The Storm Will Pass. The Spring Will Come.

Spring is a time of new beginnings for all of us. Never make rash decisions based on the winter storm’s events. The storm will pass. The spring will come. Embrace the warmer weather. Embrace the blooming flowers. Embrace what you love the most and be the change.

The Storm Will Pass. The Spring Will Come.

Every spring, I seem to re-evaluate my life. I guess we all do.The storm will pass. What changes can I make in this world, to my life, to make it a better place? I’m often tempted to throw in the towel and just give up after braving the winter storms. I think we all are. Being cooped up, both literally and figuratively, makes us all feel that way at some level, I guess. That overwhelming feeling of, is this really all working out for me, is it all worth it, kind of gets to you, you know? I know you know.

So, what do you do?

Do you throw in the proverbial towel and just decide that the struggles aren’t worth it anymore and start anew with a whole new life? I mean, we’re all getting old (as we read my dribble), so is it all still worth the fight? Are the struggles really worth the pay off? Would it be easier to just start over, just like the flowers in spring?

Or do we take the lead from the most beautiful season that nature has to offer? Do we just stay where we are and enjoy, and nurture, the rebirth of the new season in our lives? Do we just grow back, annually, despite the diversity?

I choose to stay. I choose to bloom. Again. Because my life isn’t always beautiful, but overall, it’s a beautiful life.

My family, my marriage, has a lot of struggles. We’re human. We make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Forgiveness, rebirth, and remembering what matters the most is what keeps us all going in life. I take my strength from the season of growth. Springtime.

The flowers are blooming. The weather is heating up. There’s a freshness in the air. There’s a freshness in my step too. This time, unlike the spring epiphanies I’ve had in the past, I plan to keep that freshness alive.

I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth. None of us do. I’m embracing spring. I’m embracing life. I’m embracing an awakening in myself, my marriage, my family.

This year, the only spring cleaning I’m going to do is from within. The cobwebs can wait.

My family comes first. They’ve always come first, but I forget to tell, show them enough. No more forgetting to tell them that they come first. No more forgetting them because I have just ONE MORE task to complete. No more putting them off. No more skipped biked rides. No more ‘in a minute’ or ‘we’ll see’ replies. No more forgetting them.

Ever.

Hello spring! I’ve missed you and I’m ready to make the change.

The storm has passed (for good). The spring has come. I’m happy, I feel playful (for the first time in 100 springs), and I’m ready to never cut down a tree again.

A Successful Marriage Requires Falling in Love Again

Everyone has marital problems from time to time. It’s how we deal with them that’s key. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

The key to a successful marriage is falling in the love is falling in love with the save person many times
Life has its struggles. We all know this, and yet, somehow it’s all worth it. Marriage is no exception to this rule. Marriage is hard work, y’all. But it’s totally worth it because that bond has so many perks. That bond is the true meaning of life. THAT BOND is what makes or breaks a successful marriage and family, and when that bond is challenged, it’s time to fix things.

B and I are certainly no exception to the “challenged bond” rule. We’ve had our ups and downs. We all have. Those couples that tell you that their life is perfect? They’re either lying to you or they’re lying to themselves. I’ve said that many times, but it bears repeating. No one’s marriage is perfect. We’re all human. We’ll disagree. We’ll fight. We’ll have a propensity to give up. Just quit. Human.

But what do you do when you think the prize at the game table is totally worth the risk? You try, and try again. It’s the same with marriage. If you want a successful marriage, you need to suck up the disagreements and find a way to fall in love all over again, with the same person, many times. It will take a forever of trying to make a forever marriage. No one, neither one of you, can ever stop falling in love, over and over again.

Is it always easy? NO.

Is it always simple to find that common ground that brought you together in the first place? NO.

Is it always worth the effort? YES!

You fell in love for a reason. You grew apart for a reason. Neither destination is really that far apart. You really had to try to get to both places. Nothing in easy in life. Nothing.

When you fell in love, you were on your best behavior. Before you felt yourselves falling apart, you were probably on your worst. It happens. BUT, your best behavior is who you really are, so bring out your best behavior again and fall in love, with the same person over and over again.

Stop letting the stress from work make you a Negative Nelson. Stop letting the stress of parenting make you a Bitter Betty. Stop focusing on finances. Stop keeping up with the Jones. Just stop fretting and start loving again. That’s all it takes. Remember who YOU are. Remember who your spouse was. Bring those “kids” back and just fall in love all over again. Life can be tough, but you’re tougher than that and those things really don’t matter. Your happiness, MY happiness, and the love you created is what really matters.

Find it again!

Remember what he or she loves best. Buy them sparkly things. SHOW them you care and that you never want to live another day without them in your life. Love them, like you did back then, again and again…and again.

If you’re struggling, again we all do, learn to love again. Fall in love again. You loved them in the beginning for a reason. Your heart says you love them now. Don’t fail your heart because your brain stresses everything!

Fall in love all over again, always with the same person! That’s the key to a successful marriage. I’m working on mine. Are you?

Anniversaries, Love, and Realizations…I’m Where I’m Supposed to Be.

anniversary flowers with text
Do you remember the minute you fell in love? The minute you knew HE was the one? I do. It was one day in 2003. I’d been in “love” before. But it wasn’t real love. It didn’t have staying power. It was fleeting and those relationships didn’t last. Not even the one that produced 2 beautiful children. It wasn’t “real”.

I met B in 2002 and it was meant to be a fling. He was 11 years my junior. He had his kids, I had mine. We just wanted a companion that didn’t want anything lasting. Just a break from reality. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. He wasn’t supposed to tell me that. I felt it then, but I didn’t admit it. That’s not what we were about.

But I remember the day I admitted it freely and willingly like it was yesterday. Something in the way the sun shone on him, something in the way his eyes twinkled, something in the way he made me rethink love. It was that day that I felt a forever love, a love that would withstand the troubles and trials in life, the love that would withstand the test of time. No matter what.

That “no matter what” has been truly tested over the past 12 years. He’s tested it way more than I have. But the day I decided to truly “love” him, I decided that this time, I’d learn true love, understanding, and the hardest part of all, forgiveness. Because this man? He was worth it.

anniversary flowers bright

And he is. Despite our troubles, this man is the man I want (NEED) to spend the rest of my life with. We just recently celebrated 11 years of marriage, but I see it more as celebrating 11 years of staying power. Marriage, relationships, are rough. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is either lying to you, or lying to themselves. There are always problems when you decide to spend the rest of your life with just one person. Always. But when you decide to love, accept, and occasionally forgive? That’s when you can find true happiness. It’s work!

anniversary flowers overhead
Sometimes, when you find the “one”, there’s occasional pain. But when you actually do find the “ONE”, there’s always so much more pleasure than pain so it’s totally worth it. It’s worth the “work” involved in making a real relationship, in fostering that forever love. Nothing is easy in life. NOTHING. If you have staying power, if you find the ONE, stick it out. Work on it. Continue to work on it each and every day. Don’t ever forget why you fell in love. Don’t ever forget the moment that brought you to this point. Don’t ever forget to tell the one you love how much you love and appreciate them. Just keep working.

Happiness is possible and I’ve found happiness through the occasional trials and tribulations. I’ve also found that all of this “work” is totally worthwhile. I love being in love and I love the life I’m living. It’s not all work so I’m happy to put in the time to enjoy the roses on any given Tuesday, the unspoken “looks”, and the memories we’re making while we constantly “work” on us.

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. And quite honestly, “The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me.”.