my sparkles Archives - Insanity Is Not An Option

Raising a Tween Girl is Hard, Y’all!

So your daughter’s a tween and you’re ready to pull your hair out. She makes you laugh, she makes you cry. Unfortunately, it’s totally normal! Mom of 6 here to share some lessons (warnings?) you need to know about raising a tween girl!

When did she become a tween?!?

If you’re like me, you’re not sure how it happened. One day your sweet, adorable, innocent baby girl woke up with a mouth full of sass and your whole world changed. And it sure as hell wasn’t for the better! As the mother of six (four of them girls), I’ve been through this before – although not to the level my Bug has taken this phase. I’m here to share a few tips for saving your ever-loving sanity until it all passes. Yes, it passes. Pinky swear!

Encourage her to enjoy her youth!

Remember that time your tween turned 12? Yes, the epitome of tweendom. Stuck smack dab in between being a little girl and a full-fledge teen? Yea, that birthday! Kylee turned 12 in September. She felt she was too old for a party. Didn’t think the cake and candle lighting really suited her maturity level. Surprise gifts are for babies; gift cards are better suited for tweens, of course. All of those things – every single one of them – are for babies. You know what? I didn’t listen (I rarely do when it’s for the better good).

I sent her on her way with her older sister, and her dad and I decorated her entire room in Paris-themed decor (note: I respected her desire to travel one day, but still did the whole surprise thing). She was thrilled when she got home!

I invited her BFF to come over for dinner, cake, and spend the night. It was a welcome surprise!

I ordered the unicorn cake, paid way too much for it, and the smile on her face was worth every penny. She still loves unicorns – so do I – and I just want to encourage her to enjoy the magical things in life as long as she can before this whole ridiculous world tries to cut her down as I know it will.

Not what you say, how you say it!

I need for you to let this one sink in. Say it with me…it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it! This goes for both of you…every day…all the time. Raising a tween girl is hard, y’all. So, so hard.

When that sassy mouth opens, you just never know what’s going to come out. Whether it’s something a teacher said at school today, an outfit gone wrong, a ponytail that just won’t go up exactly right (this one causes MELT DOWNS in my house), it’s not what she’s saying that is always the issue, it’s typically HOW she’s saying it. Your tween (like mine) can tell you about a great accomplishment and make you walk away feeling like you just got run over by a bus. Because…attitude.

Be her biggest fan!

Remind her that you are there to share in her joys, accomplishments, fears, successes, and failures – that you’re her biggest fan. Then remind her that if she’d tell you all of those things in her non-bitch voice (probably not the best words to use!), you’d be more attentive because we all really want to be attentive and involved in our kids’ lives no matter what!

But the same goes for you (yes, mom and dad, I’m eyeballing you!). Just because your tween daughter has a sassy mouth does NOT mean you can retaliate with more sass than she could ever muster (because, let’s face it, we’ve got all the experience). First, let me point out that it’s totally acceptable to roll your eyes – I, myself, am a master. It’s totally not OK to sass back. I’m as guilty as the rest, but truly have never seen a positive outcome from our sass-fests and so, I try to avoid them. Instead, I walk away until she gets the hint. I take her phone. No, you can’t go to your friends house. I do all the things an adult should do until she relents. We both win and it typically results in laughter and silliness – both of which are my favorite things to enjoy with my tween!

Promote positivity!

Whether your daughter is into sports, cheer, singing, dancing, theater, leadership…it doesn’t matter. If it’s a positive force in her life, encourage it! Make yourself available. I know you’re busy – we all are these days – but you can be there to get her to practice on time, to cheer her on, to just show you care. That goes a long way; I know from experience.

In high school, I cheered. I loved to cheer. We had buses back then to drive us home from practice so my parents didn’t need to be involved there (lucky bastards!). I will tell you though, although I had very loving and supportive parents, I can count on one hand the number of times they came to watch me cheer. I never told them it hurt to look up and not see them, but it did. When I walk into the stadium where Bug is cheering, I make sure I walk right by her and wave before taking a seat. She always smiles the biggest smile. That gesture can move mountains during a very uncertain time in their lives. Just be present! It matters!

Embrace her individuality!

