Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Only At Wal Mart

I was going to skip Wordless Wednesday this week because it is just WRONG (funny as hell) of me to post this picture....but seriously....I just couldn't resist!  You know those "Only At Wal Mart" emails that circulate that make you laugh so hard and you think "Naw...that's not real"?  Well guess what?  It is real and I had one of those moments this week.  And of course I snapped the picture, wouldn't you?

Please note that the lady in the sequin skirt with the pleather boots is wearing a black t-shirt with a yellow smiley face on it.  This would have made for a better picture, I'm stupid bold, but I'm not looking to get punched in the face, I was NOT going to snap this while they were looking!  And the guy, well, that is NOT a kilt.  That is a true 80's skirt (come on ladies, you know you had one so you know what I'm talking about).  The skirt paired with the tennis shoes and the hoodie...PRICELESS!  We don't get out much so thankfully when we do, things like this present themselves and are always good for a little giggle (oh who the hell am I trying to kid? I laughed for about 2 hours over this....I'm still laughing).  

Hope I don't offend anyone with this (and hopefully they aren't readers of my blog) but this is funny, really funny!  And if you are offended by this post, you're probably in the wrong place!  Have a great week y'all, and always laugh at the silly stuff!  

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

He Said It Was The Biggest Turd Ever...So Of Course I Listened

My husband and I don't get out much, really we don't. We are somewhat of a recession family. We pay our bills, we eat, we have the necessities, but not much left over for “extras” or going out. He works A LOT and goes to school and I stay home with the kids (because between day care and gas, who can afford to work these days?). So our lives are not charmed and the “little things” are what keep us going. He sits and listens to my endless stories of what Bug did wrong today, or the new word that Bubby learned, or how I cleaned the carpets (again) or whatever new recipe I know, all the big adventures of a stay-at-home mom!

I in turn listen to countless stories of sweaty pipe fitting men, the problems of the day, writing on bathroom stalls, idiots in class, or whatever other exciting adventures he may have encountered during his day.

There was a time we took vacations and went out to dinner and had excitement in our lives, but for now, it is what it is and we both respect each others place in this world of ours, so we sit and we listen no matter what.

I should note that for Valentine's Day, he paid for a month of unlimited tanning for me (something I dearly love), but understand a month of unlimited tanning with our schedule means I get to go on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday only. So a week ago on Thursday (ahhh the day I had been waiting for all week), he comes home all excited wanting to tell me a story. He began with “It was the biggest turd I've ever seen, you have to hear this”, so of course, I delayed my plans to listen. I mean it was the biggest turd ever, right? He has a tendency to elaborate (stretch a story until he beats it to death) but I was hoping I could listen and still make the tanning salon before they closed. And so he began:

Making this long story short (something he hasn't mastered), he walked into the bathroom on the 19th floor (and apparently this was an important factor or he would have never bothered to mention it). On his way in he noticed a big turd in the toilet so he flushed it on the way to the urinal. That's what all good employees would do. He went in, did his business, and when he walked back by, this “thing” again caught his eye (really? He seriously had to be looking). As the obviously good employee that he is, concerning himself only with safety and cleanliness, he flushed again. It wouldn't go. This is when he apparently noticed that this was the biggest turd ever. He tried to flush it again (third times the charm you know), but to no avail. It was stuck so he said. It was at least 3' long and 2' in diameter. I'm certain that he was not exaggerating because he NEVER does that!

So what's the next order of business when you see this safety hazard? No question, go get your buddies of course! The three of them apparently stood there and tried to flush this beast and giggled like school was NOT going down. Next order of business? Why of course, you run to your boss's office to tell him of this monstrosity. What else would you do? You tell the boss that he should be looking for the guy bleeding out of his butthole because this guy needs to go to the hospital. Yes, that's what you do. And the story ended with that. I smiled and nodded (seriously, what would you do?), but he had said it was the biggest turd he'd ever seen. He was so excited. I had to listen. And I did! Then I left, and I was oh-so-proud....

