFU! Some days, a lot of days, are AWESOME, but some days aren’t. Those are the days, on the rare occasion we forget to regain our composure, that we completely lose our shit. Last night, I lost my shit.

I’m not proud. But sometimes…when your kids feel too privileged and don’t know what a struggle really is since they’ve never experienced one…when life gets overwhelming? That’s when you schedule “lose your shit” in at around 7:00 pm and hope for a better day tomorrow.