You do you, Boo! That’s kind of overused by now, but it totally applies when you’re raising a tween girl. Encourage her to be unique. It’s important for girls at this age to “fit in”, but they sure as hell don’t have to be Stepford kids and it’s our job to help them understand that. My Kylee is unique, very much so, and she’s learned to accept the person that she is and actually love herself. She has her moments of doubt, but it’s in those moments that I make sure I’m there, encouraging my unicorn, and guiding her into her next magical phase in life.

Best parenting award goes to…

Am I saying I’m the world’s best parent and I have this tween parenting thing down? Hell, no! I fail at the above from time and time, and I get so frustrated with my daughter that I wonder why I ever decided to have so many damned kids. But then I look at her and I realize that although she’s going through this difficult phase and she’s stuck between a woman and a child – so to speak – she’s doing OK. She’s got A’s and B’s in school (go Bug!), she’s a cheerleader and she’s good at it, she’s first chair bassoon in the school band, and her teachers really seem to like her. That’s how I measure success. So am I the world’s best parent? Not even close. Am I doing well raising a tween girl? You bet your ass I am!

Good luck to you and yours. Believe me, the years will pass, you’ll both forget how incredibly trying this brief period was, and believe it or not, you’ll become best friends again some day. It all happens in the blink of an eye. Enjoy every second and for heaven’s sake…DON’T BLINK!

New Beginnings + Package from Santa

By Christy Leave a Comment

Thank you to US Family Guide and Package from Santa for facilitating this post. All opinions are my own.

If you need to spark the magic of Christmas for a child this year, Package From Santa is the personalized gift you need! The holidays can be rough on the psyche, especially for those struggling, gift the magic of Christmas to help them believe again!

Do they know it’s Christmas time?

The holidays can be difficult for many. In some ways, I think it’s hard on all of us (even those of us who love Christmas). We hold ourselves to some sort of standard where we feel we have to buy the best gifts, hang up the most lights in the neighborhood, have the most festive wardrobe. Whatever those standards are, I believe we all (myself so totally included!) set the bar a little too high. Sure, we have good reason. Everyone should feel the magic of Christmas. Every little (and big) face should light up Christmas morning. Everything should be PERFECT!

But for some, like my oldest daughter, there are more worries and stressors than there are for others and all I want this year for Christmas is for my daughter and my grandson to truly feel the magic of Christmas. This year, as in years past, Package from Santa is helping me do just that affordably (especially with a 25% discount for entering FAM2060 at checkout).

New beginnings are magical!

Let me back up a bit to explain the importance of this year’s Package from Santa to you. A little over a year ago, my oldest daughter became a mom. The birth of baby Wyatt, her first and only child, was magical. I know because I was in the room. But life on the inside isn’t always as magical behind closed doors. My baby, who had moved to Texas from Georgia with her then boyfriend (I never liked him!), were going to get jobs and settle in before the baby was born. Life had other plans for Bryana and Wyatt and they embarked on this journey alone, much for the better! But when the baby was born, she had no job, no real home (of course she’s ALWAYS welcome in my home!), and really no direction other than to try to make it and be happy.

New beginnings mean new traditions!

Fast forward to present day. Bry and Wyatt have their own cute apartment, she works a full time (and more often than not, overtime) job, and she goes to school on the weekends. They’re making ends meet, they have a roof over their heads, they eat well, they have us when they need support, and they’re happy. But funds for extras, like holidays, are limited so we, as a collective family, do all that we can to make sure that Wyatt feels all of the magic of Christmas that a good (OK, he’s mischievous and into everything, but…) boy should. We do whatever we can for every other holiday, but Christmas – my very favorite holiday – should be the most magical of all and there’s nothing like a personalized Package from Santa to spark that magic!

What do you get when you order?

Joy! You get so much joy, wonder, laughter, and magic! For just $24.95 (if you act NOW – by 12/14/18 – you can get an additional 25% off with code FAM2060), you can order the Silver Package and get:

Letter from Santa Claus, personalized just for your child
Personalized Nice List Certificate – 8 1/2 X 11 photo of Santa Claus
Santa Flight Plan with your child’s picture and personalized based on their region
Special North Pole Shipping Label addressed to your child
Genuine North Pole Stamp
A bonus personalized Video Greeting from Santa!
Added bonus! Personalized Call from Santa
But wait…there’s more! Personalized Printable Nice List Guide

Smiles are priceless, magic is golden!

