Moms Archives - Page 3 of 41 - Insanity Is Not An Option

When Your Daughter Gets Bullied

It’s an ugly world that we’re raising kids in these days. But what do you do when your daughter gets bullied in the 5th grade? Not a little picking, we’re talking full-blown threats to her livelihood. Our experience with bullies in today’s middle school.

I always thought…not my Bug. Who would bully her? I mean, she’s a bad ass so everyone should be scared of her, right? Totally wrong because she’s not a bully…just a bad ass (I say that with love). There’s a difference.

Bad Ass vs Bully: There’s a Difference

A bad ass kid, like my Bug, just does her own thing. She’s not overly nice to others most times, does and says what she wants, and she doesn’t always fit in. She doesn’t usually care. The kid talks back often, refuses to listen (even if it’s for her own good), but she hurts no one really, at least not in a threatening way.

A bully, on the other hand, is a whole different (disgusting) breed. They thrive on drama, chaos, and instilling fear in others. We all know, as adults, that a bully is just a weak person who enjoys intimidating others, but let’s get back to bullying in the 5th grade. A 5th grader (or 6th, 7th, 8th…oh, really through adulthood) bully cares only about himself. The adrenaline rush they get (I suppose) from preying on the fears and vulnerability of others is what fuels their disgraceful fire and they’ll stop at nothing short of a scared fellow human, a brawl, or unfortunately in our case, a small-scale riot. Bullies are assholes.

Bad ass kids are confused and hormonal. Again, there’s a difference! Neither is OK if you’re a parent, but one is understandable; the other is NOT.

Let’s Talk about Bug’s Bully…

Well, let’s back up first. The bully thing all started when she entered the 5th grade, middle school in our parts. I mean, there were issues in elementary school, of course, but nothing that brought blood-curdling fear into my body and mind. That started here, this year, in the 5th grade. I may be saying in the 5th grade a lot, because that’s important. We all hear of crime every day and as sad as it is, that’s the world we live in. But that crime comes out of poverty, ignorance, adulthood…right? WRONG! Apparently it happens in 5th grade now, and I’ve had enough!

Where it all began…

There was a girl in gym class who didn’t like my Bug. I mean, I get it, we don’t all have to like everyone. Dodgeball was a target session against my daughter. Basketball games were a game of dodgeball for my daughter. It just didn’t stop. We went to the office and reported it. It stopped. Not sure if that girl got in trouble or not, don’t care, but it stopped. Whew!

Fast forward two weeks…Bug had an issue with a kid in gym class. He’d been unkind to her all through elementary school (which I knew) and it escalated one day at gym class (notice a theme yet?). He picked, he prodded, she SLAPPED him. OMG…my kid was the bully. But no, she fought back, the school recognized it, she got ISS. She did the crime, she did the time. I supported their decision. The end, or so I thought.

Fast forward yet another week…Bug was now labeled as a “fighter”. It spiraled. The girl that had SPENT THE NIGHT at my house that Saturday, the one that had been friends with Bug since the 2nd grade…yea, that one…got mad at Bug in the hallway over a hug. A HUG by both of their admission. In gym class that day (come on now…you see where the issue is here, right?), this girl…bully…approached Bug. She threw up a hand, a fist, and swung. Bug ducked. The bully provoked her with “hit me, just hit me first so I can hit you and get this over with”. Bug refused (good Bug!) and the kids, the bully’s thugs, started chanting to provoke a fight! The gym teacher gave both girls in-class ISS, the vice principal talked to them. That was it. So we thought.

The next morning, Bug sat far away from the girl she formerly called friend. Didn’t work. Her big sister (yes, 7th graders can seem very intimidating and a lot bigger to 5th graders) approached her and said,

Leave my fucking sister alone. Just wait until I catch you in the bathroom alone because I’m gonna FUCK YOU UP!

Let that sink in.

She said it low, but it was in a room full of students and administrators. She wasn’t scared of getting in trouble. She was bullying my daughter. In the adult world, that’s a terroristic threat punishable by law. In the world of the middle school bullies, it’s nothin’ but a thang.

I seriously need for you to let that sink in!

I got a text from my daughter within five seconds of the incident. My bad ass kid was scared, as was I. Have you seen the Lifetime movies where one high school girl (they haven’t made one about middle school YET) gets mad at another so she gets a group of friends together and they take the other girl in the bathroom and start to beat her just to scare her, but things go too far and that girl hits her head on the sink and dies then everyone’s sorry? Yea, I’ve seen them too and that’s all I saw in my head that very second I got the message from my daughter.

Might sound a little dramatic, but is it really? Not in my head. Not on the news!

What to Do When Your Daughter Gets Bullied?

My reaction was to immediately call the school and insist (NO I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY ARE IN A MORNING MEETING) that I speak with someone immediately. I got the counselor. Very kind, very understanding, very empathetic, but her daughter hadn’t just been threatened. She would do something RIGHT AWAY and call me right back. Seconds turned into minutes, turned into hours, turned into a return call. She’d “handled” it. The bully and her bully sister have a rough life (I know this!) and they’re sorry. Of course they’re sorry they got caught! You know, getting caught for telling someone you’ll FUCK THEM UP is a big deal.

The girls can never speak to Bug again. Did I want to push ISS? No, what good does that do? Oh nothing you say…yea, me too, but my daughter “served her time”. Whatever. Stop the bullying!