I got to tan that night so it wasn't a complete loss. And by the way, when I got home, I am all but certain that I told him that Bubby counted to 11 that day. Might not have been as big of news as the biggest turd ever, but I was proud!  He listened, smiled, and nodded.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Day At The Park

Although we are blessed (smart) to live in a relatively warm (snow-free) climate year round, somehow the first day of Spring is still exciting and calls for a day at the park!  So we did just that...loaded up on the bikes and headed down the seawall to the park to play!

Sliding and swinging are just so much fun!  Oh and skipping, I love skipping!  Happy Spring Y'all!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Bug's Favorite Fried Pork Chops

My 30-pound daughter is a big eater for sure, but when she ate 3 of my pork chops last night (along with a big heaping helping of green beans and some corn), I posted it on FB of course, and was asked repeatedly for my recipe.  I figured I would just post it here, and share it there. As with all of my cooking, these are very low sodium and pretty low in carbs as well.  Kind of messy to make (or maybe that's just me, I'm a really messy cook), but everyone around here just loves them.  Hope you and yours enjoy them too!

What You'll Need (I don't really "measure" my ingredients, so these are estimates, but should be pretty accurate):

1 Cup Vegetable or Canola Oil
10-12 Thin Boneless Pork Chops (I use the really thin ones, better cooking)
1 Tbsp Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb Blend
1 Tbsp Mrs. Dash Tomato, Basil, Garlic Blend
1 Tsp Onion Powder (NOT onion salt please)
1 Tsp Ground Red Pepper (you could probably substitute black if you'd prefer)
1/3 Cup Lactose-Free Milk (again, you can use regular milk)
2 Eggs
1 Cup All Purpose Flour
1 1/2 Cups Seasoned Bread Crumbs (we use a store brand Zesty variety)


Set up "stations" in the following order:
1. Put all of the seasonings in a bowl and mix well.   
2. Beat the 2 eggs and milk in a bowl.
3. Pour the flour onto a plate and spread out.
4. Pour the bread crumbs onto a plate and spread out.

Prepare the Chops:
1. Dredge chop in seasoning (both sides).
2. Dip seasoned chop in egg. 
3. Dredge in flour (only lightly coat, just helps keep all of the ingredients on). 
4. Dip back in egg.
5. Dredge in bread crumbs making sure to get full coverage of the entire chop.
6. Place on plate and repeat until all of them are done.
7. Place the plate of chops in the freezer (not covered) for at least half an hour (this helps solidify the coating so it doesn't fall off when you fry them).

Cook the Chops:
1. Pour Canola Oil in deep frying pan and heat until hot (when sprinkled water sizzles).
2. Depending on the size of your pan, cook 4 to 5 chops at a time until both sides are golden, crispy brown.  (Since I use the thin chops, once they are browned, they are cooked all the way through.  If you use thicker chops, I would make sure to check before serving).
3. Continue until all are cooked, and serve.

That's it!  Let me know if you try them and if so, if y'all like them!  I hope you do as much as my family does!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Don't Cut The Curls!

So Bubby was one when he got his first hair cut and the lady butchered it!  Like a lot of Moms, I was not only devastated, but was afraid his curls were gone forever.  But I let it grow, and they came back, just as beautiful as ever.  From recent posts, you can see that maybe I let it grow too much, but those curls really are beautiful!  He was beginning to look a little too much like my daughters, so I gave in to the pressure and got his hair cut this week.  I kept my fingers crossed...don't cut too much...not too little...but for God's Sake, leave the curls!

I wasn't the only one that didn't seem pleased (even the lady in the background looks worried)!

  And she cut....(nice girl though, really!)

And she cut...we were all concerned!  But....

The Bub's curls are in tact...just a little shorter...a little neater!  What a handsome little man I have!  He deserved that sucker too.  He's not only beautiful, he's a good boy too!  I'm a very lucky Mommy indeed!


Thursday, March 10, 2011

He Spanked My Money Maker

As I've stated many times, Bug is my challenge in life.  She often drives me to the point of true padded-cell, straight-jacketed type of insanity.  I'm afraid when she starts school, she will tell them her name is "Don't" because we tell her that so often.  I beat myself up about it a lot.  I don't understand where this behavior comes from, why is she so bad mischievous?  I mean, I am the rule queen, I follow and enforce all rules, there is a place for everything and everything is in it's place.  I've kind of always blamed her father because he spoils her shamelessly and he himself is somewhat of a rule breaker.  So again today while I was cleaning, after getting on to her for jumping on my bed, teasing her brother, making a mess in her room, changing her clothes four times, and of course talking too much, I had one of those vision things you see in the movies and I'd like to share it with you. 