Not only is the online ordering process easy, it lets you customize your letter, your nice list certificate, your flight plan, and your video with pictures you send of your own little one.

So what are you waiting for?

Do you have someone on your nice list this year that could use a little magic in their lives? Head over to Package for Santa, customize your order, enter code FAM2060 at check out for 25% off, and your video will be delivered to your email probably on the same day. Then you’ll get your package – straight from the big guy at the North Pole himself – quicker than you can say cotton headed ninny muggins 10 times fast (OK, I exaggerate, but it’s super quick!).

Give the gift of magic, my friends, at Christmas and all throughout the year. You never know what someone else might be going through just by looking at them and just a little bit of magic can go a very long way! Merry Christmas, y’all! I hope it’s your best one ever!

When Your Baby Girl Turns 11…Let Her Shine!

By Christy Leave a Comment

This little girl of mine, I’m gonna let her shine. Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine. Bug turns 11 today and it’s a big deal. I’m just trying to figure out where the time went. What do you do when your baby girl turns 11?

There’s no real reason for writing this post, I guess. Maybe it’s just for me. Maybe it’s for my Bug some day. I don’t know, but I’m drawn to write it. Bump SEO, bump pageviews, forget about who even reads it at all. This is about my youngest baby girl and I. You see, it’s a bumpy road with her and I. It always has been. I wanted her more than life itself when I conceived her, yet as the years go by, I’ve wondered what in the HECK I was thinking when I made the conscious decision to have another child when I did. All in all, I wouldn’t change a thing, in fact. Today, this baby girl turns 11 years old and I’m just happy (more times than not) to just let her shine and call her mine.

See, my baby girl hit the streets running, figuratively (OK it would have been literally if she could have run then, but let’s go with figuratively here) on September 14, 2006. She was the youngest of five children and the apple of all of our eyes (except baby girl number three, she was not entirely sold). She was THE princess from day one and I worshipped her. Literally. She was perfect in every way. Still is in her own right!

Once this “baby” found her way into the world…watch out. She owned it; and us. Sassy, frustrating, the very bane of my existence at times, the biggest talker you’ve ever met, and just so much of a handful at times, I wonder how I make it from day to day. But I see her beauty (even on her bad days) on the outside, but more importantly from within. She might be a hot mess at times, but she’ll do big things some day…mark my words!

Kylee can be difficult, dramatic, and sassy at times. So difficult. So dramatic. SO SASSY. Sometimes (oh who am I kidding, a lot of the time) she makes me want to pull my hair out. Heck, I think she pulls my hair out when I sleep!

She’s silly and adventurous!

And she’s (almost) always fun. Almost. But above all else…she’s 11 today and that’s all that matters to her. Did you know that officially, without question, she can go up to all of the chain restaurant buffets by herself…without me…to get her own food now? The signs all say so and she was quick to remind me this morning. I see a lot of buffets in our future (and a lot of Airborne in mine so I can handle the buffets since I still have to walk Bubby up there!).

All in all…Bug might drive me insane. I might spend a whole lot of time in the school office for her. She may be my biggest challenge in life…for real. The very bane of my existence? Perhaps. But that smile. The sheer joy and love she feels and exudes when she’s feeling her best? It’s amazingly infectious and I love it!

You see, when Bug smiles…when she really, really smiles and means it…to say she lights up a room is a gross understatement. It’s a complete and total illumination. An amazing aura like nothing you’ve experienced. It’s nothing short of magical! My unicorn (the one with the black horn most days) turns 11 today. I love her. I’m proud of her. She drives me crazy, but I just can’t wait to watch her change the world!

If you see this nugget today, wish her a happy 11th birthday. She’s pretty impressive with her drive-her-mom-crazy, talks-too-much, lives-on-the-edge, she’ll-do-amazing-things self. She deserves a happy birthday! Although she drives me nuts, I’ve resigned to let her shine…this little Bug of mine.

Happy birthday, baby girl! I love you more than the sky is blue. This life? It’s tough, but you’ve got this. You’ll rule it in fact! All my love forever and always (yes, even when we fight), Mommy!