Have YOU Found Your Tribe?

my beavers, SoFabCon 2014, #SoFabCon14
When bloggers go to conferences, we always hear the same words. Don’t get me wrong, there are many lessons to be learned and I always take them all in, but some words, some messages, are simply repeated time after time. Why? Because they’re THAT important. The one that resonates the most with me is simply “Have you found your tribe?”.


 noun \ˈtrīb\

: a group of people that includes many families and relatives who have the same language, customs, and beliefs

: a large family

: a group of people who have the same job or interest

Tribes are important y’all! Bloggers be bitches (and *ahem* brands) sometimes, and you need that tribe. You need them to lift you up, to bump ideas off of, to laugh, to cry, to support, to just…well be there when you need them. I’ve got them and everyone needs a tribe in all aspects of their lives. Both professionally, and personally.

Silly Tribe

My tribe, my beavers, hails from Michigan, California, North Carolina, and Texas (although that last one is painstakingly shy and absent from almost all of our photos). You might think it’s strange that my BEST FRIENDS in the whole wide world don’t live close to me, but it is what it is. These are my people. I love my people. We’re not a click (although we do wear pink on Wednesdays), and we do welcome anyone and everyone into whatever fun we can stir up. We’re a tribe. A strong group of like-minded women that aim to support, and love, one another no matter what our industry brings. A tribe. If I haven’t said this already, you need to find your tribe because these beautiful, strong women are invaluable in my every day life. I need them, and I hope that in turn, they need me.

To the outside world, we’re goofy, we’re a hot mess, we’re a bunch of nonsensical women that appear to need therapy. But on the inside, in our tribe, we’re supportive, strong, loving, and we have each other’s backs no matter what. Mess with me, you mess with my tribe.

Have you found your tribe?

Also, don’t forget about cross-tribing. Is that a word? OK, apparently it is now. My tribe has tribes. We cross tribe and that’s just as important as my tribe itself. Like-tribes flock together and support one another. We help each other grow, and we find happiness in each other’s successes.


I’m not going to say your life will be perfect once you find your tribe, but I can assure you, it will be so much better, so much more enriched than it is now. My tribe? I’ll love them until the day I die and I thank my lucky stars that we’re aligned and that they have my back, and that I have theirs.

Want to see how our tribe’s dynamics work? Be forewarned, we’re a random, hot mess, but we work well together and thankfully, one of us catches it all on video. This is one of our random trips to the best Walmart on the PLANET while we were in NW Arkansas for #SoFabCon14.

Have you found your tribe?

Can an Online Friendship be a True Friendship?

Now that’s a great question! I believe the answer to be yes for so many reasons, well 5 actually. I should talk about this more. I don’t believe in dating sites, I don’t believe in chat rooms. But I do believe in online communities and I KNOW for a fact that having a tribe, an online network, keeps me grounded. I love my friends. Sometimes I lote (love + hate) them because they do keep me grounded, but I’m happy to be a part of my close-knit group. Sometimes I find it hard to put into words how much they mean to me. And why would I when one of them put it so eloquently and allowed me to share it with y’all here? Without further ado, my friend, Janet from Going Crazy Wanna Go shares her story.
Photo by Dancenhance Entertainment

Guest Post by Janet from Going Crazy!! Wanna Go??!!

Before I started blogging, I was a blog reader. I would subscribe to my favorites and just read all day long about the lives of women who worked from home, worked outside the home, couponed to help their families save money, and taught others how to enjoy their children on a daily basis. I would comment where I felt a connection and support others as I often do in real life. I got to know a few of them, but I was just a reader to them. Sometimes the bloggers would respond and sometimes not, but I stayed loyal to quite a few of them for a while.

After I had read for several months, I started to think that maybe I could do this blog thing too. I reached out to a blogger who was near me and asked for her advice. She encouraged me and told me how she thought I could get started and then one day I took the leap. I didn’t know what I would write about, but I knew that others told me that I wrote well and were happy to see that I was using that skill for something enjoyable.

On my very first day of blogging (August 1, 2011) I came across another “newbie” and we started chatting. We found out that we both needed a LOT of help and we started learning new things and teaching each other. Not long after that we started a Newbie Blog Hop and a Facebook group for Newbies like us. We talked about the things we were learning and we had a great time. It turns out that my newbie friend is much younger than me and she had some family and marriage issues and the more we got to know about each other, the more we talked about our personal lives almost as much as we talked about our blogs (maybe more!). To this day, we are friends on Facebook and talk occasionally. The Newbie group is gone and the hop fizzled out (we passed it on to some newer newbies and I haven’t kept track of it), but our friendship is still there. Her original blog fizzled out and she started a new one, then she decided to move on to living her young, happy life. My blog is thriving, limping on some days and soaring on others, and it has been the source of a lot of happiness for my family. Someday I hope to meet Kristin  in real life and give her a big ‘ole hug.

