Insanity Is Not An Option

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And It’s My Birthday…So What?

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There comes a point in our lives when we’re over birthdays. That point seemingly is when we start descending the hill. That downhill point is different in all of our minds I suppose. 

Back in 1992, we encountered death watch 25. Meaning, I was turning 25 and everyone was worried. I was not ready to be an adult, and to me 25 is the real age of adulthood. I had a 4 year old at that point, but I still wasn’t ready to be “grown”. My friends threw me a huge block party and my mom checked in regularly. It was that bad!

I made it through. Then came 30. That really wasn’t so bad. I had 2 little girls  and I had told myself that if my then husband hadn’t straightened his shit out by then, I was leaving. I did it! The girls and I were alone, but I was grown and I felt empowered. I got my belly button pierced, I went out to a bar, and I WAS the dancing queen that night (if you’re singing Abba songs now…you’re welcome). 

Then just before my 35th birthday, I met my husband. The man you know as B. The man I know as B, or baby, or call me maybe. The father of my 2 youngest children. That was a good year.

And the years have been flying by. There have been major ups, there have been major downs. But all the while, I’ve been living this life and trying to enjoy the little moments and trying NOT to dwell on all the bad crap. 

So here I am. I’m seeing happy birthday messages on FB. My friends are awesome. I should feel happy. But today, this very birthday, is the day the birthday celebrations stop. Today, I cross the line. Today, I descend. Today is the first day of the 2nd half of my life. 

We all have different ideas for mid life. B thinks he’s already hit it even though he’s ten years younger than me. I’m still in denial. It’s conceivable to live to 90. It’s actually common place. Therefore, 45 is middle aged. I was fine until this point. 

Today, I head down the hill. I’m sad. I’m on the back side of over and out. I’m the mother of a 4 year old but my life is more than half way over. I hope to see my grandchildren born. I hope to live for another 45 years. I hope this feeling of sadness and depression (and feeling old as crap) fades. 

I guess I should be happy that I made it over the hill. I have friends that have not been this lucky. BUT I’m saddened and just want to ignore the day  (and the fact that I’m old as crap) completely.  

So thank you if you wish me a happy birthday, but please don’t be offended if I don’t reply. I’m not happy about this and I’d much rather turn back the hands of time, like to 1980-something!

Unhappy birthday to me. Sorry to be such a negative pants here, but it is what it is. Nails in the coffin…I don’t feel as happy about this over the hill birthday as I’ve felt about those in the past. Next year will be better. I’ll have grown accustomed to “old age”. But for now, I pout. I’m old. 

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to. 

It’s OK to Use the "M" Word If You Have a Toddler #PoiseFab5

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Y’all know what I’m talking about if you have a toddler. We spell EVERYTHING! I wouldn’t dare SAY pool or park in front of Bubby because his excitement would be overwhelming until the minute we were able to go to these places. Instead, I spell them…out loud…to B like I’m in some Spelling Bee or something. Example: Do you want to take the kids to the P-O-O-L this afternoon? Saves everyone a lot of heartache and drama.
Unfortunately we, as adults, apply this same principle to uncomfortable topics in our own lives. We just don’t talk about things that aren’t socially acceptable, or that might touch on heartache or drama. We push them under the rug, we hide in the closet, and we spell them in our heads. So let’s put this out there, shall we? 
I’m 45 years old (oh how I want to spell that so it’s in code and you don’t get it), I’m the mother of 6, my youngest is only 3 years old, and I’m in full blown M-E-N-O-P-A-U-S-E! I shared this with you almost a year ago when my Bubby turned 3 years old but I’ve ignored it ever since. It’s not a FUN subject, it’s not funny. But it’s a reality and it’s time I come out of the closet and stop being ashamed. I am not alone. 
September is Menopause Awareness Month and I’m tired of hiding. I’m no longer ashamed and I want to talk about it! It’s just another phase in my life. I survived puberty and I’ll survive this too. It’s nothing but a “thang”. I decided to do this with a B-A-N-G and I wanted to share it with y’all here. Let’s dispel the myth that Menopause is an issue for little old ladies because that’s just not true.
The facts might just surprise you:
  • Perimenopause, or menopause transition, is a stage of a woman’s life that starts several years before Menopause when the ovaries gradually begin to produce less estrogen. It generally starts in a woman’s 40’s but can start in a woman’s 30’s…OR EARLIER!
  • The average length of Perimenopause is 4 years but can last as little as 3 months, or continue for up to 10 years.
  • Perimenopause ends one year after a woman has gone 12 months without a period, at which time a woman officially enters Menopause.
So where am I going with this and why? Do I have a point? Of course I do! If you are going through Menopause, you’ll want to listen. If you are having symptoms, you’ll want to listen. If you think you are too young for this but you are approaching 30, you NEED to listen! You don’t have to be ashamed because this is inevitable. We were born women, we entered puberty, we were fertile, a lot of us gave birth, and we will all go through Menopause. SO WHAT! The only problem is that so many women are not prepared for the C-H-A-N-G-E. They don’t know what to do with the “flashes”, they don’t know how to deal with the lack of sexual drive. Why? Because they have no clue what they are in for and how to deal with these mysterious and unexpected changes when they hit.
Thanks to Poise more and more women know what’s coming their way. They have introduced The 2nd Talk and have challenged us all to put it out there. Stop spelling the words. We can, we should, we HAVE to talk about this. We no longer have to hide in the closet in shame like our mothers did. It’s a fact of life and there is NOTHING wrong with us. We aren’t “sick”, we are just transitioning in to this next phase in our lives, and it’s not that bad!
It’s becoming common place for women to have children later in life (30+), and more and more of us are having a 2nd set of children at an advanced age (like me). This means that more and more of us are experiencing Perimenopause or full blown Menopause while we have toddlers of our own. Let’s talk! Ask your Mom what to expect, share it with your younger friends. No one needs to be in the dark anymore. Let’s stop spelling the words, or not even talking about them at all. 
If you are experiencing hot flashes (Oy…these things are brutal) Poise has products to help you with that! I’m here to tell you that their Body Cooling Towelettes have helped me so much over the past few nights since I found out they exist. The hot flashes have plagued me (no exaggeration at all…these things have been PLAGUING me for the past 4 years) and this product gives me immediate relief. Thankfully, I haven’t started having other issues with sexual dysfunction and the like, but if you do, Poise has products for you too! Grab a coupon at Walmart and try them out for yourself. You can thank me later! You can check out my full shopping experience if you want to see what the babies and I were able to find.
I have the Poise products at home. I’m using the Cooling Towelettes now and I’m happy to have a couple of the other products on hand for when they’re needed. Menopause is a mysterious beast, and you never know when the next phase or issue is going to strike. I’m prepared. Are you?

