Dear Kids, About that Allowance You Never Got from Me

An open letter to my kids, all six of them, about that allowance that they never got from me no matter how hard they begged, no matter how hard they worked, no matter how hard they tried to state their case about how much they earned it. Dear Kids, you’re welcome!

Dear Kids, About that allowance I don't give you. You're welcome. Love, Mom

Dear Kids,

About that allowance you never got from me? You’re welcome. All of you have asked for it over the years (except you, Bubby, my youngest and current favorite, but you will). You see, I’m one of those moms that doesn’t believe in a traditional “allowance” because, really, I already pay you enough. I pay you too much, in fact. Let’s dissect allowance, shall we?

Allowance

  • the amount of something that is permitted, especially within a set of regulations or for a specified purpose.

Huh?

Every time you broach this topic, my dear lovelies, I scratch my head. Can I have an allowance? By definition, it makes no sense. With practicality in mind, it makes even less sense.

You cleaned your room and you want an allowance? That’s earning your “keep”.

You washed the truck? Wait. Did you want to take that truck to the prom? Earn your keep, kid.

You did well in school? Good for you! I actually did quite well too and I was proud of myself for working so hard and making my parents proud.

You put your clothes (that I picked up out of your bedroom floor, washed, and folded) away? Wow, amazing. You are an overachiever. Maybe you do deserve an allowance.

BUT you don’t. AT. ALL.

Let me ask you, allowance-hungry children, something. Do you pay me for dinner? Do you pay me for putting a roof over your head? Do you pay me for driving you to school every day and picking you up? Do you pay me for those school clothes and supplies? Do you pay me for doing your laundry? Do you pay me for that TV you watch or the video games you play? Do you pay me for your never-ending electricity (that I try to keep down by constantly turning off lights and fans you hap-hazardly leave on)? Do you pay ME for buying your food (all of your favorites, you’re welcome) and cooking all of your meals and cleaning up after you, even when I don’t (which is almost never) eat that food myself? Do you pay me for any of my many services?

You do NOT. I don’t ask for payment. Why? It’s my job!

Instead, I ask that you “occasionally” clean up after yourselves, my loves. I ask that you flush and close the toilet. I ask that you show me respect and love. I ask that you appreciate that you have food, clothing, shelter, and so much more. Those things are your “allowance”, dear children, and you’re very lucky to have the things that are afforded you. Many children do not have what you have.

Don’t ask me for extra payment for “extra” things you do. Seriously, it’s stupid and you won’t win this argument. You want to charge me? Let’s play that game. Every time you do something, I’ll pay you. BUT every time I do something, you pay me too. My palm is itching. Look it up, I’m about to come into some big money!

Hey! I just unloaded the dishwasher that I loaded after I cooked your dinner that you loved and you remembered to put your plate in the sink. You put your plate in the sink? I owe you $1.00?

I bought the groceries, cooked your dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, and unloaded it. You owe me $50. Wanna just give me that $49 and call it even?

Or do you want me to pay you that allowance for ALL THAT YOU DO?

Your allowance?

I feed you. I clothe you. I buy you everything you need…and more. I clean up after you. I do your laundry, your dishes. I work and I provide. And as busy as I am, I still take the time to talk to you and love you. Yes, you’re welcome.

You say you want an allowance?

I allow you to stay here because you’re my children, I love you, and that’s what I signed up for. I allow you the finer things in life. Again, you’re welcome.

You know what? I grew up on a self-sufficient farm. We got up early, took care of animals and a garden, then we got ready for school and got good grades. We helped my mom clean on weekends (the what you say?) and do you want to know how much “allowance” we got? We got love, food, clothing, and shelter. We didn’t even get video games or cell phones. *GASP*

It was enough. My parents gave me life and the things I needed in life. It was enough and I didn’t DARE ask for more. Why would I need more?

Why do you?

So, my loves, my minions (look up the true meaning of that word…not the yellow guys…and you’ll know why I use it so often). Know how much allowance I owe you? You’re already overpaid considering the services you provide.

You’re welcome.

You may not like it right now, but I’m attempting to raise good humans, productive members of society. That’s hard work, y’all. I deserve a little more payment. Don’t pay me in complaints. Don’t pay me by asking me for more. Do the things you’re asked (which seriously are tasks a 5-year-old could accomplish with ease), and appreciate what you have.

Does all of this sound a little harsh to you? I really am doing you a favor and some day you’ll “get” it (ask Bry, she’s grown and she gets it now, or ask Paetyn who is now a parent herself…she totally gets it). You four youngest really have NO clue at this point in your life. You will, but you don’t now. Have patience. The lightbulb will go off and you’ll thank me.

Life gets harder (like super hard) when you grow up. You’ll honestly have to work for a living and that “allowance” and you’ll look back and wish you didn’t get one again.

So, about that allowance I don’t give you now? You’re welcome.

With Love,

Your Mom (who will never pay you an “allowance”, but will always be proud for raising good humans)

PS – Bubby, when you get old enough to read this and think it’s OK to ask for an allowance. Don’t. Just do what mommy asks and appreciate what you have. You’re my current favorite for a reason. Don’t sully your reputation.

