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Everyone’s Not a Winner in this Era of Entitlement

By Christy 4 Comments

Today’s kids, Generation Z as they are being coined at the moment, are going to face a huge wake up call when they grow up and leave the nest. Personally I think they should be called Generation E or The Entitled because they are truly growing up in an Era of Entitlement, and as parents, we are to blame.

Generation Z: We're raising a generation of brats during this Era of Entitlement and it's time to stop!

Let’s face it, the kids of today, well…they’re pretty spoiled for the most part. I know there are exceptions, but let’s don’t go there, I’m talking the typical American kid here. They feel entitled while they happily grow up during the Era of Entitlement. Mine are no exception and it honestly drives me insane (so I guess insanity is an option). We all want the best for our children so we give them stuff, we let them do things, we want them to have a better life than we did, but are we, as parents and educators, really doing the right thing or are we doing them, and the future of our country, a disservice?

Hear me out. I love my kids just as much as you do, but we’re raising a generation of brats that think life is all gum drops, lollipops, and unicorn farts when, in fact, it is not. We give in to picky eaters, we take them to amusement parks, buy them new bicycles, sign them up for dance (or whatever) classes, and we literally move heaven and earth (and our work schedules around) to accommodate their every whim and attend all of their functions. They are the sun, and we are merely planets. Why? Because we love them of course. But you know what? Our parents didn’t do this crap. If a child acted poorly and simply apologized, that wasn’t enough. It was appreciated, but it wasn’t enough. It shouldn’t be enough now. And because it wasn’t enough, most of us grew up a little more ready for the real world than these children will that are being raised during this Era of Entitlement.

You know why they won’t be ready? It’s our fault. As parents, grown ups, educators, and mentors, we’re failing this generation by teaching them that everyone’s a winner because everyone is not a winner at everything. You win when you work hard. The end. Think about it. You can just “join” sports teams now, no try outs required because there’s a rec center in every town. Field Day? Everyone gets a ribbon, even that super smart kid (that might be your kid’s boss one day) that runs slower than a snail. Yup, he gets a ribbon too…for coming in last place. That kid should be getting his reward in the classroom because that’s where he’s working hard and that’s where his focus should be (because smart people rock). The kid that outran everyone in that race? That’s the one that should get the ribbon, along with the two that followed behind him. We should be guiding our children to do the things they love, and those that we know they will succeed in. We should NOT be telling them they are perfect and that they are great at everything. No one is. I’m a grammar ninja, but I can’t “math”, I’m probably the slowest runner on the planet, and I can’t lift heavy stuff. I know my limits, so should they. We’re not teaching them that.

B used to gripe about this Era of Entitlement and the “Everyone’s a Winner” thing a lot. I used to tell him that they were just babies and no one wanted to hurt their feelings. Unfortunately, he took that to heart too much and he’s just as guilty as I am now of being an “offender”. If the babies have acted up all day, but he really wants to go to the beach or on a bike ride, he’ll give in and take them anyway. If I put my foot down and say Bubby needs to try what I’m cooking for dinner, I’ll make him try it, but he won’t eat it and says he’s starving, I’ll give in and make him something else. Enough!

It’s not just us. If you’re reading this, you know you’re guilty too. Sure, we all discipline our kids, but we still give in way too often and we’re doing them, we’re doing all of us, a huge disservice. It’s better to teach them now, the way we, Generation X and The Millennials, were taught. We’re not all winners. We are not all good at everything. If we were bad (especially we Gen X’ers), we didn’t get stuff. We were ready for the world. Will this generation be? I think not. Let’s stop raising our children in an Era of Entitlement and start raising them to be future leaders in a world of equality. Let them be the change. If they are going to do that, we’ll need to do some changing first.

I’m ready to make that change. Who’s with me?

