Disappointments Archives - Page 2 of 17 - Insanity Is Not An Option

When Your Daughter Gets Bullied

It’s an ugly world that we’re raising kids in these days. But what do you do when your daughter gets bullied in the 5th grade? Not a little picking, we’re talking full-blown threats to her livelihood. Our experience with bullies in today’s middle school.

I always thought…not my Bug. Who would bully her? I mean, she’s a bad ass so everyone should be scared of her, right? Totally wrong because she’s not a bully…just a bad ass (I say that with love). There’s a difference.

Bad Ass vs Bully: There’s a Difference

A bad ass kid, like my Bug, just does her own thing. She’s not overly nice to others most times, does and says what she wants, and she doesn’t always fit in. She doesn’t usually care. The kid talks back often, refuses to listen (even if it’s for her own good), but she hurts no one really, at least not in a threatening way.

A bully, on the other hand, is a whole different (disgusting) breed. They thrive on drama, chaos, and instilling fear in others. We all know, as adults, that a bully is just a weak person who enjoys intimidating others, but let’s get back to bullying in the 5th grade. A 5th grader (or 6th, 7th, 8th…oh, really through adulthood) bully cares only about himself. The adrenaline rush they get (I suppose) from preying on the fears and vulnerability of others is what fuels their disgraceful fire and they’ll stop at nothing short of a scared fellow human, a brawl, or unfortunately in our case, a small-scale riot. Bullies are assholes.

Bad ass kids are confused and hormonal. Again, there’s a difference! Neither is OK if you’re a parent, but one is understandable; the other is NOT.

Let’s Talk about Bug’s Bully…

Well, let’s back up first. The bully thing all started when she entered the 5th grade, middle school in our parts. I mean, there were issues in elementary school, of course, but nothing that brought blood-curdling fear into my body and mind. That started here, this year, in the 5th grade. I may be saying in the 5th grade a lot, because that’s important. We all hear of crime every day and as sad as it is, that’s the world we live in. But that crime comes out of poverty, ignorance, adulthood…right? WRONG! Apparently it happens in 5th grade now, and I’ve had enough!

Where it all began…

There was a girl in gym class who didn’t like my Bug. I mean, I get it, we don’t all have to like everyone. Dodgeball was a target session against my daughter. Basketball games were a game of dodgeball for my daughter. It just didn’t stop. We went to the office and reported it. It stopped. Not sure if that girl got in trouble or not, don’t care, but it stopped. Whew!

Fast forward two weeks…Bug had an issue with a kid in gym class. He’d been unkind to her all through elementary school (which I knew) and it escalated one day at gym class (notice a theme yet?). He picked, he prodded, she SLAPPED him. OMG…my kid was the bully. But no, she fought back, the school recognized it, she got ISS. She did the crime, she did the time. I supported their decision. The end, or so I thought.

Fast forward yet another week…Bug was now labeled as a “fighter”. It spiraled. The girl that had SPENT THE NIGHT at my house that Saturday, the one that had been friends with Bug since the 2nd grade…yea, that one…got mad at Bug in the hallway over a hug. A HUG by both of their admission. In gym class that day (come on now…you see where the issue is here, right?), this girl…bully…approached Bug. She threw up a hand, a fist, and swung. Bug ducked. The bully provoked her with “hit me, just hit me first so I can hit you and get this over with”. Bug refused (good Bug!) and the kids, the bully’s thugs, started chanting to provoke a fight! The gym teacher gave both girls in-class ISS, the vice principal talked to them. That was it. So we thought.

The next morning, Bug sat far away from the girl she formerly called friend. Didn’t work. Her big sister (yes, 7th graders can seem very intimidating and a lot bigger to 5th graders) approached her and said,

Leave my fucking sister alone. Just wait until I catch you in the bathroom alone because I’m gonna FUCK YOU UP!

Let that sink in.