That wasn’t the last instance. New girl, different day, same gym class, fat lip from a slap. The thing is, bullying, threatening (KILLING) in schools, even middle schools, these days is a thing. How did we get to this place? How did we let this world break like this? When, where did it happen and how in the hell do we just make it stop?

My daughter doesn’t deserve to be bullied, neither does anyone else’s daughter or son. What are we going to do? What do you do when your daughter or son gets bullied? Bug’s a very different person now than she was when she entered 5th grade. It’s heartbreaking and I need to do more; we all need to do more!

What’s Your Outdoor Christmas Decor Theme?

By Christy Leave a Comment

What’s your outdoor Christmas Decor theme? Christmas is the season of magic. Make that magic special for everyone in your family by letting them all have a part in the decorating this year! Just so you know, I did receive fun decor from Oriental Trading® to facilitate this post, but all opinions are entirely my own.

Last year, we lost a lot of our outdoor Christmas decor to four nasty storms in a row blowing through (hello, island living!). It wasn’t very magical, but I was determined to rebuild (dramatic much, Christy?). I pretty much figured since I was starting from ground zero that I could actually create a theme outdoors and I set out on a mission. Inside? I stand my ground. White and blue lights, a well-organized tree, a mantel that I love, an elf that moves while we sleep…the whole nine. Why not do that with my outside Christmas decor theme as well? It all started with a Santa, and surely it would come together as neatly and as perfectly as the indoor decor always does, right?

WRONG! This year (and it was about time, I might add), I decided to include the babies in my decor shopping experience. I’m frugal so I like to bargain shop. Oriental Trading Company is one of my favorite go-to online shops (because I don’t have to leave my house or jammies to shop and it’s affordable) and that’s where I found the inflatable Santa (PS – he can not only hang from the gutter as shown, but he also comes with stakes and can stand up in the yard). From there, I thought we’d stay Santa themed. Bug’s “Letters to Santa” box was a good local find. Then we picked up a flamingo and you can probably see where this is going.

We had Santa up on the rooftop (or falling off, you can look at it as you like), we had the mailbox locked and loaded, and then…a flamingo? Wait, this wasn’t the plan at all!

This is kind of where the madness began.

In the form of a 9′ lighted, animated dragon (his wings really FLAP), a redneck Santa in a pickup with penguins hanging out the windows and stuff (OK, that was my pick to be honest), a daschund for every season, and so much more. Basically, my yard is now a hodge podge of Christmas magic of the most unorthodox (and totally fun to come home to) kind.

Bubby kind of put the icing on the totally-random-I-have-no-theme-to-my-decor cake – so to speak – when he made a plea (OK, he begged) for the narwhal. We all know my favorite Christmas movie is Elf, so I quickly caved and now there’s a narwhal swimming in the ocean (it’s green grass, but you know…it counts). Byyyeee Buddddyyyyy!

So, if you ask me what my Outdoor Christmas Decor Theme is this year, I’m just gonna have to admit…it’s a hodge podge of mismatched, inflatable, fun nonsense, but it works for us, and it truly makes me (and the babies) smile every night. To H. E. double toothpicks with perfection this year. The world’s a mess. Let’s all throw caution to the wind and just have fun again. I’m enjoying seeing my not-so-planned-out decor every day and so can you. Oriental Trading® can help. I’m starting a hot-mess of a movement, who’s with me?

Spark the Magic of Christmas with Santa’s Help

By Christy 1 Comment

Let them be little just a little bit longer. Spark the magic of Christmas in the hearts of your little ones when they receive a Package from Santa this year! You’re never too old to believe in magic! For the record, Bubby did received a Silver Package from Santa to facilitate this post, but the opinions are entirely my own!

I’ve said it time and time again (stay tuned because I’ll say it another time or two before Christmas comes and goes), if you don’t believe, you don’t receive. The end. I want my kids to receive, most of the time they deserve to receive. But that pesky believe thing comes into play now and again and it’s time we all combat the negativity in today’s world and help our kids believe in magic again. Even in today’s society (PS I hate it too), there’s a way to spark the magic of Christmas in your kids’ hearts thanks to Package from Santa!

If you hurry, and you use the code FAMS17 at check out, you can still get your package delivered to your little one from the big guy before Christmas rolls around at a 25% discount – but you have to act by 12/14/17 to get it in time! If you have a little one that you’d just like to thrill or an older child (be still my heart…when did Bubby turn nine?) that you need to bring back to the light side (because elementary school kids are totally ready to grow up and ditch the magic these days), this is the gift you want to give!

The silver package we received delivered an almost instant video to my email box. We loved it! Just a few short days later came a package in a North Pole official envelope with a letter from Santa personalized just for my Bubby, with facts that only Santa (or a doting mom) would know. He loved it. After he read the letter (he literally was pretty mesmerized with the detail), he dug deeper and found more!

He found his nice list certificate. Not a single one of us was surprised. Are you?

A personalized, autographed photo of Santa, the big guy himself!

And the absolute cutest signed photo of Rudolf from when he was a baby. Warms the heart, no? Well, it did mine and it did Bubby’s, and it’s sure to warm the heart of your little too.

What are you waiting for? Need to make a believer out of your little one for just a little bit longer? Hurry up because you only have a couple of days. Visit Package for Santa, follow the simple steps (it really doesn’t take any time at all), enter the code FAMS17 at checkout, and bam, insta magic for Christmastime. Elf status reinstated. Just.like.that!

Merry Christmas, y’all. I hope you all have a season full of love, togetherness, and most of all…magic!