Do you remember the minute you fell in love? The minute you knew HE was the one? I do. It was one day in 2003. I’d been in “love” before. But it wasn’t real love. It didn’t have staying power. It was fleeting and those relationships didn’t last. Not even the one that produced 2 beautiful children. It wasn’t “real”.
I met B in 2002 and it was meant to be a fling. He was 11 years my junior. He had his kids, I had mine. We just wanted a companion that didn’t want anything lasting. Just a break from reality. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. He wasn’t supposed to tell me that. I felt it then, but I didn’t admit it. That’s not what we were about.
But I remember the day I admitted it freely and willingly like it was yesterday. Something in the way the sun shone on him, something in the way his eyes twinkled, something in the way he made me rethink love. It was that day that I felt a forever love, a love that would withstand the troubles and trials in life, the love that would withstand the test of time. No matter what.
That “no matter what” has been truly tested over the past 12 years. He’s tested it way more than I have. But the day I decided to truly “love” him, I decided that this time, I’d learn true love, understanding, and the hardest part of all, forgiveness. Because this man? He was worth it.
And he is. Despite our troubles, this man is the man I want (NEED) to spend the rest of my life with. We just recently celebrated 11 years of marriage, but I see it more as celebrating 11 years of staying power. Marriage, relationships, are rough. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is either lying to you, or lying to themselves. There are always problems when you decide to spend the rest of your life with just one person. Always. But when you decide to love, accept, and occasionally forgive? That’s when you can find true happiness. It’s work!
Sometimes, when you find the “one”, there’s occasional pain. But when you actually do find the “ONE”, there’s always so much more pleasure than pain so it’s totally worth it. It’s worth the “work” involved in making a real relationship, in fostering that forever love. Nothing is easy in life. NOTHING. If you have staying power, if you find the ONE, stick it out. Work on it. Continue to work on it each and every day. Don’t ever forget why you fell in love. Don’t ever forget the moment that brought you to this point. Don’t ever forget to tell the one you love how much you love and appreciate them. Just keep working.
Happiness is possible and I’ve found happiness through the occasional trials and tribulations. I’ve also found that all of this “work” is totally worthwhile. I love being in love and I love the life I’m living. It’s not all work so I’m happy to put in the time to enjoy the roses on any given Tuesday, the unspoken “looks”, and the memories we’re making while we constantly “work” on us.
It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. And quite honestly, “The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me.”.