Hate Begets Hate: Let’s Stop the Cycle Now

Hate begets hate, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

hate begets hate

I’m about to step out of my comfort zone. I don’t “do” politics. I don’t discuss ugly things. It’s about time I discuss both of those things, and so I shall. I have opinions that I keep to myself, because I should. While I watch the world around me shatter, I keep my mouth shut. Because I should. But I have six children, and I really should not keep my mouth shut anymore because their future depends on me. On my opinions. On my actions. And so tonight, I step out of my comfort zone, and I speak my mind.

Anger is the route of all evil. Not guns. Not bombs. Not the angry acts of terrorists. Anger. External and internal anger will destroy this world. It has destroyed our parent’s past, and it will destroy our children’s future. Unless we put an end to it today! TODAY!!!

Anger begets anger. Violence begets violence.

By sensationalizing extremists and bigots daily, especially with the power of social media, we promote future catastrophic events. WE, as a society with the power of social media, have made bombers who target babies, bigots with guns who target certain races or people of different sexual orientations from our own, into heroes. HEROES. You, we, have made them heroes to other angry people with similarly insane minds think that they can be heroes too. We sensationalize them, the insane. We promote a future of insanity.

Stop it.

Stop posting about it. Stop talking about it. Never forget. Never stop thinking of ways to stop these extremists, but stop making the others think that if they do the same, they’ll be just as “famous” as their predecessors.

Stop.

Maybe you’re the problem. Fame is what they seek. They are haters. Hatred in carnate. You’ve made them stars. You’ve made the “others” think they can be famous too!

Not to make light of the current situation in this country, and others, but can’t we make unicorns famous? Can’t we promote the presence of mythical creatures that fart rainbows for a change? Ignore the hatred, not the loss of life of course, but not make the rapists, the judges that make poor rulings, the bastards that blow up churches, and the bastards that kill our brothers just for hanging out in a bar, heroes?

It takes a village, people. Our country should converge and be the village that fixes this fucked up world that we live in. Love over hate.

Love over hate.

Stop propagating their hatred. Stop forming future killers by making their predecessors heroes. STOP talking about them. Instead, let’s talk about how beautiful their victims were. Let’s put the asshats in the shadows by not acknowledging them at all. If we act like they don’t exist, maybe they’ll stop existing?

It’s not the guns. It’s not the bombs. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bomb or a gun act on its own. It’s the haters that need to go. Let’s make them go away.

My heart is heavy. I’m sorry for the loss of life, so many lives, over the past 2o or so years. I want it to stop. Can you please stop making these people feel like heroes on social media? The things you say today might be creating the monsters of tomorrow. You have nobel intentions, I know, but have you thought about the future you might be creating with your reaction to their hatred?

Anger begets anger, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Yes, I’m getting old, but I was born to break

Yes, getting old sucks, but some of us were born to break, and I am one of those people. I have a doctor’s note. Even in your 40’s, with a body that is in better shape (and way more active) than some people in their 20’s, bone breaking has nothing to do with age.

Disclosure: Pissy pants post prompted by some haters in my life, most that shouldn’t even matter, but I feel I need to get this off my “old” chest.

We all hate getting old, but let me dispel the rumor. I’m not falling apart because I’m getting “old”. I have a doctor’s note. I’m falling apart, and breaking, because I was born this way, and the breaking started some time around birth, apparently.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fooling myself. I am getting old, but I’m not broken because of that fact. I’m broken in spite of it since I’ve always been “broken”.

I posted the other day about my “new normal” and I got some flack on Facebook. I heard that I’m just “getting old” and “these things happen”. Honestly, I was offended. I wasn’t offended that people said I was “getting old”. I am getting old. I was offended because people made the assumption, and overly judgmental statements, that my condition, my current broken situation, was solely based on the fact that I’m “old”.

Apparently, according to my doctor’s note, I was born broken. I guess I was born old? My bones, my tiny body, are not strong. I have a condition, that I was born with, when I was young.

There’s no name for this “condition” that they can put their finger on yet, but basically, I was born to break. Someone should have noticed years ago, apparently. I was born large, with Erb’s Palsy (because I was a huge baby…HUGE…1o lbs 11.5 oz). I’ve been ridiculously bow legged my whole life. I broke my baby toes while I cheered (or walked into wall jams) so many times that my baby toes now bend completely to the side of my feet with a ridiculousness that’s nothing short of a party trick. I have scoliosis (diagnosed at the “old” age of 12), a muscle disorder in my back (that they found when I was ridiculously old at 18). Broken, since birth.

I demolished my left elbow at the ripe “old” age of 35, it broke like a twig in several places, and I hit menopause at 41, just 4 months after the birth of my son. Let it be noted that I’ve had 4 children, now ages 26 to 7, without any hormone therapy, because “old” people do that. Yes, I might sound snippy here, but I’m tired of the insinuations and I’m ready to set things straight because my new “old” normal has been my normal my whole life, and I never knew it.

My normal is the reason why I never grew “like a regular person” apparently. My normal is why I break. My normal is why I don’t “heal” like everyone else. In fact, my “normal” is why my body actually heals quicker than most.