Picture this:  Circa 1972, somewhere in New England, I see a very petite 4-year-old, blond-haired, blue-eyed girl standing behind a shrub surrounded by 6 somewhat older boys  (they had to be all of 6 years old).  The little girl bore a striking resemblance to my Bug.  Wait was that me?  It was and I remember this day.  I remember it was allowance day in the neighborhood and I remember I didn't get my allowance because I didn't do my chores.  I remember I was mad.  One of the boys dared me to pull my pants down and show them my butt.  Things were way different back then so of course I said "Sure but it will cost you."  "How much?"  "50 cents each!".  Apparently they thought it was a bargain, because they all took the deal, handed over their money, so I pulled down my pants.  Sure was a cute little butt and I pulled in a cool $3.00 for this 30 second show.  That was a lot of money back then!  But just as in real life, in that vision, up pulls the old man at the exact second I'm pulling my shorts back up.  Holy crap, I was in big trouble, I could feel it!  Maybe he didn't see it, he was really old (about 30 I think) so he'll probably just keep pulling up the driveway.  

No such luck!  That old man caught on quick.  He jumped out of his car (who knew an old guy could move that quickly?) and stomped over to us and demanded to know what was happening.  I remained quiet and quickly hid my money.  It was my money, I had earned it!  Now if you are in my age bracket you can remember that "look" that only a father could give that would instill fear in the hearts of all children.  He gave that look.  One of the boys folded and told him what had happened.  Oh he was mad, no mad is quite an understatement.  This man was livid!  He quickly snatched me up, pulled my pants down and spanked my money maker right there in front of all of those boys.  Then he took MY money and gave it back to the boys and sent them home, promising of course that when he was "through with me", he would be contacting their parents.  They ran, they had MY money!  Bastards!

I remained mad at my father for years over this.  I mean seriously, first the guy pulls down my pants (giving these hooligans a free peep show), then he pops my money maker, then he stole my money and gave it back to them.  Good parenting Dad!  My vision ended there, it was too traumatic, I had to shut it down.  

After this, I began remembering other little events in my life.  I remember my mother getting countless notes from the school, "Mrs. Thompson, Christy is a social butterfly, she flits around the class and we can't get her to stay on task." (I don't even know what this means, how does one without wings flit?  But it must be bad because my Mom still brings it up!).  Other notes saying, "Mrs. Thompson, Christy is a very intelligent little girl, but she will not apply herself."  "Mrs. Thompson, Christy got into a fight with a little boy on the playground today and she will not be allowed to participate in recess for the remainder of the week." (In my defense that little kid wrote my name on the inside of his jean jacket because he liked me and showed all of the other was utterly embarrassing and he had to be punished).  Other things came to mind, but this is as far as I will take you with this because its been a rough day indeed!  

You see, I've just realized that the nut may not fall far from the tree.  Perhaps Little Miss Don't got this from her mother which would be ME!  E-gads this is both disturbing and hopeful all at the same time.  Disturbing in the fact that this little girl might have inherited all of this bad mischievous behavior from me, but hopeful in the fact that she will someday outgrow all of this too!  

I've decided that I will keep this information to myself for now (well I'm telling all of you, but I am NOT telling my husband).  I'm going to test my theory.  Instead of constantly saying "don't", I am going to start asking "why?".  I mean if she is really like me, she might have real motivation and possibly if I can understand her motivation, I can curb her behavior without breaking her spirit or spanking her money maker!  It's worth a shot!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Jump For Joy

My oldest and her BFF....LOVE THIS!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Bug Is Rockin The Beads For Mardi Gras

I'm REALLY late for this I know, but had to share.  Life has been over-the-top hectic lately.  Last weekend the Mardi Gras celebration kicked off here on the island and since Bug is all about the bling, she's enjoying every minute of it! She is not only rockin the beads, she is always rockin that attitude!

And yes, I know there is way too much crap on my counter, read my previous post and you will understand.  Like I said, very hectic lately....VERY!
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