She said it low, but it was in a room full of students and administrators. She wasn’t scared of getting in trouble. She was bullying my daughter. In the adult world, that’s a terroristic threat punishable by law. In the world of the middle school bullies, it’s nothin’ but a thang.

I seriously need for you to let that sink in!

I got a text from my daughter within five seconds of the incident. My bad ass kid was scared, as was I. Have you seen the Lifetime movies where one high school girl (they haven’t made one about middle school YET) gets mad at another so she gets a group of friends together and they take the other girl in the bathroom and start to beat her just to scare her, but things go too far and that girl hits her head on the sink and dies then everyone’s sorry? Yea, I’ve seen them too and that’s all I saw in my head that very second I got the message from my daughter.

Might sound a little dramatic, but is it really? Not in my head. Not on the news!

What to Do When Your Daughter Gets Bullied?

My reaction was to immediately call the school and insist (NO I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY ARE IN A MORNING MEETING) that I speak with someone immediately. I got the counselor. Very kind, very understanding, very empathetic, but her daughter hadn’t just been threatened. She would do something RIGHT AWAY and call me right back. Seconds turned into minutes, turned into hours, turned into a return call. She’d “handled” it. The bully and her bully sister have a rough life (I know this!) and they’re sorry. Of course they’re sorry they got caught! You know, getting caught for telling someone you’ll FUCK THEM UP is a big deal.

The girls can never speak to Bug again. Did I want to push ISS? No, what good does that do? Oh nothing you say…yea, me too, but my daughter “served her time”. Whatever. Stop the bullying!

That wasn’t the last instance. New girl, different day, same gym class, fat lip from a slap. The thing is, bullying, threatening (KILLING) in schools, even middle schools, these days is a thing. How did we get to this place? How did we let this world break like this? When, where did it happen and how in the hell do we just make it stop?

My daughter doesn’t deserve to be bullied, neither does anyone else’s daughter or son. What are we going to do? What do you do when your daughter or son gets bullied? Bug’s a very different person now than she was when she entered 5th grade. It’s heartbreaking and I need to do more; we all need to do more!

Why I Hate Everything About Fall

By Christy Leave a Comment

Fall, everyone’s favorite season, but it’s not mine, at all. The season of changing leaves, sweaters, pumpkins, apples, everything autumn? I hate everything about fall for so many reasons!

Fall…it’s my nemesis. I know, I know…you LOVE it. The “beautiful” colors of the changing leaves. The pumpkin spiced everything. The apples. The crisp, clean air. The sweaters. What’s not to love, right? Everyone’s favorite season, but it’s not. *GASP* I know I’m not alone. Fall is not a beautiful, nor a happy, season in any way and I’m so clueless as to how so many people are brainwashed by it’s non-beauty. I hate everything about fall, and if you really think about it, so do a lot of you. Let me explain.

1. Fall is the Season of Death

Those changing leaves you love? That’s LIVE foliage DYING. Death. Fall is the season of death. Do you really, really love watching things die? I think we all fear death, try to avoid it at any cost imaginable. Why would we really celebrate it? I don’t know either, but you fall lovers sure do! Wanna rethink that?

2. Pumpkin Spice Everything

I hate pumpkin spice. The coffee, the pasta (shudder), the desserts, all of it. Cut open a pumpkin RIGHT NOW! How does it smell? Do you love it? Nope. It’s got a rotten smell from the get go. It’s stringy and seedy. But you allowed a coffee chain to convince you that the fake flavor they gave this (should have been left as a jack-o-lantern and roasted seed producer) fruit rule three full months of your life. As a marketer, I’m impressed. As a human, I gag. Just say no to pumpkin spice!

3. Halloween Weather

O.M.G. how I love Halloween (this year was ridiculously fun!). But the weather is less than impressive. It’s unpredictable and costume wearing is difficult. Wanna be a princess? Better have some heavy leggings and a sweater to go with that…just in case (which will not look princess-y at all). Going to a party as a smexy kitty cat? Better wear a foxy coat! If you’re ready for your eskimo costume, you might have to trim it down because it could be as hot as hades outside. Hello, fall…this is fun!