My body is what my orthopedist and my therapists now call “Mighty Mouse Syndrome”. No, that’s not an official medical term. That’s their term. They can’t explain it. In just 24 hours after my second surgery, while my arm was completely numb, a full block, my elbow healed itself to non-motion before I could get motion back again. Yes, in 24 hours, my body healed itself, protected itself from more pain, at a rate that most bodies, at a young age, would heal in 2-4 weeks. That’s what “old” bodies do, or not.

I have a disorder. I’m not your kind of  “old”. So, before you say my issues are because I’m “old” and I should deal with it because I’m “old” like you, maybe you should try to read, research, and understand, before you make your rash old judgements. You know who you are and thankfully I have WAY more supporters than I do haters, so there’s definitely that!

I am getting old. We all are, in fact. But my body, my 95 pound fit body, is still fighting harder than a 20 year old. My arms might be broken, but it has nothing to do with my age. Proof positive, there are millions of 40+ year olds walking around without broken elbows, all day, every day. Go figure. But not me. I was born this way. I’m an abomination of nature. Yay, me.

I can deal with getting “old”. I can’t deal with uneducated people telling me that I’m broken because I’m old. I can’t deal with uneducated people telling me that I’m not healing because I’m getting old. Take the time to read. Do your research. I’m not “healing” because my “old” body is healing too quickly. It’s fighting my condition. It’s protecting me from pain and further injury.

Thanks for your “advice”. When you get a medical degree, when you understand what’s wrong with me, I’ll be happy to listen to you because I really hope you can fix this “old” body of mine. In the meantime, I’d appreciate if you’d STFU because you have no idea how it feels to hear real professionals tell you that you were born to break.

You might be falling apart because you’re getting old and you don’t work out regularly and take care of yourself. I’m not taking that road. I’m really not that “old”. I was just born broken. I’m dealing with my new normal, my life-long normal that I never knew about. What’s your excuse?

Keep your issues to yourself and don’t read my rants if you want to judge. For real, I don’t need that shit in my life right now. I’m dealing with real issues. Just grow “old” and shut up. Thank you in advance!

#endrant

If I Could Write a Letter to 5-Year-Old Me…

How many of us would change our life’s course if we could? If you could write a letter to 5-year-old you, what would you say? Here’s my Letter to 5-Year-Old Me. If I could change some things, I would.

a letter to 5 year old me

Dear 5-Year-Old Christy,

Hi! I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you had fun on the playground today. I hope you didn’t let that little mean boy get to you today. You’re tiny for your age. So what? That won’t change by the way, so get used to it, and embrace it. He doesn’t matter. Mean people suck. You’ll learn that soon enough. Way too soon in fact. I’m sorry. I wish grown-up me were there to hold you right now. I’m not, but I’ve always been with you and I’m here with you now. If you’re reading this (you’re not), you’ll avoid the hot mess that is your life in your 40’s. It’s not all bad. In fact much of it is awesome, but things could be better. Hang on, baby, because I have some things I want you to learn at 5, and I want you to carry those lessons into your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and beyond. Ready?

  1. Laugh a lot, baby. Even when you feel like crying, laugh. It’ll make them wonder what you’re up to, and it’ll make you a happier person.
  2. Don’t trust too soon. Being cautious isn’t being paranoid. It’s being cautious and it could save you years of heartache.
  3. Always say no the first time if that’s what your heart tells you to do. If you’re worth it to them, no matter the situation, they’ll wait.
  4. Hand in hand with 3, always follow your heart unless your brain is so overpowering that you truly need to listen. If that happens, listen to your brain.
  5. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s OK to show your emotions, but showing too much just brings out those bullies. They sense it, on the playground now, and the bullies don’t change.
  6. Be the change. When life or people around you suck, figure out how to change things to make the world a better place.
  7. Find your tribe. Align with people that get you. Make them make you accountable for all of the above. Make them talk you out of the stupid shit (sorry about that, you’ll have a potty mouth when you grow up, there are worse things).
  8. Don’t be a doormat. This one will be a huge challenge for you. It’s one thing to be a people pleaser, it’s another all together to be walked on.
  9. Be proud of the fact that you have a brain and know how to use it. It’s not aggression, baby, it’s assertion. Don’t you dare let them tell you otherwise.
  10. Life’s tough. Like, the struggle is real. If the bully on the playground is too much, walk away. If the job isn’t treating you right (not to be confused with you being lazy), leave. If people beat you down too much, just walk away, love. Walk away from the shit life is sure to deal. You and I will both be better off if you’re better than me and just walk away from the crap.

Your life will be amazeballs if you (unlike old you) follow this advice. AH-MAZING! Don’t hit your 40’s and wonder what the eff happened. Take charge. Beat those bullies. The ones on the playground and the ones in your future life. Let them lie to others and pretend you’re the bad guy. You know. Everyone knows in fact. Just do you, boo, and be strong. Do you, but step it up this time. Change the things that are wrong as they happen, act on your instincts, your heart, your brain. I’m in your corner. A lot of people are. Don’t forget it this time.

With love,