And It’s My Birthday…So What?

There comes a point in our lives when we’re over birthdays. That point seemingly is when we start descending the hill. That downhill point is different in all of our minds I suppose. 

Back in 1992, we encountered death watch 25. Meaning, I was turning 25 and everyone was worried. I was not ready to be an adult, and to me 25 is the real age of adulthood. I had a 4 year old at that point, but I still wasn’t ready to be “grown”. My friends threw me a huge block party and my mom checked in regularly. It was that bad!

I made it through. Then came 30. That really wasn’t so bad. I had 2 little girls  and I had told myself that if my then husband hadn’t straightened his shit out by then, I was leaving. I did it! The girls and I were alone, but I was grown and I felt empowered. I got my belly button pierced, I went out to a bar, and I WAS the dancing queen that night (if you’re singing Abba songs now…you’re welcome)

Then just before my 35th birthday, I met my husband. The man you know as B. The man I know as B, or baby, or call me maybe. The father of my 2 youngest children. That was a good year.

And the years have been flying by. There have been major ups, there have been major downs. But all the while, I’ve been living this life and trying to enjoy the little moments and trying NOT to dwell on all the bad crap. 

So here I am. I’m seeing happy birthday messages on FB. My friends are awesome. I should feel happy. But today, this very birthday, is the day the birthday celebrations stop. Today, I cross the line. Today, I descend. Today is the first day of the 2nd half of my life. 

We all have different ideas for mid life. B thinks he’s already hit it even though he’s ten years younger than me. I’m still in denial. It’s conceivable to live to 90. It’s actually common place. Therefore, 45 is middle aged. I was fine until this point. 

Today, I head down the hill. I’m sad. I’m on the back side of over and out. I’m the mother of a 4 year old but my life is more than half way over. I hope to see my grandchildren born. I hope to live for another 45 years. I hope this feeling of sadness and depression (and feeling old as crap) fades. 

I guess I should be happy that I made it over the hill. I have friends that have not been this lucky. BUT I’m saddened and just want to ignore the day  (and the fact that I’m old as crap) completely.  

So thank you if you wish me a happy birthday, but please don’t be offended if I don’t reply. I’m not happy about this and I’d much rather turn back the hands of time, like to 1980-something!

Unhappy birthday to me. Sorry to be such a negative pants here, but it is what it is. Nails in the coffin…I don’t feel as happy about this over the hill birthday as I’ve felt about those in the past. Next year will be better. I’ll have grown accustomed to “old age”. But for now, I pout. I’m old. 

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to. 

So I’m 2…What’s Your Excuse?

Today, I’m 2. Well my blog is anyway, I *might* be a little bit older than that. SHUSH! No big deal right? WRONG! I’m 2! I’ve been doing this little bloggy thing for 2 whole years and that’s kind of a big deal!
You see, if you bother to Google it (which is really important to do because you should believe everything you read on the internet), you’d know that the average life a blog is not a healthy number. Estimates lead me to believe that it is somewhere around 44 days. 44 days? Seriously, they couldn’t even plug away for 2 months? WOW!
Anyway, back to me, because that’s how I roll. Back in November of 2010, I was coerced in to starting my little tiny corner of the internet and I was diggin’ it. I kept plugging away, writing from my heart about stupid crap that people were reading. Why they were reading it, I’ll never know, but reading it they (you, thank you very much) were so I kept at it. And I’ve been doing this for a full 2 years now and I’m kind of proud of my little sparkly corner. 
Sometimes, I just rant, but people visit. Sometimes I rant in the closet and you don’t even know it. You couldn’t even imagine how many posts I have unpublished because they aren’t fit for human (or humanities’) consumption. But this spot, or dot, or whatever you want to call it, is mine. And I’m thankful every day that people come to visit me and I’m not ready to give up yet!
So this week, we will celebrate my toddlerhood. There will be giveaways (yea, I know I never do those, but I’m stepping outside of my little black box) and there will be prizes for those of you that have stuck by me through this incredible venture in my life! It’s been fun and I hope to be doing this 20 years from now. Heck, as long as you let me talk, I’m gonna do it! If you know me, you know this to be truth. 
So please be sure to stop back by this week for the festivities that are my “birth” week. And a HUGE thank you to all of you that have supported me over the past 2 years. Y’all are what make me sparkle and I appreciate you more than you know!
And to be honest, I’m glad I’m 2. It gives me an excuse to act out. What’s your excuse?  

We’re One! Happy 1st Blogiversary to Me!

WOW!  I’m ONE!  Well, actually I’m not one (I’m about 20 or so years older than that) but my blog is!  I can hardly believe that this journey has survived an entire year.  

A little over a year ago, I was unemployed and a Facebook junkie staying at home with my babies.  I wasn’t particularly unhappy, but we as a family were broke!  Then a life-long friend approached me.  She said I was funny, she said I was a good writer, she encouraged me to start a blog.  A what I said.  A blog, you can do this and you can be successful and continue to stay at home!  I was intrigued and on November 13, 2010, with a LOT of help, Insanity Is Not An Option was born.  It debuted with a post about parenting entitled Parenting Is Rough and a couple of people read it so I was encouraged and continued to plug away.  
I continued to rant and people continued to read.  WOW crazy!  A month or so after I started this venture, I posted The Top 10 Most Annoying Facebook Personality Types and by this time, people were finding my blog by searching Google!  Holy can this be true?  Yup so I plugged away and y’all let me rant.  Can you say FABULOUS?  Well I sure can (5 times fast even)!
I don’t have a huge blog, but I truly am digging this gig! I love my followers (again, can’t thank the 12 of you enough…YOU ROCK), and this journey has been amazing!  It has stressed me out at times, I’ve wanted to quit, I think I even cried once or 100 times!  But now, after a year, I’m happy to be where I’m at and I’m glad I stuck it out.
I have no great wisdom to offer, no grand prizes, just a sincere thank you and a list of the top 10 things I love about what I do and the people that have supported me.  So without further ado, my top 10:
#10 – There a gazillion and 50 blogs on the web, and people actually choose to read mine!
#9 – I get to rant, rave, and review and no one can tell me to shut up!  Well they can, but I don’t have to listen!
#8 – I’m my own boss!
#7 – I write what I want PERIOD!  
#6 – If people don’t like what I write, they don’t have to read it.  It’s not like a report at work.  It’s just my life!  SCORE!

#5 – After about 6 months, I began making money while staying at home, doing what I love….WRITING!
#4 – I get to stay at home with my babies!
#3 – I’ve found some really great new friends in the blogisphere!
#2 – My husband and my children for supporting me in my efforts, as I stress, as I cry, as I’m ready to give up, they have encouraged me.  They are my foundation and without them I am nothing!
And the #1 thing I am thankful for on this (one day late to my own party) blogiversary is….

#1 – Jules at A Little Bite of LifeWithout her encouragement, without her help, and without her support along the way (and that occasional hanky), I wouldn’t have held out.  I would have packed up my blog and gone back to work.  I would have left my children in a day care center.  
So raise a glass, toast a toast, and let’s celebrate!  I’m one and I’m thankful!  Thank y’all for this sparkly year!  And MANY MORE!