My Run In With Barbie

We all knew this day would come, the question was when and how long I could hold off before I let Barbie have it. Well, today was the day! After all of the crap we’ve been dealing with since this foreclosure of the apartment complex and subsequent buy out, and of course the eloquent notes posted all over the complex and left in our door, some of which I have shared, some I have not, I’m truly surprised I’ve kept my mouth shut this long. But this week brought it all to a head and it was not pretty, funny, but not pretty! I feel inclined to share this with you, my friends, as I’m sure you will get a little chuckle out of it.
You see, my rent was late, 5 days to be exact. As I’ve stated, times are tough and with the holidays, B’s checks have been slight. The others parents pay me sporadically so I can’t count on that money for anything. Realizing we would be late, I called the leasing office well in advance to let them know the circumstances and since we had never been late before, figured they would just understand. I got the machine and left a message. I heard nothing from them until two days ago when a notice was posted on my door stating that we would be evicted today (the actual day I had told them I would have the rent to them) if we did not pay in full. Seriously? Evicted for being 5 days late? This had to be a joke. But I called the office for clarification and got Barbie. She was none-too-polite and we had a little bit of a falling out. I of course pointed out that this was not in compliance with my lease and that I had called to inform them of my late payment and that I had never been late in the past. She offered to read my lease to me, as if I was the illiterate. As I was laughing at this concept and told her this was not necessary, she actually put me on hold to go get my lease. I was looking at my lease at the time. So I held, and I held, and I stewed, and I stewed. Finally she came back to the line and told me that she couldn’t find the exact clause in the lease but if I continued to hold, she would find it and read it to me. Since I’ve read her illustrious writing, I knew I didn’t have time for her to read this whole thing. I explained that it was just fine and that while on hold I had already read my entire lease again, and pointed out all of the issues in the lease that they were breaking. She didn’t understand, and I was not surprised. She got a little snippy with me, so I started speaking a little more slowly to help her out. And before hanging up, I once again explained spellcheck and told her I would see her on Thursday (today) with the rent. She reminded me I could just drop it in the box, I was sensing she didn’t want to meet me after all.
This morning, B’s check went into our account, I sat and figured all of our bills as always, the others came, and the day went as usual…hectic! The minute B got home from work (well actually 10 minutes later since I had to change Mischief’s blow out), I raced to Walmart to get my money order. I raced back to the leasing office, yes…I was going to make it back before 5:30 (although my notice said they were open from 5:60 to 5:30) because I wanted to hand-deliver this. Throughout the day, I had convinced myself that I was going to do this amicably, I do have to live here after all for the next 6 months so I decided I would just drop the rent off, get my receipt, smile, and go. That was my intention, but Barbie just isn’t that smart!
Remember again that I am 5’2”, 98 pounds soaking wet, and I’ve never met Barbie (by the way, that is her real name so she says). I walk in, money order in hand, and am approached by a slender woman who I’m guessing to be about 6’3” or so, wow…she was tall! She could step on me, I was glad I had decided to play nice. She introduced herself and asked if she could help me. I introduced myself (what? She didn’t seem to know who I was? OK, this was good). I told her I had my rent but would like a receipt before I go (you see, they were charging me well above the allowed late fee so I wanted documentation that this was paid in full). There were people chatting in the main lobby so as she walked into the smaller office, I followed. She opened her mouth, and the trouble started. Our conversation/confrontation went something like the following.
She looked at me and said “Would you like to stay for our book club meeting?”. NO SHE DID NOT! Me: “No thank you”. Barbie “Are you sure? We were thinking of reading A Christmas Carol”. Me: (oh God no, please stop) “No thank you, I would not care to stay and socialize with you”. Barbie: “Did you get the notice?”. HOLY CRAP LADY, OK here we go! Me: “Yes I did get the notice and I would not care to socialize with people that are not even intelligent enough to use spellcheck before posting throughout an apartment complex and furthermore I would not care to stay and read a children’s book with people who apparently can not read or write themselves”. That light of recognition went on behind her otherwise blank eyes, she knew who I was now, there was no hiding. She snapped “That will be enough of that”. Me: “Enough of what? The truth?”. Barbie (shaking out of obvious frustration and anger at this point as she attempted to use the copy machine): “No, I do use spellcheck and I will not have you belittle me (said like bee little) and shhhh there are people in here for our book club meeting”. Me: “Oh you have this all wrong, I am not attempting to belittle you, I am successfully berating you, there is a difference. And since you look so obviously bothered by this altercation, as information, belittle is one word not two in case you feel the need to document our conversation. Now, I’m sorry for the IN CONVINCE I caused you by paying my rent late and interrupting this meeting of the minds, so if you’ll just give me my receipt, I will leave peacefully”. She was silent as she handed me a signed copy of my money order, I assume this was my receipt. I smiled and walked out of the office, all eyes on me of course.
Sometimes I wonder why people can’t just keep their stupid little mouths shut around me! I try to be nice, I really do but some people make it incredibly hard! Now the game is on, I think I might just show up at the next book club meeting. This could be fun…FOR ME!

If You’re Going To Exert Authority, At Least Use Spellcheck

Yesterday after yet another lengthy, heated argument with my apartment leasing office (Barbie to be exact) over a totally absurd notice I had received, I was feeling like maybe I’d been a bit harsh. You see, I do tend to be a little brutal (although more overly honest to a fault) at times. In the midst of my tirade, I pointed out that this notice was filled with so many typos that I could barely understand the gist and explained that although I knew they were only trying to exert their authority, it might be more effective if they used a simple tool called “spellcheck” which was free with all computer software. I used little words while I explained this concept and proceeded to explain that every notice they had posted since taking over this complex had been illiterate at best. She was offended, I could tell, my work here was done, quid pro quo, tit for tat, eye for an eye! So today, I realized that I had made an impact as I went to check my mail. Posted all over the mailboxes was the notice I have pictured here. So let’s say I play nice and overlook the obvious lack/misuse of punctuation and capitalization, and just focus on the blatantly obvious. At first glance, one might think they were just illiterate idiots, but no, look again. They did use spellcheck as I had suggested. But apparently they had butchered the word “inconvenience” so badly that even the illustrious spellcheck could not recognize it and instead made one of its horrible suggestions….and they bought it! So, although they do have the authority here and can make my life miserable if they so chose, somehow I think I’ve won the battle. I mean, look who’s getting the last laugh! Sure as hell isn’t Barbie!

Recent Apartment Buy Out Is Making Me Crazy Nervous!

My apartment complex recently went through a foreclosure and was “bought out” by some big real estate company.  Things have been spiraling downward ever since (more on that later).  We, as tenants, are supposed to feel all warm & fuzzy about this big change. Today, I found this notice stuck in my door… seriously?  You want me to come meet the staff, you want me to bring my own bottle of wine to share, AND you can’t even figure out how to use spellcheck?  Nope…not feeling warm & fuzzy at all.  In fact, I’m feeling pretty annoyed!  I should have had a clue when I realized that the new manager’s name was Barbie…we’ve been bought out by Matel and they are sending in the toys to run the place!  I seriously doubt these people would actually want to meet me at this point!