Since making a friend in Kristin, I have continued to “meet” several people online and it amazes me daily that I have made so many friends through online groups and blogging. But, can an online friendship be a true friendship?
Can an online friendship be a true friendship?
I know that Christy has talked a lot on this blog about Collective Bias and you all already know what an amazing company this place can be to its bloggers. The community of Social Fabric is the stronghold of the company and I have met so many great people through working with them. When I was first starting out, I was timid and shy (still am in real life) and I doubted my work. I started up conversations with a few of my campaign leaders (who scared the crap out of me) and it turns out these people are (almost) just like me!

When I needed advice on a series of posts for my blog, Mallery talked to me about the logistics of it all and what she loved about the idea. She encouraged me to just go for it and rock it! I still doubted myself, but her words stuck with me for over a year and one day I took the plunge and started writing about my messy house and then I had the motivation to clean it up!
When I started to get down about my weight and my body and I put myself down too much, Summer stepped in and started giving me pep talks on a daily basis. She told me her story of an abusive marriage and her own struggles with weight. She is unashamed on her blog and she encourages me to just put it all out there. She and Mallery are both Paleo believers and they told me that my healthy lifestyle IS Paleo too! Now, I’m more motivated than ever to get healthy, not worry about size, love myself and my own beauty as I am today, and encourage other women to love themselves as well.

When I needed work, was discouraged by the work I wasn’t getting, and was looking to branch out, Jillian stepped in and offered me work, encouraged me to keep writing, found jobs that were perfect for me. She is one of “those” moms – the ones who love crepe paper and parties and make the most amazing crafts – but she encourages me to keep crafting with my boy and just being myself.

When I think that my life sucks and I just need a laugh, Amy will step in with an inappropriate, but very funny, anecdote and instantly I’m laughing instead of on the edge of tears. Amy has encouraged me in my posts to be better, do better, and work hard. She has a full time job outside the home, just like me, and she is a source of inspiration for me.

And Christy, bless her big ‘ole Texas heart, she is my rock on most days. I can text, email, call, message her on Facebook, or just think of her sometimes, and life seems more bearable. I know that sounds really mushy and dramatic, but it’s true and if you read Christy’s blog, you know it is 100% accurate. Christy has “pulled me back from the ledge” more times than I can count. She has helped me emotionally, financially, and spiritually (and yes, I know, she’s not “religious”, but she has…). She is an amazing person and friend and I was blessed the day I “met” her.

Now, to answer the question of this post, I’ll say this. I have met each of these ladies once in real life last May at a conference. I might have spent 30 minutes total with each of them (if that long) because the conference was overwhelming to me and I was more than a little ill. Even though I haven’t spent face to face time with these ladies, I consider them my very best friends. When something sad or frustrating happens, I tell them. When something exciting or funny happens, I tell them. When I thought about leaving my husband recently, I told them.

I think you could say that YES, online friends can be true friends. Well, that is if you have online friends like mine.

So I Have These Friends…

So I have these friends…focus is not their thing. It kind of messes with my OCD tendencies but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

You see, when I’m trying to work, they distract me. When I’m trying to be good and get my work done, they distract me. When I’m trying to sleep, they distract me. When I just want to be in a crappy mood, they make me giggle and distract me. I should shed myself of these distractions honestly. Nothing good could come from these unions…or could it?
Although they distract me on a regular basis, at least 2 of them know where the bodies are buried. When you read about my life, you don’t know the whole story. They do. When I whine about things, you only read the surface story. They hear the real deal. When you see something on here that might seem obscure, they know the whole meaning behind the post. 

The truth is, I’ve never met some of my “real” friends in “real” life, but I trust them with my deepest, darkest secrets. And I distract them from their “real” lives on a regular basis too. I have to. When I need someone to talk to, they are there. And I love them for that!

So when these friends feel like distracting me, no matter how busy I am, I’m actually OK with it and thankful that I have them in my life.

In May, I will make a real life connection with these friends at SoFabCon (a conference hosted by Collective Bias). I’m pretty excited about being distracted. Hopefully no one will divulge where I’ve hidden the bodies. I’ve trusted them this long, I think they’ve got my back.

It will be epic. There will be pink vs. purple. There will be chub suits and karaoke. But most importantly, I will get to “meet” my friends that constantly distract me. And I will smile. And my world will be a better place. 

P.S. – For the record, I might be the most distracting of all people. Eh…they deal with me and love me anyway. 

Distractions are a beautiful thing. Squirrel please!