While most parents rejoice during back-to-school season, some of us suffer from the BTS Mom Blues. Probably not a clinical term, but a real condition. Try practicing these five ways to cope with BTS Mom Blues to combat your loneliness, anxiety, and depression.
What are the BTS Mom Blues?
While many of you are cheering back-to-school season and cherishing your quiet time alone, there are others, like myself, feeling empty and blue. While you may feel that you are getting SO MUCH DONE in these first few days, weeks, months, some of us can’t concentrate or get motivated enough to get anything done.
These issues and many more, my happy-go-lucky-loving-your-empty-day-nest friends, are called the BTS Mom Blues. And it’s rough! I’m prone to tears at any given moment, I have the television on mindless shows for “white noise”, every time I get out of a meeting, I look up expecting one of them, any of them, to immediately need something from me.
But they don’t. They aren’t even here. I’m all alone in my house. Just me, no noise other than the constant pecking of these keys.
Coping with the BTS Mom Blues!
If you miss frolicking with your kids during the care-free summer days, and if you’re a sufferer like me, I have some tips for coping you should try. You might not want/need to listen, but believe me, at this point I’m an expert with six kids and a total of 29 years full-time parenting under my belt (with a 9 and 11 year old still at home!).
Tip 1: Let them know you’re OK!
When they go to school on the first day, and all the subsequent days, let them know you’re OK with it. Sounds silly, but telling them helps you convince yourself. Added bonus for giving them that added boost of courage and confidence. Mom “wins” help you cope with your BST Blues.
Tip 2: Let them be unicorns!
I know this one might sound a little trite, cliché even, but really it’s not at all. For those of us who suffer the BTS Mom Blues, we need to remember that our children need to be unique and forge their own paths in life. If we keep them with us all the time (which is truly what I want to do other than the occasional date night, etc.), we don’t give them the space they need to make friends, become stronger, learn more, and just grow up to be amazing humans…all on their own!
Tip 3: Make the most of together time!
No brainer here. When they get off of school, finish up your work, help them with homework, then let them help make dinner for the night or lunches for the next day. You’ll begin to realize that the time you spent alone wasn’t so bad after all and it just makes you appreciate your time together that much more!
Tip 4: Use the TV for mindless white noise!
During the day, if you feel it’s too quiet to function, like I do, since you’ve grown so accustomed to the chaos, turn on the TV for some white noise. Keep the volume low so as not to distract you from your work, but the background noise will actually help raise your productivity. Trust me, I know from experience. Don’t turn on something that will suck you in, of course, because that’s counter productive. I suggest Jerry Springer (yes, I’m serious) or something similar. Lots of fighting, no resolution. Just like when the kids are at home!
Tip 5: Remember that you deserve alone time!
As moms, I think this one is the hardest. I almost think guilt plays a HUGE part in the BTS Mom Blues. We need to be needed in all aspects of our lives. Home, work, husband, kids, you name it; we need to be needed so we feel a sense of emptiness if any of those aspects aren’t with us at all times. Break the cycle. They need you, whether they are with you in the moment or not, they need you. Remember that every time you start to feel blue.
That’s about it. I guess I’m not much on advice since I still suffer this horrible ailment (at least for the first half of the school year) every year, but that’s my advice in a nutshell. Seems simple, straight forward, and somewhat elementary (see what I did right there?), but it’s how I get through these days and I’m hoping it will help y’all out too. Hang in there, mommas, we got this. What advice do you have for beating the BTS Mom Blues? I’d love to hear them in the comments below!