Why I Hate Everything About Fall

Fall, everyone’s favorite season, but it’s not mine, at all. The season of changing leaves, sweaters, pumpkins, apples, everything autumn? I hate everything about fall for so many reasons!

Fall, everyone's favorite season, but it's not. The season of changing leaves, sweaters, pumpkins, apples, everything autumn? I hate everything about fall for so many reasons!

Fall…it’s my nemesis. I know, I know…you LOVE it. The “beautiful” colors of the changing leaves. The pumpkin spiced everything. The apples. The crisp, clean air. The sweaters. What’s not to love, right? Everyone’s favorite season, but it’s not. *GASP* I know I’m not alone. Fall is not a beautiful, nor a happy, season in any way and I’m so clueless as to how so many people are brainwashed by it’s non-beauty. I hate everything about fall, and if you really think about it, so do a lot of you. Let me explain.

1. Fall is the Season of Death

Those changing leaves you love? That’s LIVE foliage DYING. Death. Fall is the season of death. Do you really, really love watching things die? I think we all fear death, try to avoid it at any cost imaginable. Why would we really celebrate it? I don’t know either, but you fall lovers sure do! Wanna rethink that?

Fall, everyone's favorite season, but it's not. The season of changing leaves, sweaters, pumpkins, apples, everything autumn? I hate everything about fall for so many reasons!

2. Pumpkin Spice Everything

I hate pumpkin spice. The coffee, the pasta (shudder), the desserts, all of it. Cut open a pumpkin RIGHT NOW! How does it smell? Do you love it? Nope. It’s got a rotten smell from the get go. It’s stringy and seedy. But you allowed a coffee chain to convince you that the fake flavor they gave this (should have been left as a jack-o-lantern and roasted seed producer) fruit rule three full months of your life. As a marketer, I’m impressed. As a human, I gag. Just say no to pumpkin spice!

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3. Halloween Weather

O.M.G. how I love Halloween (this year was ridiculously fun!). But the weather is less than impressive. It’s unpredictable and costume wearing is difficult. Wanna be a princess? Better have some heavy leggings and a sweater to go with that…just in case (which will not look princess-y at all). Going to a party as a smexy kitty cat? Better wear a foxy coat! If you’re ready for your eskimo costume, you might have to trim it down because it could be as hot as hades outside. Hello, fall…this is fun!

4. Apple Season

Look! This might be the biggest debate and the TRUTH might surprise you. Apple season is not a passage of fall that everyone should savor. I can get apples all. damned. year. long at Kroger. They’re good. They’re crisp. All. damned. year. long. I don’t need fall for this. Your case is closed.

5. Fall-Hater Haters

Here’s the thing…you, you know who you are, keep sharing things with me in private, on my Facebook wall, in the mail, that pertain to my hatred of pumpkin and fall everything. Do you really think that’s cute, amusing, or unique? It’s annoying AF. Can’t you just leave me alone in my misery without rubbing salted caramel lattes into my wounds? We’re friends, right?

So, do you really love fall that much? Is it really everyone’s favorite season? A whole heck of a lot of us like spring (think NEW life, not death) and summer (ahhh, the season of sunshine and flip flops)…a whole heck of a lot. Maybe, just maybe, those are everyone’s favorite seasons. I truly hate everything about fall (except for Halloween of course). How about you?

Hate Begets Hate: Let’s Stop the Cycle Now

Hate begets hate, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

hate begets hate

I’m about to step out of my comfort zone. I don’t “do” politics. I don’t discuss ugly things. It’s about time I discuss both of those things, and so I shall. I have opinions that I keep to myself, because I should. While I watch the world around me shatter, I keep my mouth shut. Because I should. But I have six children, and I really should not keep my mouth shut anymore because their future depends on me. On my opinions. On my actions. And so tonight, I step out of my comfort zone, and I speak my mind.

Anger is the route of all evil. Not guns. Not bombs. Not the angry acts of terrorists. Anger. External and internal anger will destroy this world. It has destroyed our parent’s past, and it will destroy our children’s future. Unless we put an end to it today! TODAY!!!

Anger begets anger. Violence begets violence.

By sensationalizing extremists and bigots daily, especially with the power of social media, we promote future catastrophic events. WE, as a society with the power of social media, have made bombers who target babies, bigots with guns who target certain races or people of different sexual orientations from our own, into heroes. HEROES. You, we, have made them heroes to other angry people with similarly insane minds think that they can be heroes too. We sensationalize them, the insane. We promote a future of insanity.

Stop it.

Stop posting about it. Stop talking about it. Never forget. Never stop thinking of ways to stop these extremists, but stop making the others think that if they do the same, they’ll be just as “famous” as their predecessors.

Stop.

Maybe you’re the problem. Fame is what they seek. They are haters. Hatred in carnate. You’ve made them stars. You’ve made the “others” think they can be famous too!