The full line of Poise Feminine Wellness Products includes:

  • Poise Roll-On Cooling Gel
  • Poise Body Cooling Towelettes
  • Poise Feminine Wash
  • Poise Panty Freshener
  • Poise Personal Lubricant
And thanks to the great people at Poise, I got the awesome opportunity to have the 2nd talk with someone on the “cusp”. I live in my computer and I have so many friends in here. I was excited that I got to meet one of these friends in real life last weekend at Bloggy Boot Camp. Kristi Reddell from Moms Confession is so much fun and we had an immediate connection. She’s only 32, and I’m older than that, so when Poise said I could bring anyone I wanted to a spa for the 2nd talk, I knew I wanted to bring Kristi. We’d already had the talk in Dallas. She knows she’s not too young to think about this and I think she’s prepared! It was time to celebrate our new friendship!
We met up at Zen Salon and Laser Spa for a little relaxation. We had very different things in mind. Kristi was going to relax with a full-body massage, and I was going to get a consult on my face. You see, once you hit Menopause, there is little you can do about the progression of age on your face. I’m vain. Shush…we all are. I wanted to find out if they could help! 
Turns out they can. I’m not into surgery and changing who I am, but I would love a more youthful appearance and Tammy was totally ready to help. After a lengthy discussion, she decided that we needed to start with a chemical peel. So while Kristi was relaxing and getting a massage, I was laying in my room, with my toddler in tow, getting chemically peeled in hopes that my new layers would give me a youthful glow.

Bubby was a good sport, as always, and sat in for the peel. It didn’t take long at all.
When Kristi and I met back up in the lobby, she gushed about her massage. She looked so relaxed. I, on the other hand, was yellow with bad hair. We were both so happy with our experience though and we have nothing but Menopause, the 2nd Talk, and Poise to thank for this fabulous bonding experience! See? It does feel good to talk about it! It brings people together and I’m not embarrassed or ashamed that I shared my “problems” with Kristi…or YOU!
It’s a life event. Embrace it! Menopause might not be all fun and games (although I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that not having periods ROCKS!), but it is nothing to be ashamed of! There are discomforts, there are mood swings, and oh my stars there are hot flashes. But there’s Poise to handle my discomfort, and the spa can tackle the rest! Both have allowed me to embrace the beautiful, menopausal me! Embrace YOU, no matter what phase of life you are in. Not a one of us has a moment to waste and sweating (especially during the hot flashes) the small stuff, just isn’t worth it!
Menopausal, hot flashy, wrinkly, or yellow…it doesn’t matter…it’s good to be me! Seriously, let’s talk about it! M-E-N-O-P-A-U-S-E…it’s not a dirty word and there’s no need to spell it anymore, even if you have a toddler in the house!

Be sure to stay tuned. I have more “work” scheduled on my face in the coming weeks thanks to this inspiration from Poise. I’m happy to be out of the closet. I’ve been introduced to a wonderful product and an awesome spa and I’m taking full advantage of both. I’ll be back to share my facial transformation. Y’all come back now, ya hear? You won’t want to miss the pictures of my face falling off!

Disclaimer: I am a member of the Collective Bias™ Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias™ and Poise. All ideas, opinions, and photos are entirely my own. #CBias #SocialFabric #PoiseFab5