Filed Under: Family, Life, Moms, Parenting Tagged With: Era of Entitlement, Generation Z, parental problems

My Baby Girl Is Broken and I Can’t Fix Her Alone

By Christy 35 Comments

learning disabilities, parenting, discipline

A while back I made a bold stand and explained that my baby girl was different. She’s a societal square peg being shoved into a round hole. I stand by that. She doesn’t fit any mold and I celebrate her uniqueness and I support her no matter what. She’s my baby. That’s my job. I love her unconditionally, and I always will. But lately, she’s been trying that unconditional love theory. She’s been trying it for 6 years in fact and I’m beginning to think that I can’t tackle these issues alone.

She’s a bright girl. She was in the GT (gifted and talented) program at school until earlier this year when I pulled her and moved her to a different school. She’s no dummy. At. All. She’s intelligent, beautiful, and she amazes me every day. But she’s broken and I’m afraid I can’t fix her alone.

I have to be honest with you because honesty is important to me. At times, she’s just bad. She doesn’t mean to be. I know she doesn’t. But she pitches fits (like frightening fits), she talks back, she’s always right, she’s mean to her brother and I (think bully here), and she steals. The stealing is what has me concerned about her broken state because now she’s endangering herself and it scares me. She’s been stealing from our house ever since she learned this “trade” from her half sister 2 years ago when she lived with us. She steals little trinkets, unimportant stuff, but she also steals food.

She’s not hungry. She gets breakfast at home before school, sometimes she eats a second breakfast at school, then a snack and lunch I pack for her at school, a snack when she gets home, then dinner. She’s not hungry, yet she steals food. I buy snack cakes and fruit snacks weekly to put in their lunches. One sweet snack per day. That’s what they get. But the other night, my baby girl ate a whole pack of oatmeal creme pies while we slept, at 2:00 am I would guess. She’s eaten B’s Atkins Bars. She’s downed whole boxes of fruit snacks. I’m worried what she will steal and eat next.

When you ask her what, WHY, she just looks at you and rolls her eyes, and says nothing. She knows it’s wrong, but she continues to do it. What’s next? What will she steal that will hurt her? A mother’s worst fear. And so I’ve moved on to the next phase. I don’t want to, will not, shove her in that round hole, but I will protect her no matter what.

We went to the counselor at school, that was a bust. I talked to a counselor that was recommended by the school. That didn’t go well in my head. They recommended the “m” word until we can break through. Medication. I’ve thought about it a lot. I don’t want to medicate her, but I don’t want her to hurt herself sometime while I’m in the bathroom trying to pee, while I’m outside with the dog, while I try to sleep my 4 hours per night. I want her safe. So I’m considering the “m” word and although B doesn’t want it, he said he won’t fight. That’s his baby girl, he wants her safe, he acknowledges the problems.

I ran this by my closest friends the other day and one of them said something that hit home. “She’s sick and you’re taking her to the doctor to get better. Don’t worry about what type of sick or type of doctor.” And she was right. My baby is broken and she needs to get well.

I’m not talking about any kind of spectrum here. She’s not on any spectrum. She’s brilliant when she puts her mind to it, but she’s sick and she needs to get well. Wish us well. Pray for us if that’s what you do. Know that I know that medication is NOT the answer to everything. Know that I KNOW that my square peg should be allowed to be different. But know that I KNOW that my square peg has hit a road block and she’s endangering herself. KNOW that my only intention is trying to figure out how to fix my baby so that she can be the healthy square peg she was meant to be. And know that I KNOW she, we, will get through this phase and I still think (KNOW) she will make a difference in this world.

She’s amazing, she’s beautiful, she’s different, and right now…she’s broken. We’ll fix this. I know we’ll fix this.

Filed Under: Bugisms, Disappointments, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting Tagged With: learning disabilities, parental problems, parenting

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Hey y'all! I'm Christy and I'm glad you could stop by. Have a seat, grab a drink or a straight jacket, and join me as I share heart-healthy recipes, stories and life lessons about my insanely large family, and whatever else pops into my hot mess of a mind! Read More…

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