A Successful Marriage Requires Falling in Love Again

Everyone has marital problems from time to time. It’s how we deal with them that’s key. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

The key to a successful marriage is falling in the love is falling in love with the save person many times
Life has its struggles. We all know this, and yet, somehow it’s all worth it. Marriage is no exception to this rule. Marriage is hard work, y’all. But it’s totally worth it because that bond has so many perks. That bond is the true meaning of life. THAT BOND is what makes or breaks a successful marriage and family, and when that bond is challenged, it’s time to fix things.

B and I are certainly no exception to the “challenged bond” rule. We’ve had our ups and downs. We all have. Those couples that tell you that their life is perfect? They’re either lying to you or they’re lying to themselves. I’ve said that many times, but it bears repeating. No one’s marriage is perfect. We’re all human. We’ll disagree. We’ll fight. We’ll have a propensity to give up. Just quit. Human.

But what do you do when you think the prize at the game table is totally worth the risk? You try, and try again. It’s the same with marriage. If you want a successful marriage, you need to suck up the disagreements and find a way to fall in love all over again, with the same person, many times. It will take a forever of trying to make a forever marriage. No one, neither one of you, can ever stop falling in love, over and over again.

Is it always easy? NO.

Is it always simple to find that common ground that brought you together in the first place? NO.

Is it always worth the effort? YES!

You fell in love for a reason. You grew apart for a reason. Neither destination is really that far apart. You really had to try to get to both places. Nothing in easy in life. Nothing.

When you fell in love, you were on your best behavior. Before you felt yourselves falling apart, you were probably on your worst. It happens. BUT, your best behavior is who you really are, so bring out your best behavior again and fall in love, with the same person over and over again.

Stop letting the stress from work make you a Negative Nelson. Stop letting the stress of parenting make you a Bitter Betty. Stop focusing on finances. Stop keeping up with the Jones. Just stop fretting and start loving again. That’s all it takes. Remember who YOU are. Remember who your spouse was. Bring those “kids” back and just fall in love all over again. Life can be tough, but you’re tougher than that and those things really don’t matter. Your happiness, MY happiness, and the love you created is what really matters.

Find it again!

Remember what he or she loves best. Buy them sparkly things. SHOW them you care and that you never want to live another day without them in your life. Love them, like you did back then, again and again…and again.

If you’re struggling, again we all do, learn to love again. Fall in love again. You loved them in the beginning for a reason. Your heart says you love them now. Don’t fail your heart because your brain stresses everything!

Fall in love all over again, always with the same person! That’s the key to a successful marriage. I’m working on mine. Are you?

Make Family Memories in Your Own Back Yard

Stop spending all of your money thrill seeking at amusement and water parks. The best family memories are made in your own back yard and Backyard Ocean has you covered with their Float to Fill Ring Pools. Note that I did receive this product to give to my extremely precious granddaughter in exchange for my honest opinions, and memories none of us will ever forget.

Backyard Ocean Simple Summer Escapes Pool Party

Children are actually very simple to please, before we teach them otherwise that is. I think we often forget that in our quest to keep up with the Jones. That Jones family that has all that great stuff and goes on lavish vacations? They aren’t happier than you. They are just maxed out on credit cards, and quite honestly, they’re probably trying to keep up with you too. Toss all of that aside, stop spending copious amounts of money on amusement parks and water parks (that probably stress you out anyway…wait, that’s not just me, right?), and make affordable and fun family memories in your own back yard! Your kids, and your wallet, will thank you.

Stop spending money and create a simple and affordable Ocean Oasis in your own back yard with Backyard Ocean

Really, as parents, even more so as grandparents, we overthink these things. I had lavish plans of a HUGE party this summer. There would be grilling, a bounce house, elephants and giraffes (overboard?), and so much pool party fun, it would be the talk of the town for decades to come. But this summer threw me some loops and my dreams of grandeur didn’t come to fruition. We had fun (and chaos, so much chaos), but no amazing party and I didn’t get to set up the pool I got for my beautiful Natalie Bug to enjoy. But you know what? All of that hooplah wasn’t necessary! Apparently you don’t need all of that fancy stuff to make a wee-tot happy. Know how I know? It didn’t happen, and I sent this simple set up pool home with the “kids” and they’re having the best summer ever because Natalie really cares less about the hype than she does this pool, her new BFF in her own back yard!

Create an Affordable Ocean Oasis in your own back yard with Back Yard Ocean

Backyard Ocean’s Float to Fill™ Ring Pools make it incredibly easy to enjoy all of the benefits of a quality pool without any of the installation costs and hassles. All you have to do is lay out the pool on a flat surface, fill the inflatable ring with air, then fill the pool with water. The ring rises as you fill the pool, pulling up the rugged walls with it, making setup a breeze! Easy peasy and the pool is so sturdy, your little one doesn’t even have to wait until the pool is full to begin enjoying the fun.

Make Your Grandchild Smiles with a simple and affordable backyard oasis

And here I was going to spend ridiculous amounts of money to make my grandbaby smile. Silly me. Silly you because I know you’ve been trying to do the same thing for your family. If you have little ones at home, this is the way to go. Save that money, save your time, and save all of that aggrevation and chaos. Tell the Jones you just don’t care about keeping up with them anymore. The best family memories are made in your own back yard!

best backyard for summer

Who’s with me? There’s still plenty of summer left (especially if you live in the south). Are you ready to take the challenge to make the best backyard pool setup and celebrate all of the warm-weather fun?