Not to make light of the current situation in this country, and others, but can’t we make unicorns famous? Can’t we promote the presence of mythical creatures that fart rainbows for a change? Ignore the hatred, not the loss of life of course, but not make the rapists, the judges that make poor rulings, the bastards that blow up churches, and the bastards that kill our brothers just for hanging out in a bar, heroes?

It takes a village, people. Our country should converge and be the village that fixes this fucked up world that we live in. Love over hate.

Love over hate.

Stop propagating their hatred. Stop forming future killers by making their predecessors heroes. STOP talking about them. Instead, let’s talk about how beautiful their victims were. Let’s put the asshats in the shadows by not acknowledging them at all. If we act like they don’t exist, maybe they’ll stop existing?

It’s not the guns. It’s not the bombs. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bomb or a gun act on its own. It’s the haters that need to go. Let’s make them go away.

My heart is heavy. I’m sorry for the loss of life, so many lives, over the past 2o or so years. I want it to stop. Can you please stop making these people feel like heroes on social media? The things you say today might be creating the monsters of tomorrow. You have nobel intentions, I know, but have you thought about the future you might be creating with your reaction to their hatred?

Anger begets anger, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Life Lessons Learned from a Family Reunion at My House

Family. It’s complicated, especially when you grow up. Everyone moves on. Life goes on. You call each other. You text. You share Facebook space. You love and amuse each other…from a distance. But you don’t share your “space”. There’s a reason for that. You each create your own space, and it’s a beautiful thing. You all have your own rules, again beautiful. But what happens when you try to blend that family back together for an extended visit? CHAOS! That’s what. We, my family, did just that last week and let me share the “life lessons” I learned from this family reunion at my house.

Galveston Family Visit July 2015

Disclosure: This might piss off some family members, but you know what? They can’t deny truth and I hope they laugh along with me on this one. There was fun, lots of fun, but there was chaos and I learned a lot from Galvestongeddon 2015. 

If you’re planning a family reunion AT YOUR HOUSE any time soon, I urge you to read this list first. Because, for real, it might be rough on you and I think you should know. Like for real, y’all, this visit got cray-cray. Although it was awesome to see everyone, I’m rethinking agreeing to this AT MY HOUSE. So, without further ado…here’s my top 10 learnings from this visit…AT MY HOUSE:

If you're planning a family visit at your house, you need to read this top 10 list first.

  1. My granddaughter is the absolute cutest, funniest, and smartest granddaughter on the entire planet. (Don’t argue with me on that. It won’t go well…for YOU).
  2. Adult siblings, especially 3 strong-headed women, should not spend extended periods of time in the exact same space (think eat, sleep, breathe, and shit people). This is a huge issue if that space happens to be the nit-picky cleaner (nit-picky really sounds better than OCD, no?) of the family’s home.
  3. My babies get along incredibly well with each other when there are other children around, basically because they don’t even speak to one another.
  4. Four kids in one house for 6 days that rarely get to see each other are extremely loud. Sound barriers were broken. I’m sure my fine is in the mail.
  5. Toilet bowl lids should always be closed and toilet paper should always be loaded to the holder flap up. I seriously didn’t realize this was a life lesson, but apparently it is. (For the record, I think this one was my very own daughter…that I raised in my house…with my rules. I fail.)
  6. Both of my older daughters have grown into incredible young women and I’m very proud of both of them despite what some of the haters might say (the haters are not in my family for the record and would never be allowed…IN MY HOUSE).
  7. Celebrating your 12th wedding anniversary during a long visit from your extended family will not go well and you might even end up in a spat. Seriously, don’t let this one happen to you.
  8. Having a bunch of grown women in my house all at one time is kind of like a mini-conference and it’s a sure bet I’ll lose my voice within 2 days. Hello, Kermit.
  9. Family visits and picky eaters I learned the true difference between picky eaters and weird eaters. My family has both. Picky eaters are easier to please than weird eaters. Bubby loves peanut butter. He loves jelly. He will not eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Madi loves sea urchins (shrimp), but will not eat a sandwich. The end.
  10. Above all, I do love my family, all of them, but for future reference, I know that it’s better to rent hotel rooms for all, separately,  in the event that we ever all get together in the same place at the same time again.

I hope you giggled, at least a little bit, at the tale of our fun family reunion (agony) while reading this. I’m sure my sisters hate me right now, but that’s OK. We’re family. That’s what families do. We’ll fuss, we’ll forgive, we’ll share our space again…from a distance. We’re grown and it’s our right to be as dysfunctional as we’d like to be. For the record, this trip was not my plan. Like, I wasn’t involved in the initial planning at all. Y’all can blame B and my sister’s husband (who didn’t show up at all, he’s a brilliant man for that) for this trip. Thanks, guys. Love and kisses for that. You totally rock, you really do (please feel free to insert a sarcastic tone here). Life is sort of back to normal, and normal is good. I’m wishing the same for my sisters. It’s all good. Really, it’s all good. Despite the problems and fights (really, adult sibling fights are way nastier than childhood sibling fights), it was really good to see my entire family again.