4. Apple Season

Look! This might be the biggest debate and the TRUTH might surprise you. Apple season is not a passage of fall that everyone should savor. I can get apples all. damned. year. long at Kroger. They’re good. They’re crisp. All. damned. year. long. I don’t need fall for this. Your case is closed.

5. Fall-Hater Haters

Here’s the thing…you, you know who you are, keep sharing things with me in private, on my Facebook wall, in the mail, that pertain to my hatred of pumpkin and fall everything. Do you really think that’s cute, amusing, or unique? It’s annoying AF. Can’t you just leave me alone in my misery without rubbing salted caramel lattes into my wounds? We’re friends, right?

So, do you really love fall that much? Is it really everyone’s favorite season? A whole heck of a lot of us like spring (think NEW life, not death) and summer (ahhh, the season of sunshine and flip flops)…a whole heck of a lot. Maybe, just maybe, those are everyone’s favorite seasons. I truly hate everything about fall (except for Halloween of course). How about you?

Hate Begets Hate: Let’s Stop the Cycle Now

By Christy 2 Comments

Hate begets hate, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

I’m about to step out of my comfort zone. I don’t “do” politics. I don’t discuss ugly things. It’s about time I discuss both of those things, and so I shall. I have opinions that I keep to myself, because I should. While I watch the world around me shatter, I keep my mouth shut. Because I should. But I have six children, and I really should not keep my mouth shut anymore because their future depends on me. On my opinions. On my actions. And so tonight, I step out of my comfort zone, and I speak my mind.

Anger is the route of all evil. Not guns. Not bombs. Not the angry acts of terrorists. Anger. External and internal anger will destroy this world. It has destroyed our parent’s past, and it will destroy our children’s future. Unless we put an end to it today! TODAY!!!

Anger begets anger. Violence begets violence.

By sensationalizing extremists and bigots daily, especially with the power of social media, we promote future catastrophic events. WE, as a society with the power of social media, have made bombers who target babies, bigots with guns who target certain races or people of different sexual orientations from our own, into heroes. HEROES. You, we, have made them heroes to other angry people with similarly insane minds think that they can be heroes too. We sensationalize them, the insane. We promote a future of insanity.

Stop it.

Stop posting about it. Stop talking about it. Never forget. Never stop thinking of ways to stop these extremists, but stop making the others think that if they do the same, they’ll be just as “famous” as their predecessors.

Stop.

Maybe you’re the problem. Fame is what they seek. They are haters. Hatred in carnate. You’ve made them stars. You’ve made the “others” think they can be famous too!

Not to make light of the current situation in this country, and others, but can’t we make unicorns famous? Can’t we promote the presence of mythical creatures that fart rainbows for a change? Ignore the hatred, not the loss of life of course, but not make the rapists, the judges that make poor rulings, the bastards that blow up churches, and the bastards that kill our brothers just for hanging out in a bar, heroes?

It takes a village, people. Our country should converge and be the village that fixes this fucked up world that we live in. Love over hate.

Love over hate.

Stop propagating their hatred. Stop forming future killers by making their predecessors heroes. STOP talking about them. Instead, let’s talk about how beautiful their victims were. Let’s put the asshats in the shadows by not acknowledging them at all. If we act like they don’t exist, maybe they’ll stop existing?

It’s not the guns. It’s not the bombs. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bomb or a gun act on its own. It’s the haters that need to go. Let’s make them go away.

My heart is heavy. I’m sorry for the loss of life, so many lives, over the past 2o or so years. I want it to stop. Can you please stop making these people feel like heroes on social media? The things you say today might be creating the monsters of tomorrow. You have nobel intentions, I know, but have you thought about the future you might be creating with your reaction to their hatred?

Anger begets anger, violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the powers of love. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.